My boyfriend leaves April 4th for BC

[Z's girl]

I'm new to this so I'm not sure what all I am supposed to write but my boyfriend leaves for BC on April 4th.  We have known now for about six months so I have had time to let it settle in.  I have read a lot of the different post and it worries me because so many don't receive a letter for almost a month.  My boyfriend is 29 and he is older compared to a lot of the diff ones I have read about.  I really feel like I am going to be okay while he is gone.  I know it will be hard but I want him to see that I am good and will be strong while he is gone.  Does anyone have any advice on how to get thru this process?  He keeps telling me it's just 8 weeks not a lifetime! Also he said he will be going to Pensacola for A-school then probably Sea School? How long does that last and where is it? Thanks!

[SailorsWife'10]

Hello Z's girl. I see you wrote this a while ago and no one has responded. My husband went to BC in December and graduated with the 2/11/11 class, which was filled with 1,000 Sailors! I too thought I was going to be fine, because 8 weeks doesn't seem that bad. Until after I got home from dropping him off at the airport. I was sitting in my living room realizing that I was alone, absolutely alone for the next 8 weeks. Soon after that I got his "I'm here" phone call and it was about 20 seconds long and I could barely get a word in edge wise because I was crying so hard. I really didn't think it was going to be like that, I thought I was strong enough to get through it. About a week later I got another phone call from him, it's not a mandatory phone call and I definitely wasn't expecting it! When I answered to hear nothing on the other line, I was so scared I missed hearing his voice. I ran to make sure the 847 phone number that just called me was a Great Lakes area code, and it was. They let him use a different pay phone because the one he was on was messed up and of course by the time I heard his voice I was in tears already! Than... I finally found this site, that night. N4M's has helped me out in ways I didn't believe was possible. I have some really great friends who listen to me when I'm down, but never fully understood like the women on here. Soon after the holidays were over I was feeling fine. I only cried when I received his letters, but not because I was sad, because I was happy he was doing good! I never let him know I was dying at home some days, because I was worried he would worry about me. There's going to be days you get down, it happens to us all. N4M's is a great way out though. Once you find out when his graduation date is, find a group for his graduation on here. If there is none, make one! You'll find out everything you need to know, you'll have women to cry too and that will cry to you as well. One of the best things I loved about our graduation group was all of the women shared when they got letters and phone calls! So even if you didn't get something one day from your boyfriend, you find yourself getting very happy for the other women! My husband is 26, he was one of the older men in his division. He said because of that he got more respect from the RDC's so hopefully your boyfriend will too. My husband went to Pensacola as well, he's home for leave right now, than it's off to Norfolk VA tomorrow. That will be our duty station, hopefully I will be moving there soon! If you ever need anyone to talk to or have any questions you can certainly friend request me on here, or if you have facebook my profile has my facebook on it. I'm always eager to meet Navy wives/fiance's/girlfriends!

[annamichael]

Hi Z,

My boyfriend is also older - 24. He left for BC February 23rd. I received my first letter about 2 weeks after he left. Since then, I get them every Thursday or Friday (they can only mail out letters on Sunday). What will he be going to A school for? My SR (sailor recruit) will be going to Pensacola for IT. In his case, his A school is 16 weeks and his C school is 19 weeks. When Michael left in February, it was very hard to imagine not speaking to him every day. But I have been EXTREMELY lucky in the number of times I have talked to him. He needed tons of information about past jobs, references, his families information - all for clearance for his IT job. So, he called me each time he needed something, so we were able to speak then. The  last night we talked was March 17th. He has been cleared, so no more random phone calls :\.But I write him every day. DO THIS. It means SO much to them. They can only mail out letters on Sunday, but they can receive them ANY day and love it.

Advice I have for you:

1. Go through this site up and down, top to bottom, and inside and out! The people here are amazing and will answer any question you have. When he gets to GL, he will write you his address with his ship and division as well as his PIR date. Immediately join those groups! The ladies will help you with tons of questions. Join the Pensacola group. Join the PIR Information group.

2. STAY BUSY. (Everyone says it, and I didn't take them seriously, but it's true. My mind wonders the most when I'm driving to/from work. I always think of him the most then.

3. Write every day. Write about your day, sports scores, updates on fam (stay in connect with his, it means a lot), anything you can think of to make him feel "not so far away".

4. Prepare yourself for "the box". I had heard about "the box", but certainly did not prepare myself for it. As soon as he gets in GL, he will have to strip completely and put all his belongings in a box. My SR is very clever and decided to try and write a "secret" message on the inside of the box with the marker he was addressing it with. I loved it! It was very sad to go through all his things though. While going through the pockets on his jeans, I found a letter he had written me in the airport. Very sweet. Anyway, just know it will be coming about four days after he leaves.

5. Don't let him know you are upset or down. You have to remember, they are going through something that is changing them. It is much more traumatic than what we are having to go through.

 

Hope this helps. Keep in touch. :)

[Joosh-NavyMOM]

Annamicheal is so wright when she said DONT ever let your recruit know when you are upset or feeling down when you writing to them. I ALWAYS keep my letters up beat and positive!  A lot of the time I'm faking it but I know they are going through so much that it helps them to read positive letters from home without having anything negative written in them.  I try to ask a lot of "information" questions.  Example: Son, when you finally are able to write to me, think of everything I need to know to make your graduation go smooth for you, also do you want me to slow down on my daily letter righting so you can get more sleep since I know you don't get a lot of that, lol?  I also like to tell him funny things that happen at home that he was used to being involved in on a day by day basis.  Mostly I constantly tell him how proud I am of him and that I KNOW HE CAN MAKE IT ALL THE WAY through basic!  One of the most important thing I make a point to tell him is how much I have his back and that I love and miss him very much but also that I am keeping a positive attitude toward him being gone because I know he is on his way to a great life with much bigger and better things ahead of him!  He's only 17 but I'm sure it doesn't matter if your 17 or if you 30, it just feels really good to them to know they have 100% support from their loved ones!

 

Thanks for letting me talk, it helps!

[Z's girl]

Hey! Thanks so much for your info and ideas! You are so right about faking my letters being upbeat.  I have tried to send funny cards too! We got his letter yesterday telling about graduation and he wrote a little on the bottom of it.  It was so good just hear a little from him! I know we will get through all this but it's been a tough first couple of weeks!  Talking def helps! That is for sure!