Our Navy Adventure Has Begun

[Velvetenor]

So much has happened in the last few weeks that I hardly know where to begin. I apologize for the long blog post, but this is actually very therapeutic for me to write here, and I hope that it might resonate with others who are feeling the same...

My son enlisted and entered into the Navy DEP in early September. Prior to this, he went to community college for 2 years, but didn't enjoy it, and decided over the summer that he might be better suited for the military. He scored exceptionally high on the ASVAB and was thrilled to rate in the Nuke program. My husband and I were happy for him because he was finally excited about his future, but we were apprehensive, too, as we had no idea what to expect from this change in his life path.

He had already been weight-lifting for months before enlisting, but my son spent his last Fall at home trying to reduce his 1.5M run time, since that was his biggest hurdle. In contrast, I spent my time reading everything that I could find about the Navy (and I joined this site) so that I could try and understand and accept this choice that he had made. I was still fearful - I didn't want to tell anyone about his decision, or post about it on Facebook, or anything. I think that I was still in denial - that maybe, if I didn't say it aloud, that it would never happen, and he would go back to college.

His ship date for bootcamp was Dec 4th - an awkward day, as we had plans to fly out to Orlando that same day for a brief trip to Disney World and then my cousin's wedding the following Saturday. I thought my son would surely decide not to go to bootcamp because he would not want to miss this special trip, but he shrugged and said "this is more important", so I cancelled his plane ticket, and changed our flight to occur later in the day so we could see him off.

Thanksgiving was the week before his ship-out date, and we knew he would not be home for Christmas, so I began busying myself with plans for an Open House party for family and friends on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and an early Christmas for us on that Sunday. I had to tell everyone about the choice that he had made to join the Navy, but then I had a lot to plan and do, so that kept me from thinking about him leaving, too.

At the same time, my daughter, who is a senior in high school, was trying to finish her college applications. She is looking to get a Bachelor's degree in the Health Sciences, and possibly go to Nursing school after graduation. So we were busy with all of that work, as well.

Then everything happened almost all at once - Thanksgiving, sending off the college applications, then the Open House party - where so many people came to wish him well - then "Christmas", which we celebrated exactly like always with him and his sister and opening stockings and presents early in the morning, and making a big Italian dinner that afternoon. Then it was Monday, and all of a sudden my son panicked. "What if I can't make the run time? What if I don't know what to do when I get there? What if I can't do this??"

That was the turning moment for me, because my son, who was always so sure of himself and this decision, had his moment of doubt, and I needed to step up and be confident for him. In that instant, I knew that he was going to do this thing - become a Navy sailor - and that he was going to be great at it. We spent the day together, just him and I, and slowly he got his confidence back and finished packing, as I slowly began to accept my son's decision.

He left home the next day, and I think it was a blessing in disguise that it all happened much faster than it should have. We thought the recruiter wouldn't come until early evening, but he showed up at 1:30 to take my son to the hotel near MEPS - before my daughter could even get home from school to say goodbye. The next morning we all went to MEPS bright and early to spend as much time with him as possible before he left, - thinking that we could have hours together - but his was the first (and only) group to swear in that day, so we had only 5 minutes to say goodbye and snap a few pictures before we were ushered out the door. It was crazy! We were done by 10:30 am, and our flight to FL wasn't until 6:30 pm!

My husband, who was so strong and secure with our son's decision the whole time, became a puddle of mush after he left. Any little thing would remind him of our son, and would start tearing up, which would start me and my daughter crying. I was convinced that we had all gone insane. We got to talk to my son a few times in the airports, but I started to realize that the "I'm here" call might happen while we were on our flight to Orlando, so my last words to him on the phone were to tell him to call his grandma, if he couldn't reach me on my phone.

Of course, that is what happened, so I didn't get to speak to him again that night. My mom got the call while we were on the plane, and she told me about it - that it was the 30 second scripted call, but he sounded good, and there was no yelling in the background, so I was relieved, even though I was so sad that I couldn't hear those scripted words myself.

Amazingly, my son did have the foresight to leave us a voice memo text before he got on the bus to GL. It is all of 9 seconds long, but he said that he his good, that he loves us, and that he is going to kick some a$$! I listen to that 9-second message every day.

Our Disney trip and family wedding did help keep me distracted for the first few days without him. But little things would trigger tears without warning - pictures of manatees at the Orlando airport (his favorite animal), smelling churros at the Disney parks (his favorite sweet snack), hearing the song "You'll Be in My Heart" from the Disney movie Tarzan at my cousin's wedding, and also watching the mother-son dance at the reception - those sent me off to the bathroom so I could compose myself before being seen in public again!!

We flew home yesterday morning, and the house was empty. He was not around to watch Sunday football, or eat dinner with us, or tromp up the stairs with his AirPods on to go hole up in his bedroom and watch his gaming livestreams. He is off at Navy bootcamp, learning, working hard, finding himself, and becoming the man he was meant to be.

