one of the hardest thing i've gone through

[snow_flake04]

the night before he left i cuddled in his arm and cried as he explain to me how much he loves me and our little baby girl, who is now 3 months old, and he explained that this was the thing that could really help start our NEW family and this is why he has to leave. He spoke words of hope that when he comes back we will be able to start our new life and get a place for us to call our own. The next day when we went to drop him off i tried to fight back the tears because his parents were there and i always felt uncomfortable crying in front of people... but  as he hugged me i could no longer hold it in and just let my emotions get the best of me.... that night was a very lonley night for me. Although I am 19 years old i get scared sleeping by myself and before i had my little girl, before he moved in with me and my parents to help with the baby, in the middle of the night i would get scared and make a bed on the floor in my parents bedroom to sleep. the night he left i knew i would have to face my fears because i was a mother now and i would have to hold my own and be brave to protect my child. i sat up all night thinking about him and writting a long letter to him while i watched my daughter sleep... the next morning i woke up to my little girl's smiling face and almost forgot the fact that daddy was not around to wake up with us. after the first night i thought about what he is having to go through for our family that i decided i need to be stronger and focus my attention on taking care of my child and myself because that's what he would have wanted me to do, so i did just that. even though i tried my best there were nights when i felt so lonley and felt so much pain from missing him but i would wake up the next morning and brush it off and go on with my day because i knew there would be no use in moping around. Days went on as i waited for a reply letter to the many letters i have sent him but i was only confronted with disappointment. After over a week of not hearing anything from him, his mother called me asking if I got a letter in the mail because she had recieved one. I rushed to the mail box praying on my way there for a letter from the love of my life.... when i opened the mail box i was pleasantly surprised with 5 letters from him! I let grandma watch little amara while i read the letters alone in my room. the dates on these letters told me that he has been writting to me every chance he got because i knew they were only allowed to write on sundays but he had been sneek writting me almost every night. in the letters he talked about how much he missed me and the baby and asked how we were doing. From that day on my spirits were high and now we've made it through 6 weeks of NRTC and only two more weeks to go! i'm hoping to endure these last two weeks with a good mind set and see the love of my life at his PIR and be back in his arms again.fam.jpgkiss.jpglove.jpg

[CLAMOM]

Hang in there .....you and your baby girl will have a great life!!!

[TexasMomof2]

Awww, what a beautiful story and you're doing great!  You are almost there!  I love your photo - thank you for sharing!

[snow_flake04]

thank you all. well after IL he goes to mississippi for A school and we dont know what else after that.... well at least i dont know.