Feeling very overwhelmed

[DisneyDebi (02/903)]

 

I just signed up for this and I thought it would be helpful, and on an intellectual level, it has been, but emotionally, I am so overwhelmed by all the things I didn't know.  And more so by the things I know I still have no idea about.

 

My son leaves on Monday for GL and while I'm so excited, I'm so sad.  I've been reading about "The Box" and all the things that get sent home and smelling his clothes and crying and I think to myself, What has he gotten me into??

 

I have so many pieces of conflicting info...like the Navy says to send his banking account info and his ATM card and stamps and writing supplies and money and an address book, etc. but some of the posts I've read say that all that comes back.  Can I send him a phone card?  Will he be allowed to keep his very very small wallet which hold his drivers license?

 

I know every single person has felt this way, I know I'm not the first, I know I'm not the saddest, but boy, do I feel like all those things.  My heart is breaking because I'll miss him.

 

Thanks for allowing me to vent.

[BunkerQB]

One more thing, then I really have to go.

DisneyDebi, you wrote

Wow -- can't explain how good it feels to have this kind of connection with people I've never met, probably never will meet, but are sharing such a monumental experience with me!

WRONG. A & J's mom (abby) is coming out from Oklahoma to meet me for the first time. We met here on Navy 4 Moms when we both jumped in as creator/admins for the New Moms Stop Here group (lots of good reference info there). We are having a meet and greet on Sunday Oct 9. If you are in the San Francisco Bay Area, join us.

Here is the link to RSVP.

http://www.navyformoms.com/events/south-bay-brunch-san-francisco-ba...

BTW, photo on left is from our meet and greet 2 years ago - over 20 people were there.

[Aaron's mom]

My son graduates this Friday, 10/7. I thought this week would never get here! At first, I cried...a lot! But it will get better for you. When the box arrived, I did not give it a sniff because I could tell it was just stinky dirty clothes. I do keep his Old Spice in the bathroom and I do smell it often. That gives me comfort. After a few weeks when letters start arriving, you will feel so much relief. The first couple of letters were hard because he was absolutely miserable. The moms on this site had warned me of those tough letters. They also told me how I would notice the tone changes over time. Low and behold, my SR sounds so much better, stronger in his letters. We have only had two calls other than the "I'm here" call. The first one was 40 minutes and I was the strong one. He told me how he never expected to be so homesick. The Navy experience makes you all the more appreciated. The second call was an hour. He was much happier. It really is a growing up experience for them. Stay connected to this site. These moms are AMAZING! You will make, momma! Another mom once said, "If my son can do boot camp, I can do Navy mom". Best of luck.

[BunkerQB]

Good friends are hard to come by. :)

To our newbie moms, having friends who understand is worth it's weigh in gold. We can bitch and they all know that it's MOM BITCHING - our way of coping, venting. We could be SOOOO mad at them but as soon as they call, it's "Hi sweetie, I missed you so much." yaddy, yaddy, yaddy.  LOL.

[CareBearWI (ship04 div803)]

DisneyDebi,  Your original blog are all the same things I am feeling.  We take our son today to Oshkosh where he will meet up with others to head to MEPS; then on to basic training tomorrow.  I have been trying to hold it together, but have my moments.  I, too, have found so much on this site to be helpful; everything is new to us so it's hard to know what to expect. 

 

 

[codysmom_ship02div951]

Debi, I am a current bootcamp mom. My son has been gone for 26 days. I was freaking out just like you which is completely justifiable. Everyone told me "get used to it" and "thats the military, they do what they want". That just irritated me more because dammit..I brought this child into the world. He is MINE!! lol.... I can only offer a few words of experience...and that is this...my son arrived in GL on 9/7. The call came in around 11:30pm. He called me from his cell phone to tell me he was there and woul write me soon. The call lasted about 30 seconds. Then about a week later I recieved his box...I cried just looking at the box. Teary eyed I picked up his shirt out of the box to smell it and started to laugh. I thought...he managed to send me a box of stinky (thanks to his sneakers)clothes..Im still doing his laundry and hes not here. lol...SO I survived the dreaded box. I recieved his form letter a couple of days later. He was able to write about 4 sentences on the back. Made me feel great!!I never knew 4 sentences could make me happy. Then I went 2 weeks with nothing..no calls..no letters..0. I had a very hard time. I wrote him lots of encouraging letters. I kept and continue to do so keep my feelings out of it other thN i am proud and I love him. He finally called me the other day. I got 30 minutes on the phone. They kind of break us down as they are breaking our kids down. We learn to adjust and basically take what we can get. You will be ok. You need to surround yourself with Navy4moms and Facebooks US Navy Recruit Training Command page. You can win contests twice a week to get a pic of your division. . Im not gonna tell you its easy...but be strong for your child. He needs to go there knowing that you will be ok. :) If you ever need to talk or just vent...feel free to message me :) Hang in there momma

[SRMCmom]

Hi DisneyDebi,

I have been right where you are three weeks ago. I missed my son so much it physically hurt. Got the box about 10 days after he left and everything came back in that box except his wallet and a small address book. Then I waited and waited for that letter. Got two letters together this past weekend and a CALL tonight that lasted almost an hour long! I don't know about the other moms, but when I received his letters something just clicked and I knew he was OK. His call tonight reinforced my feelings. The best thing to do is to keep busy with anything and everything until you hear from him.

[ABH Mom (Tiffani)]

DisneyDebi, my son left last Thursday for BC, been a crazy few days for us.  His fiance got "the box" today and she didn't want to open it but another mom said she better or it will be smelling pretty bad soon.  :-)  I absolutely love this site, I have had so many questions answered (sometimes without even asking).  Also nice to meet other moms that are going through the same stage I am or some that have already been through it and are pro's at it. 

[heathernavymom]

my son just finished bc now he is in florida but while he was in bc I cried for 8 weeks my coworkers and friends tried to understand but being here helped me. 4weeks finally got a call that was hard it came about 3pm central time I was at work on the phone and hung up on a customer. Good thing my boss understood. Well just wanted to say it does get better after bc I still hug his pillow I refuse to wash.lol read all u can look up info every place u can and feel free to send me a message and ask anything..I will answer what I can.

[KarenF (Ship 04/Div822)]

DisneyDebi;

Yes it is going to be very hard but you and your son will get through with flying colors.  The ladies here have given you great advice. Don't send the phone card with him. Mail it to him the first week or so. Also, prepare yourself for his letters. While you are desperate for them, it is hard to read what he is going through. The first 2 weeks are really tough for them and demoralizing. Expect a letter around the 3rd week. I knew that my son had turned the corner when his letter made me laugh out loud, but it was the 3rd letter. Also, they start feeling a comraderie with the other SRs. They suffer together, get praised together, get yelled at together. They find moments to pull each other through, even if it is a smirk when the chiefs are not looking. I have now met on fb my son's bunkmate's mom. We are thankful that our boys are helping each other get through. Her son told her that he and my son are like brothers now, because they have seen each other's tears. The have a count down to PIR calender and each night after they make it through another day, they have a "mini celebration" when they cross it off the calender. All ways of coping for them, and your son will find ways too and he will not be alone. Be strong for him and yourself. It is going to be a worthwhile journey.

 

[DisneyDebi (02/903)]

@KarenF - Thank you so much!  I can't even tell you how much your words mean to me.  You are right, I've received a lot of good advice and kind supportive words and its help immensely :)  and Thank you for sharing your experiences with your son and his bunkmate.  I pray that my son will connect with someone (or more than one someone) and make some life long friends and find a support system to keep him up through the tough days.