This site is for mothers of kids in the U.S. Navy and for Moms who have questions about Navy life for their kids.



Choose your Username.  For the privacy and safety of you and/or your sailor, NO LAST NAMES ARE ALLOWED, even if your last name differs from that of your sailor (please make sure your URL address does not include your last name either).  Also, please do not include your email address in your user name. Go to "Settings" above to set your Username.  While there, complete your Profile so you can post and share photos and videos of your Sailor and share stories with other moms!

Make sure to read our Community Guidelines and this Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist - loose lips sink ships!

Join groups!  Browse for groups for your PIR date, your sailor's occupational specialty, "A" school, assigned ship, homeport city, your own city or state, and a myriad of other interests. Jump in and introduce yourself!  Start making friends that can last a lifetime.

Link to Navy Speak - Navy Terms & Acronyms: Navy Speak

All Hands Magazine's full length documentary "Making a Sailor": This video follows four recruits through Boot Camp in the spring of 2018 who were assigned to DIV 229, an integrated division, which had PIR on 05/25/2018. 

Boot Camp: Making a Sailor (Full Length Documentary - 2018)

Boot Camp: Behind the Scenes at RTC

...and visit - America's Navy and also Navy Live - The Official Blog of the Navy to learn more.

OPSEC - Navy Operations Security

Always keep Navy Operations Security in mind.  In the Navy, it's essential to remember that "loose lips sink ships."  OPSEC is everyone's responsibility. 

DON'T post critical information including future destinations or ports of call; future operations, exercises or missions; deployment or homecoming dates.  

DO be smart, use your head, always think OPSEC when using texts, email, phone, and social media, and watch this video: "Importance of Navy OPSEC."

Follow this link for OPSEC Guidelines:



**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed.  Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.

**UPDATE as of 11/10/2022 PIR vaccination is no longer required.

**UPDATE 7/29/2021** You now must be fully vaccinated in order to attend PIR:

In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).  


RTC Graduation

**UPDATE 8/25/2022 - MASK MANDATE IS LIFTED.  Vaccinations still required.

**UPDATE 11/10/22 PIR - Vaccinations no longer required.


Please note! Changes to this guide happened in October 2017. Tickets are now issued for all guests, and all guests must have a ticket to enter base. A separate parking pass is no longer needed to drive on to base for parking.

Please see changes to attending PIR in the PAGES column. The PAGES are located under the member icons on the right side.

Format Downloads:

Navy Speak

Click here to learn common Navy terms and acronyms!  (Hint:  When you can speak an entire sentence using only acronyms and one verb, you're truly a Navy mom.)

N4M Merchandise

Shirts, caps, mugs and more can be found at CafePress.

Please note: Profits generated in the production of this merchandise are not being awarded to the Navy or any of its suppliers. Any profit made is retained by CafePress. Para Familias

Visite esta página para explorar en su idioma las oportunidades de educación y carreras para sus hijos en el Navy.



If being able to express your emotions here helps you be more calm with your sailor recruit when he/she calls, then please by all means feel free to express yourself here. It is an open forum. I would suggest however that anyone who is overwrought take a step back, take a deep breath and find ways to get through the rough part now before that important call from your recruit comes in. The recruits are probably experiencing an endeavor that is beyond anything they have ever done in their young lives. They are probably lonely, terrified, confused, may feel inferior, may feel inadequate, hoping they won't fail (so they won't be sent home), hoping they would fail (so they would be sent home), ambivalent about their decision and much more.....  all this in the company of many equally baffled young men and women with no sleep and someone yelling in your face all day long.

You, moms don't have to apologize for being emotional. It is OK. Whether the child is 17, 23 or 27 as a mom (or dad), there will always be a part of you that will worry.  Some of us worry less, some more. Some of us keep it in check better than others. That is OK.When you recruit calls, ask him to describe something that he liked about BC. Ask him about the positives. Remind him that you have read in your trusty N4M site that the first 2 weeks is just the most god awful thing on the planet. If he has made it through a week, say "Look you are half way through the very worst part, it's going to get better from this point on."  I read many statements like, "I know this is the best thing for him. I am so proud of him." Come on moms, you know your child, you know what you need to say to give him encouragement, to help him confirm within himself that he has made the right choice. You want to smell his clothes to feel closer to him again, that is fine; but do not tell your recruit that right now - they wouldn't know how to wrap their minds around that vision (I am assuming here that you have not done that before). Between us moms, we understand the need.

New moms, this is just a gentle reminder that you have to put on a good face, be encouraging when he cries on the phone (and wails that he wants to come home), be supportive, be positive. He needs to know that you can let him go (and will always be there for him/her). YOU MUST NEVER LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A BROKEN HEART AND WOULD LOVE TO HAVE HIM HOME SLEEPING IN HIS OLD BED.

I have used masculine gender for simplicity.

