Ditto

[Mandy]

When my son came home September 2014 and told me he had joined the Navy at 17, I was stunned, shocked, concerned, proud, confused, and happy all at once.  My first question was how he could join at only 17; I soon learned the answer to that question with lots of signed paper work by his parents.  My next question was what made you decide to do this?  He responded Mom it is the best fit for me.  Moreover, of course but when do you leave?  That answer did not come as easy, I found out he could leave anywhere from March 21, 2015 to September 2015, since he was going for aircrew he could go anytime there was an opening.    That is a lot of hold your breath and wait.

Then we got the call August 5, 2015 my son would head to basic training.  It just got real; we were in this for the long haul.  Seeing him off at the airport was surreal, watching him walk onto the runway to the plane, thinking the boy I once knew will be forever changed.  I could not take my eyes off him, he looked back with the same look of uncertainty in his eyes, I swallowed hard, smiled and waved goodbye again and turned around.  Tears did not start streaming until I turned around, I wanted him to see me strong, proud and supporting, and I refused to let him get on that plane with the last thought of his Mom crying.  My daughter on the other hand was a mess from day one. 

The phone call that he arrived safe was gut wrenching; I could hear the fear and same uncertainty in his voice.  “Mom, I’m here, I’m safe, and you’ll be receiving a package with my stuff in about 10 days.”  I responded quickly (I knew they do not have much time).  “Ok, good you’ve got this; you were born to do this, stay strong, positive and safe.  I love you.”   “Ditto Mom, bye”.  I hung up and prayed, I was not prepared with how hard this was going to be.

The next few weeks were so hard, and so odd, I had went from constantly checking up on him, making him check in, follow house rules, be nice to his sister, feed his dog.  To completely nothing, before basic every weekday he would call me or stop by my office around two o’clock.  I found this was when I missed him the most.  His sister struggled, bursting out in tears every other day, cleaning his room, wearing his shirts, anything to feel close to him.  I reminded myself to keep it positive for her too, show her that we were a family of support and encouragement, and when we finally got a letter or phone call, we needed to continue that.  Not asking him to come home, (she did anyways).

First letter home, I was never so happy to receive mail, shuffled through some bills and there it was the first letter.  His handwriting was so clear, his letter short and sweet, a little bit of joking, a little bit of missing home.  From that day on, I wrote him every day, either a letter or a card, or the encouragement cards that family and friends filled out at his graduation/going away party.  I found out later he really like receiving the encouragement cards, he said they made bad days a little better.  He also liked receiving my letters where I would print pictures on the paper; he said everyone wanted him to share his pictures.  (Maybe because he has a cute sister?) .

Then the phone call, sitting with my husband on a Saturday morning my cell phone goes off, number not known Great Lakes, IL.  I look at my husband its Chase!  Answer quickly!  I said hello as normal as I could, his response “Hi”.  My heart smiled, my eyes filled up with tears, a lump came to my throat, I swallowed… smiled and said “Hey bud!”  We were able to talk to him for about 30 minutes; he was able to call home because he did so well on the 9mm testing.  I was so happy, he sounded so good, still missing home but sounding like he was getting used to this Navy life.  I hung up wondering if Mom would ever get used to the Navy life.

The final weeks until pass in review, we received more letters. Missed one phone call, we were camping Labor Day weekend, and did not have service.  I was heartbroken, but he called his grandparents and talked to them.  My Mother in law tried to relay the phone call, but it was not the same.  When we arrived back from camping, I sent him the longest letter, apologizing for missing his call, I felt guilty that we were out having a good time and he knew it.  His letter back was “Mom, its fine, it was good to talk to Grandma.  When is the hunt?  I miss and love you” It helped me feel a little bit better but not much. From that day forward until his graduation I made sure, I was always in a place of cellular service.

“Mom, I’m an official US Sailor”, that phone call occurred during a business lunch, I knew it was any day I’d be receiving that phone call so my phone never left my side and I warned my colleagues I would be excusing myself from any meeting, conference call or business lunch to take the call.  I did just that.  Sitting there listening to him tell me he passed and would be graduating was a sigh of relief, and then I said to him wow that flew by!  At that point, in time those long eight weeks seemed to have been over so quick, I said a thankful prayer, expressed how proud I was of him and could not wait to see him.  It was a big Mom moment for me. 

The week until Pass in Review was probably the longest week, I just wanted to be in Great Lakes seeing my boy!  The day had finally came, there we were, my husband, mother in law, and father in law sitting waiting which seemed like forever.  You have to get there early to get decent seats, so it was a wait.  Then ceremonies started, and then the moment every person in the ceremony hall was waiting for….the huge white garage doors slowly start coming up, you see these sailors feet’s marching, everyone starts cheering, Moms and Grandmas start crying.   I start crying, I have not even seen him yet, but I know one of those marching is my boy.  In they come by division, people in the crowd are pointing, waving, clapping, and crying.  The sailors are not missing a beat marching to formation, eyes ahead.  Then the moment comes, I see him!  It is him, but it is a grown him, I gasp and start crying more.  I cannot take my eyes off him, he’s no longer the tall skinny kids that I watched get on the plane.  He is a filled out young man.  “Does he see us? “.  His eyes straightforward never indicating if he seen us or not.  The remainder of the ceremony was beautiful but I was anxious, I just wanted to hear them call out “Liberty Leave”.   Finally that moment came, “Now hear this, now hear this….Liberty Leave”  I bolted down the bleachers, losing him in the crowd franticly looking for him again, he found me with a hug.  A hug I have not had from him since he was little, I lost it, and I broke down crying. Telling him how happy I was, how proud I was, how much I loved him.

When he started this journey, I didn’t expect it to be so hard for me too by the end of basic I didn’t expect to be all Navy all day every day, the pride I have to tell anyone who will listen that my son is a Untied States Navy Sailor will never grow old.  I never realized how precious a letter could be, a phone call, and an “I love you Mom”.  He used to tell his family “ditto” when we said we loved him, but now he says “love you too” and sometimes he initiates the “I love you”.  “Ditto” is still something we share, but hearing the words “I love you” is priceless.

The Navy has changed my son; he is stronger, confident, disciplined, successful and happy.  The Navy has changed our family; we are closer, supportive and lean on each other.  We cherish simple things like handwritten letters, brief phone calls, and brief visits with those we love.  We are prideful, patriotic and support our sailor 110%.  We now wear prideful Navy gear, buy everything with an anchor on it, and share our text, emails, skype, or phone calls we have had with our sailor.  

[Leach73]

Mandy - beautifully said.

sounds a lot like my story but my Sailor is my daughter.

so proud of her! your son and all of our Sailors!

Go Navy!

Hooyah!!

[Doc Momma]

Tears... You just brought it all back for me. :)

[momofnm]

I feel so crazy crying at my desk reading this.  My son has not even left yet (Nov. 10th) and I already know that you just described every feeling I am going to have.

[Texasmom]

A great read!! My story!! My heart and tears and excitement!! Thank you for writing OUR story!!!!

[Mandy]

Thanks everyone it was a bit scattered thoughts but you all know the feeling (or soon will).  :) 

[amanda]

I love this blog! Bring tears to my eyes.i can relate so much! Thanks for sharing!!!