I am not sure how it is possible for one person to feel so many conflicting emotions all at the same time. I am anxious that he will get sick or have a set back, but I am also confident that he is more than prepared to do well at bootcamp. I am incredibly sad to not see or talk to him, but I am also so happy that he has found his direction in life at last. I feel a sense of loss from knowing that he will not be back in this house again for many months, but I also have the biggest feeling of pride that he has chosen the bravest and noblest path to serve his country as a Navy Sailor.

I cannot wait to hug my son at PIR, and then to support him on his next Adventure in the US Navy! Bravo Zulu to him, and to all our SRs and Sailors! 

[Velvetenor]

Thank you @Little Buddy's Mom! I will be thinking of you and your SR too, as our sons begin their journey! It is comforting to know that we are not alone! :)

[pokey1042]

This is definitely a story all of us know too well.  Blessings to you and your family and know its okay to cry.  Believe me I have done my fair share of crying and it doesn't end after PIR.  So many emotions you described that we all had.  Excitement, eagerness, scared, nervous and many more.  Your son will do good and you all will too.  Just write him constantly and stay positive.

[NavyMomofJM]

Velvetenor, your story is very familiar and just know that you are not alone. It took me a little while before I could walk into my son room after he left for boot camp.  Like you I worried about the PT and if he would get set back, everything that was out of my control. Just know going forward, you might get phone calls about doubt and maybe I made a mistake.  I made that phone call to my mom when I went through and my son made that phone call to me, but he graduated on 10/11/2019 and just the change in him we saw was worth all of the worry. He was more confident in himself and what he could handle. I would write him what we termed weekly letters, instead of writing and sending a letter maybe 2 to three times a week. I would start a letter at the beginning of the week, and as things happened to us or his siblings or friends and family. I would tell him through the letter, also I use thursday to do a inspirational quotes, I would copy and paste them into his letters. Also, I would tell him silly little facts about chicago or great lakes, and though he has moved on  to A school. I still send him inspirational quotes and such because he has recently gone through a tough time at A School.  Just know that you and your son will make it through this. Have a wonderful day.  

[Velvetenor]

Thank you @pokey1042 and @NavyMomofJM. I really appreciate your words of comfort, and it does help to know that you all have felt the same way with our Navy kids. I know that I will start to adjust to this "new normal", but that it will take time. This site, and all of the kind people on it, is a real blessing!

[TMC]

Hi Velvetenor, I just read your post about your son’s departure to BC...I had (have) the same roller coaster and mix of emotions.  My son left 12/16 and so other than our 9 second scripted call, I have not heard from him, which I knew would be the case.  It’s Christmas Eve and I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment.  I am wondering how your son is doing and if you have received the Form letter yet?  I am hopeful I will get it by the end of next week.  In his call he said he would call again in about 3 weeks. Fingers crossed!  Merry Christmas to you and your family.  

[diannep]

...just read this Velvetenor....and here you are....almost ready to see your son!  Hard to believe, righ t?  I understand what you were feeling at first.  When my son announced to me that he thought he would go into the Navy...my immediate reaction was fear and I said...um no....even though I have always been a huge supporter of our military.  He had completed his 2 yr degree also...had moved 90 miles north to do an internship and then stayed to work.  Then economy tanked (this was back in 2008/2009) and no more job.  He had a friend who had gone into the Navy a yr before and he thought, well maybe I should do that.  After our initial conversation by phone, I thought about it and decided this may be a very good thing for him to do if he really wanted to do it (he was 22 at the time, but 23 went he went to Bootcamp)..  Once he went to the recruiter, he had to wait 11 mos before he could leave. I still remember the day that my parents and I drove him to the hotel to meet up with his recruiter to leave for Bootcamp.  He seemed more excited than scared at the time....when we got to the hotel, I asked if we could come in and he said no....better to say goodbye now.  I held it together until I dropped off my parents, and then I lost it!  My older son had moved out a couple of weeks earlier and to come home to an empty home, knowing it would be empty now for a very long time (except for my sweet dogs!)....that was hard.  Anyway, going into the military is a bit scary as the military of course "owns them" for a period of time.  Once sailors, even if they want to leave the area for a weekend personal trip, they have to have approval.  They are expected, of course, to conform to what they need to do!  Holiday visits may or may not happen....it is a whole different lifestyle.  Many who have no familiarity with the military compare it to someone leaving for college....but of course, not quite the same.  They are "in touch" with their student and there is freedom....not always true in the Military where there is great discipline and control.  A different way of life that I felt would be very beneficial to my son.  He had a hiccup during Bootcamp but pulled it together and became a sailor.  He is now a veteran, completed his Bachelors on his Navy education money, and has moved on with his life.  He still uses things he learned in the Navy...including the haircut!  HA!  Loves to wear his hair like that.  Anyway....hoping that the run will be passed and you will be sitting front and center a week from tomorrow, with happy tears in your eyes as you watch the amazing PIR!  It is a wonderful celebration!  Almost there!