Some suggestions for getting through this:

  1. Do not neglect you family. Some of you mention having younger kids who are also having a hard time dealing with older brother/sister leaving the family for the first time.  Spend extra time with the remaining kids at home. They need it.
  2. Do not neglect your spouse/significant other. Share you experience. Find a new outlet for your loneliness. You husband will try to be strong - remember he too is probably missing your recruit and some just won't talk about it. You may have to pull it out of them.
  3. Do not neglect yourself. This is the time to think of the next chapter in your life. If you are going to be an emptynester, start evaluating your life (in hindsight and going forward), rearrange you house, get those papers in order, find a part time job, start a scrapebook, learn a new craft (quilting, sewing, playing an instrument) .. anything
  4. Develop standard "responses"   as you go through being a part of the military family, you will encounter stupid comments from people - develop phrases that you can use to divert the topic, answer in such a way to discourage further discussion.
  5. Find other Navy moms in your lcoal area - for a meet and greet, coffee, lunch.  It will make you more sane.
  6. If you are getting too involved with this site and think you have gotten addicted - don't turn on the computer every spare moment - turn it on just several times a day with time limits.
  7. Stick with the reason why this site exist - to give support or get support for those involved in the Navy.  This means if the subject matter starts to wonder outside of why you are here, take a step back.  You don't have to read about every detail about everyone else. You are naturally going to become good friends with a few on this site. And this is good. But you don't have to be involved with everyone and everyone's business. A few tend to disclose way too much about their personal lives.  Remember your recruit may be reading this, so be discreet.
  8. Be open minded when you read responses to your blogs, in your discussions.  I truly do not believe any one here is trying to be mean.  I know a few of us (I include myself here) tend to be more methodical in nature and are borne problem solvers. We are more at home when presented with a problem because we can roll our sleeves up and find the solution and get the job done.  Others are more emotionally based and are more feel better when they can share their frustrations, hurts, joys with others.  That is OK too.  The bottom line is life is in reality emotionally based - just in varying degrees. I firmly believe that we can all benefit from each others differences. 
  9. New moms, you have an obligation to be pro-active in becoming informed. The experience moms who are here on a day in and day out bases are just moms like you with disappointments, hurts, problems of their own. Please take a few minutes to acknowledge their contributions, their giving of their time, energy, knowledge and efforts. When we post a link or a suggestion, please take the time to follow up (whether this is a question posted by you or someone else). If you just surf the discussion groups and the blogs you will gain a truckload of information. It really is all here.
  10. Please come back and pay it forward. This is a volunteer site. It exist because of unpaid volunteers who have  devoted long hours here. Some of us are winding down and transitioning to a more passive role in the background. My sailor commitment ends next month - I have been given orders to cease and desist - LOL well, I'll have to sneak in my computer session on N4Ms.
P.S. I have sons, 27 and 23 - I have been through this ups and downs a few times. Trust me, ladies.

Views: 983

Comment by BunkerQB on February 6, 2012 at 3:11am

I didn't bother to proof read. It is what it is. :)  ^_^

Comment by BunkerQB on February 6, 2012 at 1:00pm

Good morning all. Still recovering from cold. Gotten very lazy ...  God, my English is atrocious ..

Hmmmmmmm ...  we may have to have an "old timers" group. I will continue to help with the San Fran group, the New Members Stop Here group. I'll keep working on the Survival Guide and updating the lists for PIR and Ships. As for contributing elsewhere - I don't think my comments will be a accurate or meaningful if I didn't have an active duty sailor.

Comment by Bandito's Mom on February 9, 2012 at 11:36am

I think you will definitely have an oldtimers group.  Maybe a play on the DEPS group, instead of In but not Gone, should be Out but not Gone.... you get the picture.  But I do understand moving on.  When my Sailor was going through BC, I was addicted to that site along with the PIR site.  Now, I rarely visit because I don't want to be in that raw emotional state again.  I don't know how to help from a looking back perspective because I have a need to move forward.  Yet I appreciate every single Mom who can do that and did give me hope and sanity during BC.  I am trying to say I understand why you would want to move on and not be so immersed in N4M when your Sailor is no longer active.  But there will be a giant hole and you all would be sorely missed if you didn't visit.  Thank you for everything that you have done and continue to do.

Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on February 11, 2012 at 5:58pm

LOVE it Bea! I'm just into the first year on here...great advice!

Comment by Teresa(Ryan's mom) on February 17, 2012 at 10:15pm

Thanks so much for your encouraging words.  My son is leaving in 2 months and I feel like my heart is being torn out and he is not even gone yet :(


Comment by BunkerQB on February 21, 2012 at 5:27am

Teresac66, don't hesitate to track me down if you have any questions. We all have been in your shoes. Just lean on us. OK?  My son is coming home for good in less than 30 days to start a new life w/o the Navy. It is going to be really weird. Hey, if you get a chance, come to the meet and greet in Vacaville area on March 11 - more info to come - check in on the San Francisco Bay area group page.

Comment by CheleMarie on February 21, 2012 at 9:59pm

Thanks for your wisdom!

Comment by Lola on January 14, 2018 at 4:23pm

We are an Air Force family retired.  Now our baby daughter has decided to get married and join the Navy. Wow this momma is having all kinds of emotion I’m writing her continuously, when I was in Basic (AF) I love reading my mail.  I’m looking for comfort; now our daughter is in the Navy. She is strong like her Dad but this is a big change for our family and trying to familiarize our selves with our new Navy family. Where are you taking my girl after BC?? LOL 3/2/18

Comment by BunkerQB on January 15, 2018 at 11:23pm

Lola, when is (was) her PIR? If you haven’t done so, joihn the Navy For Moms group formed specifically to support families with loved ones who all hav3 the same PIR date. Is there a BLUE Star group in your local area? 

Comment by BunkerQB on January 15, 2018 at 11:27pm

By the way, there is a strong group with members from a Texas. You should join that and post a comment asking who lives in your city/area. Here in San Fran Bay, CA we have a strong group. Not as active recently but we have had many meet and greets at local restaurants or someone’s home. Reach out.


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