Mom to Navy

[amber20]

My name is Amber. I've decided to join the navy. I have a son and I was wondering
how it was being in bootcamp and school knowing you have a child at home. I know
it will be hard but I am determined to get through this. My main goal is to be able to
provide the life my parents couldn't give me. My son is 2 years old. I was worried that
He wouldn't remember me also. Or I would get used to not having him around &
vice versa and we both have to adjust again. I don't want to be away so long that I get
used to being on my own that I don't want to be a mother anymore, though I doubt
that will happen. Another thing, I hear that after giving up custody of your child you
can't get back custody is that true? & I want to know if I will be able to have him with
me once they send me to wherever. Anybody who has been in this situation please
help me. Is it really hard getting through bootcamp while having the thought of missing
your child on your brain everyday?

[amber20]

Well in the end after bootcamp & school he will b able to b with me
& in the end i will be able to provide him eith a much better life.
My reason for even wanting to join is because i dont have
A job & ive been trying to get one for the longest i hate depending on
Other ppl to do for me & my son. He deserves better. I don't
Want us to have to struggle when there are opportunities out here
That i can take. Plus i feel as though i am more immiture
And dependent on my family than i would like to be & i appreciate
You guys but i wantedto know what it was like being a mom in the navy too.

[BunkerQB]

This subject has been addressed with various scenarios. Please read the following forum discussions.

I admire your making a decision to better yourself and provide a life for your son. Have you consider trying to get a scholarship or some assistance with tuition and start taking some classes at a community college. Just one class at a time. Learn all you can - in a classroom, from individuals, on the internet, read books, newspapers. Don't ever stop learning. Families are there for each other. You shouldn't feel guilty if your parents are helping you. That is what a parent is suppose to do. You will be a good example for your son. Good luck.

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/confused-and-in-need-of?id=...

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/single-mother-wanting-to

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/im-thinking-about-joining-but

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/care-for-baby-while-dtr-is-in

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/i-am-a-mom-going-into-the-n...

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/thinking-about-joining-the-2

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/thinking-about-joining-help

[amber20]

Thanks everybody & thanks for letting me know that i asked a
Recruiter about that and he said my son would be able to stay
with me but i think he lied.

[Vickyrun]

Amber20,

I can share what happen to my daughter, who joined the Navy 2 years ago as a single Mom for the same reasons. She gave custody to her ex, he and the new step-mother are raising my grandson. And she sends him child support. He was 2 when she left and he is now 4 years old. He is a happy well-adjusted little boy. He calls his step-mother "Mommy" and his mother "Mama". 

My daughter misses her son very much every day and it has been much harder then she thougth it would be. She only sees her son twice a year when she gets leave. Some single Moms do get custody of the child during A school and shore duties.  But you have to have a family plan where a grandparent, parent/guardian can pick up the child within 48 hours if you are deployed. 

If you join the Navy your career will have to come first before your family. I am very proud of my daughter, she likes the Navy and is doing very well.

[amber20]

Thanks I didn't really know that so that's good to know I want to go into this
Knowing exactly what I'm getting into. These recruiters leave out a lot of info
And I would have went thinking I could have my son with me and find out that
I can't. But I hope that I enjoy this experience and pray that my son sees that I
Did this for us to have a better life, well when he gets old enough to understand it all.

[Anti M]

The recruiters often are not single parents and are unfamiliar with the details.  I think we're better informed on this board than some of the people trying to sign you up!

[amber20]

Lol yea i said the same thing

[Vickyrun]

That is true. All recruiters give the standard "you can have custody casue single parents aren't' deployable. But when my daughter got to Great Lakes she found out there are instances when you can have your child. However in her case the ex would not give custody back to her. He claimed the miltary life would be unstable.  

[amber20]

Oh cool well I'm definitely gonna have to find out what I will have to
Do to have my son with me. I'm guessing whomever I give custody of
My son to will have to say its ok for me to have custody back and I
Don't think that would be a problem but I will find out exactly what will
Need to be done before I get my hopes up but what about that whole
Fraudulent enlisting thing if you try to get back custody...or something like
That I've seen many people talk about on here.