Disabling Injury and Relationships

[amynavymom]

Nobody ever wants to imagine it, but if you have found that your significant other has suffered from a disabling injury, your relationship will be changing in many ways. No matter what line of work you’re in this is always a potential risk, especially in the military. So despite that things could change you can still make it work, however you both will need to make a few necessary changes.

 

The responsibilities in the relationship should not all fall on to one person.  After a disabling injury, it is common for the able-bodied person to want to take on more and try to help out as much as possible.  This can lead to the person getting burnt out.  If the person gets burnt out, the relationship will most likely not work.  It is important to understand how the balance of the responsibilities will change after the experience of a personal injury.  Balance is key and it is important to understand the role of each person’s responsibilities.  A significant other should not be the caregiver.  This will also add on a lot more work to just one person and could easily lead them to being burnt out.  Consider the option of having a caregiver come into your home.  It may not be ideal to have a stranger coming into your home to assist with this, but it will relieve a lot of stress and can benefit your relationship in the long run.

 

Keep the romance alive with the small things.  Take the time to look into one another’s eyes and say you love one another.  This often holds a lot more weight than trying to keep things as they were before the disabling injury.  Say nice things to one another.  Giving a compliment or saying something nice can make everything seem and feel better.  This also increases our levels of happiness.  There will always be frustrating situations and things will not always go as planned, but you just have to remember to laugh.  Laughing releases all of the frustrations inside of you and makes you realize how small of a thing it was to be frustrated over to begin with.  The healthier the individual’s personality, the better the chances of adapting to change.  All of these things can be done several times a week to improve the quality of the relationship.

 

Remember, in a relationship you are a team.  Try to be able to see the relationship and the world from the other person’s perspective.  Take the time to evaluate how well you and your partner communicate.  It is less about what you say and more about what you hear.  When you tackle issues, problems and injuries as a team, you are more likely to succeed and less likely to resent one another in the process.

 

It all breaks down to love, patience and honesty.  While you may need to love a little more, have a bit more patience and speak the truth after a disabling injury, this will only strengthen your relationship.