Feeling Overwhelmed but yet so Proud and Elated.

[Flo'sMom]

As a mom with 5 kids with all but one grown up and over the age of 18 it was a shock for my youngest daughter (#4 of the 5 kids) to tell me at the beginning of her senior year that she was joining the Navy.  I felt fear and pride at the same time.  It was not difficult to accept her choice to join the Navy it was difficult to accept that she would be gone from where I could be actively involved in her day to day life.  Her Dad and I divorced almost 6 years ago and she chose to live with her Dad but we are still very close.  with her being 18 I now consider her one of my 3 best friends.  The other two being her two older sisters.  We all share clothes, shoes, stories and tears.  It was like losing a part of myself when I had to walk out of the Denver MEP's office and know that she was getting on a plane in a few hours where she would literal fly away from my.

My biggest goal in life has been to raise children who would grow up and make a difference in peoples lives and they have all done that but my older 3 children stayed in the same state and I can see and talk with them whenever I want to.  I am so proud of her choice to serve in our military and have always had such respect for those people and their families who sacrifice so much for our freedom but at the same time I almost wish that she had chosen a different path.  It is selfish and as soon as I think it I dismiss it and remind myself that she is following her dream just as I have chosen to follow my dream. 

She has now been gone for almost 3 weeks.  Time is alternating between racing by and seeming to stand still.  Plans for PIR are being finalized and plans for time in Florida with her during her A-school are being set so I can see her around her birthday and just be close to her. 

Thankful that I have a job that will allow me the freedom to visit her there and where ever she may be stationed in the future.  I am also thankful for a man who stands beside me and is supportive.  He lets me cry on his shoulder when I miss her, he reminds of all that she will learn and how much she will grow with this experience and he brings me back to earth when I start thinking of any number of things that could go wrong and reminds me not to borrow trouble but to be strong as she is being.

I am torn with watching my other children adjust to her being gone and helping them to understand it.  But I will remain forever strong and I refuse to cry in front of them or her since Mom has always been the strong one and if my cries there must be something very wrong.

I pray for the safety of all in uniform and send blessings to each and every one and their families as I understand as I never did before the sacrifice that is being made on a daily basis.