And yet, this feeling too shall pass...

[lawpupk9]

My son shipped on 03 August after being picked up by his DEP Petty Officer to stay overnight in a hotel before swearing in the following morning.  I posted this story about my son, his fiancee, his brother and I on my personal blog the following day:

 

And yet, this feeling too shall pass...

Of all the things I’ve done in my life, being a mother is the most difficult and the most rewarding. 

I’ve been a nurse, a maid, a mechanic, a designer, a travel agent, a warden and a safe haven for two of the most wonderful people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting .  Not a day has gone by that I ever regretted being their mother, although some days I have wanted a vacation from the responsibility…like most mothers do.  I might have thought about changing some of the decisions that I made along the way, but in doing so (if there were actually that option) it would change more than just that single decision and altering who and what my boys are, which is no kind of option I’d ever want.

 

Today I stood in my tiny living room, floor covered in boxes and things scattered about, making polite small talk with a handsome Naval Petty Officer waiting for Joe.  The Petty Officer was late to pick him up and was saying something about moving with his wife closer to his job.  I smiled and nodded and offered useless tidbits in the conversation, more concerned with his tardiness than what he was saying.  I reminded myself that it was going to be like this with the Navy, being an ex-Navy wife myself. 

 

Then I thought about Robin.  How sad and lonely she must feel, having to say goodbye to the man she loves while he is off to make a life for them and she wait here.  How bittersweet life is.  She, being sick and unable to even kiss him farewell.  Yet, for their future, she must know how important this is.

 

Time was passing and the Petty Officer began shuffling his feet and looking more antsy as we chatted. Smiling, I told him I would go and find out what was holding up the train.

 

As I rounded the corner toward the bedroom, I heard the sniffles.  I knew. 

Joe was holding his brother tightly wrapped in his arms.  Zach’s sun burned little face, upturned on his brother’s shoulder, tears streaming down his cheeks and his eyes closed.  I cleared my throat and said matter-of-factly, “All right now… Joe, it’s time to go.”  They both turned and released each other.  Joe drew in a long breath and nodded.  I walked back into the living room, leaving Zach and Robin alone and Joe following me obediently.

 

The Petty Officer had been looking at the photos of our family on the shelf by the door when we walked back in.  I’m sure I will think about that every time I look at those framed moments of our lives from now on. 

 

I stood still in the middle of the room and watched my son hike up the backpack that contained just a few essential things for the overnight stay in the hotel onto his shoulder. I smiled at him. 

“Mom…”  I can’t remember a hug from him that ever felt so important.  He held me and laid his head on my shoulder, much like when he was little and would come home from school after having a terrible day and the only thing that made it better was my understanding.  I patted him on the back after a few moments and said, “I know. But it’s time…”  He inhaled deeply and stood up from the leaning position he had to take to hug me, straightened his shirt and said, “Yup.  Let’s go, Petty Officer” taking the few strides to the door.

 

Walking out our front door, I said, “Hey!  I love you…” 

He said he loved me back.  I winked.

 

Alone and standing on the front porch, I watched that nondescript, champagne colored sedan back out of my driveway with my baby inside.  He was off to start his life.  Fresh and shiny and new.  And all his. 

 

I was suddenly lonely and my belly hurt.

 

All I could do was blow him a kiss.   I got one in return.

[Kim (Dani's Mom ship 10 Div 331)]

How beautiful!!!!  I am sitting  here sobbing thinking about when my daughter left, it has been a year since she has been gone.  I miss her every day but she is so happy and loves the navy.  God bless

[caseys40]

My son graduated 8-26-2011, left for "A" school very early on the 27th. Here I am looking now for the support of him still being gone, find this blog by lawpupk9, and start crying all over again. But it was worth it. I didn't get to experience the Petty Officer coming to my home though. My son left the night before to go stay with one of his brothers.

[Renee]

My son left for BC on Aug 15, and this so accurately all those feelings of a mother's heart.  Thank you!  I've only cried twice since he's been gone - this really did it for me.  Really beautiful.

[roe821 (Ship 02/ Div 948)]

I want to thank you for sharing your story with us.  This is my third week and I am missing my son very much and you have expressed feelings that so many of us have experienced.  Prays and blessing to all.

[KathyMmom]

Loved this.  Felt very similar when my son hugged me good bye and told me not to worry.  'It's my time' he said, and off he went.  But the good part is, after the goodbyes, the hellos start again too.  ;-)  I got my first call today since 8/9.  'Hey Mom - whatsup?'  Wow - my heart did a flip flop.  He sounded so great, and at the end of the call he said 'Mom - my time is up for now, but I love you bunches.  Pass it on.  See you in October!'  I can't wait.

[Melissa]

In reading your blog my eyes filled with tears. and i find that I cant even respond...just waiting for PIR so that I can give my baby girl the biggest hug in the world.

[TexasBonBon]

Wow, that was awesome - I remember those feelings...

[ProudNavyMom]

Loved your blog....my son has been in the DEP program now for nearly a year and has a ship date of Dec 7th, I find myself  teary eyed just thinking about that day and your words are exactly how I imagine it. I only hope I can hold it together as well as you did!! I know it is the best move he has ever made and as any mother only wants success and happiness for him! This is the answer to a lot of prayers for him.....I just have to keep telling myself that!! Thank you for sharing!

[DisneyDebi (02/903)]

Thank you - my son leaves in three days and your story has reminded me to be calm enough and thoughtful enough to remember to say all the things my heart wants to say.  It also reminded me that while my son is not attached to a young woman, he leaves a brother and a sister who love him very much, and so very many friends who will also miss his bright cheery smile and his killer sense of humor.  I am not the only one feeling sad for how much I will miss him.  I will remember them and reach out to comfort them, for my son.

Of course, at the end of a very long day, I will break down and cry, but will do so, knowing my son is off to begin a journey like no other, and that he does so of HIS own choice, and for that, I am so proud.

 

[navymom2]

Thank you so much for sharing this story with us!  I remember the sadness of my son leaving for boot camp, but seeing him again for the first time at graduation and then again on his first visit home was absolutely joyous!