I love you, and Good bye

[hsmith415]

Once again I sit on the bed watching him pack everything up

Watching him shave all of his hair off his face and head,

Watching the uniform whites be pressed by the iron readying them for what comes the next day,

Watching everything fly bye, time, moments, kisses, I love yous,

Yes we can talk but it’s not the same as waking up in his arms or going to sleep in them

People say it will go by fast it’s not true if anything time moves slower,

As I sit here knowing what is to come tomorrow, good bye, I love you , please be safe and come home soon but most of all the tears of ill miss you and I’m scared, but that’s tomorrow right,

As I sit here making sure he has everything and asking him one last time do you have everything hoping he really doesn’t because that means there would be a chance of him to not leave, but deep down I know the time has come.

I am a proud navy wife, friend, and lover because I know what he does is so important for me and this country.

Does it mean I like everything that comes with the navy sailor title no.

Who would like packing there husband to leave for long periods of time not knowing what he is doing, or if he’s okay.

But again I sit here watching him, supporting him.

Knowing that those little jokes throughout the week aren’t really true, saying that’s one thing I won’t miss are your stinky feet, or smelly farts, or him picking on me.

The truth I’ll miss everything about him every little thing.

As he stands in the doorway with his hands full and his eyes scanning the room making sure he didn’t forget anything I sit on the bed wishing that this was just a dream and I’ll wake up and I’ll still be in his arms.

But I know better.

So I take a big breath and push down the tears for just a little more. realize this is going to happen weather I like it or not and go help pack those ugly green sea bags that I hate so much, because of the meaning they have every time they are pulled out.

I rub my hand on my husband’s back and give him a kiss on the lips because right now everyone counts.

Turn on the music to fill the silence for when we stop talking and realize how much were going to miss each other and get him ready for his flight tomorrow.

It’s not easy being a military wife but if I had to do it all over again I would in a heartbeat, because he is the love of my life, my soul mate and partner in crime.

Well that is everything; it’s all packed and ready,

Now we cherish every moment we have left together until 7am tomorrow morning when I bring him to the airport to say our good bye.

As the day comes to a close and bed time is here I think to myself why would I sleep if these are our last hours together.

As he cuddles into me for one last night, I lay there thinking of every other night to come.

The bed will be bigger and have more room, its funny when I sit here and think about all the times I yelled at him for taking up the whole bed at night.

But the now it’s bigger, empty, and cold without his warm body in it.

But the thought moves out of my head when I look over at him sleeping, he’s so peaceful right now, and his snoring fills the silence within the room, that’s another thing I’ll miss.

As the night moves on I think of how tomorrow will be, do I walk him into the airport? Because I know if I do ill never let him on that plan, or do I drop him off just outside the doors and watch him walk away from me.

It’s not supposed to be easy, that why they say the military wife is the toughest job in the navy.

We love them, and protect them for as long as we can until they call for them once again.

Then I think about all the fun packages I can send him and the loving letters that’s 5 pages long so he knows I’m here for him, waiting for his return home.

I look over at him and tears run down my cheek, I try to push them down and not cry because I don’t want to wake him.

I know this is his last night of freedom.

Last night in a comfy bed, because the one he will have next is small and stiff like a two by four.

So tonight Ill push down the tears, so he can sleep like an angel one last time.

Finally tomorrow is here, we scan the house one last time to make sure he has everything.

I help him put on his uniform whites, and tell him he looks so sexy in them just to bring one more smile to his face.

We load up those ugly green sea bags that I hate so much and were off to the airport.

As we drive I try to be strong, I try to fight the tears that are welling up in my eyes and think to myself not yet, come on just not yet.

As we pull up to the airport doors and understand why I can only drop him off and not go inside.

I pull the bags from the car and hand them over to him, that’s, that’s when it hits this is good bye and come home soon.

This is the breaking point, what I tried so hard not to do, so hard at fighting those tears back but they run down my face like a rushing waterfall.

I tell him I love him with all my heart and can’t wait for the day I can pick him up and bring him home again.

One last kiss.

One last hug.

One last good bye, and I love you so much

He checks himself over and walks away ,into the doors and he disappears.

The tears keep falling as I pull away, thinking to myself it will be okay.

As I find a parking lot next to the airport, I put the car in park.

I know his flight will be leaving soon so I sit and watch until his plan takes off.

The drive home is filled with silence even though the radio is on, tears keep rolling down my face,

I think to myself once again it will be okay.

Home again there I sit it’s silent, cold and empty.

As I lay myself down in bed I find myself clinging to the phone and waiting until I hear his sweet voice say I love and I’ll be home soon.

By Heather Lee Smith