Confused.

[Kellyd]

Ok, so I am confused. Maybe I am in the minority but I can't understand feelings that some moms have about their kids joining the Navy. I just read a post about the 5 stages of Boot Camp and frankly the first 4 seem odd.

When our son told us he was joining the Navy, I was so proud. I still am. I guess my only concern now is where his A-school will be!

Go Navy!
Kelly

[BunkerQB]

While I didn't feel (or react) the way most moms here did when my son joined the Navy, I fully understand. Some people are more emotional (not that it's any better or worst). Some are more proactive. Some are paralyzed with fear. Some don't want an empty nest (won't know what to do without the routine of school, sports, after-school activities). Some are afraid they'll have to get a job (outside the house). Typically, having a child leave the nest is easier for a "working" mom who has been used to "leaving" each morning for the office than for a "stay-at-home" mom.

We are all moms/dads/loved ones who will be facing the future knowing that by joining the military, our sons/daughters/husbands/wives are taking an oath to defend our country. We are proud because our loved ones are doing something honorable and good but we also know that there is an element of risk. Furthermore, the military live style will make it hard to have constant-always-reachable communications (emails, texts, phone calls, drive-bys, letters). This fact alone drives many up the wall. Much depends on the circumstances surrounding the recruit leaving and the relationship between the parent(s) and child.

In June 2006, the year our older son joined the Navy, we took our younger son to West Point (United States Military Academy). He was going to be an Army officer - Infantry. I was paralyzed with fear just thinking about the day when he would ship out to Afghanistan or Iraq (even though it was going to be 5-6 years away). I couldn't sleep. I was consumed by the whole thing. I joined every conceivable organization possible. Cried endlessly. Bought years of Army/Navy football tickets. Luckily for us - he decided after 2 years that military life was not for him (he didn't like the endless rules and regulations - now I could have told him that - and did but he was determined to go to West Point).

In December of '06, we took our older son to the airport to start Navy Officer Candidate School. I gave him a quick hug. My husband shook his hand. We waived a quick goodbye, drove off to lunch. We didn't shed a tear. We didn't think he would be in any great being a nuke officer on a submarine although we couldn't for the life of us envisioned what LIVING on a sub would be like. Our older son had graduated from college. He knew what he was doing. He definitely had a plan even though he didn't like rules and regulations any more than his brother. He recently finished his 5 year commitment to the Navy, got a wonderful job, got married and bought his first home.

We are here to support each other regardless of how the person reacts emotionally. As one of the more "senior" (in age, not stature) ladies around here, occasionally we feel the need to point out the benefits of developing a calmer, more rational approach. Often our new moms over-react and think we are being rude, judgmental and insensitive. We don't intend to make light of anyone's feelings. We know for any of us to survive the test of having a loved one in the military, we have to learn to accept the facts, learn to to deal with them and learn to live a semblance of a "normal" life.  

To all the scared, confused newbies with red-rimmed eyes out there - it's OK. Find a supportive Navy For Moms group (any many as you can) to join. You'll get the hang of it. Stay on and help the next generation.

To all the matter-of-fact moms/dads, please help us maintain this site. If you can't post a supportive "emotional" response because it's not your thing, please help with providing information (how, when, where).

I have learned a great deal from ALL the Navy For Moms members.  Pay it forward. Fair winds and following seas to all our sailors.

Sincerely yours,

BunkerQB.

[Kellyd]

Thank you BunkerB. I guess sometimes my perception can be jaded. I am the daughter of An Army father, granddaughter of a marine and wife of a retired Naval Officer.

You are absolutely correct though.

Proud mom of Navy Sailor,
Kelly

[ebigirl]

Bunker,

Once again, very well said. Not all personalities on any site are going to "mesh" together. We are all unique and that's what is so wonderful about all of us. When one of us falls apart, there are others there to pick up the pieces. I have learned so much from this website. I knew nothing about the Military of any kind when my son called me back in Nov. of 2010 and announced that "he had joined the Navy". I was clueless, speechless (which is very hard for me to be lol!!) but also very, very proud of my only child and son!!

The Navy is the very best thing that could have ever happened to my son. He grew up and became a man in the 8 short weeks he was in bootcamp.

[lemonelephant]

Hi Kelly, I was kind of like you as well, but I know that some do have a hard time and if they do, they do; and just because that was not my experience, it doesn't mean that I can't offer support and information when needed.  We raise our children to move away and pursue their dreams.  As for our (future) Sailors, we place them in the best hands of all--those of God and the US Navy. 

Anyway, is your future Sailor currently in BC or in DEP?  If in BC, when is his PIR or if in DEP, when is his ship date?  You mentioned wondering where his A School will be; I checked your page and saw that he is going to be on a sub, so he will be at Groton for some of his schooling.  You may wish to join GROTON, CT. SUBSCHOOL & "A" SCHOOL MOMS (clickable link).  What will his rating be?  There may be other groups we can steer you to.

[Kellyd]

I feel the need to clarify my comments. I was in no putting down anyone's feeling regarding how they feel when given the news of their child enlisting.
I only aksed to inderstand how and why they feel that way.

I am huge fan a blogs like these because while I feel great about his decision now but it doesn't mean that when he leaves my strength and pride that could very well be built on a foundation of cards, won't come crashing down.

I was not trying to step on toes. I apologize if it came across in that manner.

Have a blessed day!
Go Navy!
Kelly

[lemonelephant]

I don't think anybody felt you were putting anybody down.  I didn't anyway and I hope my comments didn't lead you to feel that way.  We are all in this together and feelings are just that "feelings" and there is no right or wrong way to feel when you get the news or send your future Sailor off.

From that comment, your future Sailor is in DEP.  What is his ship date?

[ebigirl]

Kelly,

I didn't feel put down at all, and you didn't even come close to stepping on my toes!! :-)  As I stated we are all from different backgrounds and all experience things in different ways. Because your background includes many family members who served in the Military, you will be able to add that aspect of your knowledge to this site.

As Lemonelephant said, we're all in this together! Welcome again. :-)

[BunkerQB]

Kellyd, I think you can really contribute to this site. As you might have detected from my previous comment, my time here is up. Or as my sailor would say, "Mom, you have used up your shelf life. Time to retire." LOL  Don't worry about stepping on my dainty toes, they are encased in comfortable, steel toed Amalfis. Now, ladies where should we direct Kellyd?  We don't want her to get away.

[lemonelephant]

Kellyd, you may want to join New Members Stop Here and check out the Pages and Discussions there.  You've already joined Boot Camp Mom's; later on you may want to join, or at least check out, PIR Reference Information.  There are groups for each month for those with loved ones in DEP; put DEP and the month in the search box after clicking on the Group tab or we can direct you to the group if you post the ship date.

Your future Sailor may want to join http://www.navydep.com to learn the ins and outs from the DEP point of view. Craig runs that and will steer you to some good links on there.

(Group names and the link within this comment are clickable links.)

[amandamomof4]

Hi Kellyd I peaked at your page too and saw your boy is leaving 9/26.. mine is leaving 10/4 and going in to the same field so they may intersect at some time most likely at Groton.. just depends on timing. I recomend the Groton group too lots of good information and nice people there.. I specifically wanted to know what would be going on there when my boy got there so I went back about 120 pages of comments and read most of the way forward. Since people move on from there it was a good way to fill in the blanks :)