Divorce while overseas

[Mazy]

My son is currently deployed.   His wfie was staying back with me and other family members the past 4 months.  Unfortunately, she started an affair a month ago and she has admitted it to my son.  My son is devastated and understandable angry.   On top of the misery, she has never worked and has no source of income, but she withdrew all but a few dollars from their account.    My son wants a divorce and won't be back from deployment for several months.  Right now I am trying to help him keep his accounts safe with POA.   Do any of you have any advice from your own kids on serving papers or the procedure of the Navy Legal department?    He tells me he has no where to get answers on the ship.   So sad for them to hit him while he is out at sea.... my heart breaks for him.       

[TexasMomof2]

Aye yi yi yi.........so sorry to hear this.....just talked to my son who was on one of the ships for a couple of years.  He says that his Chief......legal....and the Chaplain are places he can go.   When they're on deployment, they are like their own community and have resources on board to help them out with situations.  He just might not feel comfortable in sharing it BUTTTT this is why these resources are there so tell him to hold his head up and go for it.

[Anti M]

While legal on the ship can give him advice, divorce is a civilian matter which must be handled through the state.  Look up your local county clerk and ask for a handbook/information on divorces in your area.  If the wife is willing to file for divorce also, she can initiate the paperwork.  It can take up to a year to go through. 

 

Best of luck.  I got divorced overseas, and at the time, I had to fly to California to file the paperwork (yes, I fudged the citizenship requirement a bit), and even then, I had to have Navy legal on my ex's ship lean on him to sign.  He thought staying married to me for life would be wonderful punishment for wanting to divorce. 

[BunkerQB]

1. Find a decent family law specialist asap and file those separation papers immediately and start the ball rolling.Where is she living?  I believe the papers should be filed where she is residing but will find out for you tomorrow.

2. Get this divorce done ASAP - the faster it's done, the less money she will take.

3. As soon as she figures out that she has to work, she'll try to worm her way back. He should say, "It's best for us to go our separate ways."

4. If he meets another person, tell him to avoid the temptation to tell wife - it'll just make her want to hang on.

[BunkerQB]

Just re-read and realized she lives in same town as you - start those calls in the morning.

[navy25]

Mazy, my heart goes out to your son as well as to you saying prayers for him to be able to resolve this mess as soon as possible before SHE can do anymore damage some of these women are Unreal so sorry.The Best of Luck

[Mazy]

Thank you all for your comments.   To BunkerQB, is there a difference between a family law specialist and a regular attorney that handles divorce?   She has now gone to stay with her father in St Louis so do you know the options with serving her material with her now not being in Iowa?   Yesterday with the POA he sent me, I was able to close his bank accounts and open a new ones she will not have access to for any new deposits.  He is trying to get a hold of credit bureaus to assure they show fraud if any new credit cards or debt is opened under his name.  He has a motorcycle and stuff in storage in San Diego that she also has holding hostage over all his money and car she has by saying she plans to go get that stuff before he gets back.    Thanks to all - it is good to know he has the concerns and prayers of so many others. 

[Anti M]

One thing, if he is receiving BAH for her, he must give it to her, or that is fraud.  She must provide her current address and receive the BAH for that location or it is fraud.  The Navy may take it all back if he is keeping it, also she can lay claim to half his base pay. He must support her to a certain degree or the Navy will come down on him like a ton of bricks. He must talk to legal about his financial obligations while they are still married, whether they are separating or not.

 

And I'd be sure she doesn't know what is posted here.

[Mazy]

Ok, this is probably a stupid question, but I am feeling so helpless to try to help my son, I'm going to ask.   My son doesn't know what his state of residency is??   He joined the Navy in March of 2009 (before that his residency was my home).   He has been stationed in San Diego since Sept 2010, deployed since Feb 2011.  However, he says he never filed for any California legal documentation while there (like a Driver's license, plates, etc.), so who does he ask what his current residency is?   If it is deemed that California is his residency and his wife didn't move back here until March, does that whether it is her or him, the dissolution of marriage would need to be filed in California?  I called my county courthouse and they thought I was insane when I said my son didn't know.    THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE DETAILS

!  

[TexasMomof2]

That isn't a stupid question......I'd call the district clerk of the county in California where they lived since September.  The person who thought you're insane at your County Courthouse isn't professional and were out-of-line in their response, or lack of response, to you........

[BunkerQB]

Will be back later regarding where. If filing is in SD, I have a name of family specialist for you. She handle my nephew's divorce.