Received "the box"

[AprilRDMom(ET Nuke)]

You know, I thought I had read enough blogs and comments to prepare myself for the delivery of the box.  To all the moms still waiting, you seriously can't prepare yourself.  I really thought I'd be fine, knowing that the box was coming in advance, preparing myself for its delivery. Reminding myself that my son made this decision and is so happy and excited to get started. NOTHING can prepare you, until you receive it yourself.  I heard the doorbell ring and went to the door -- I really thought the box would come tomorrow -- I don't know why, I just did.  I'm expecting delivery of an order and thought it was that.  The fedex guy was already back at his truck.  I stood on my porch staring at the box with my son's handwriting in complete shock.  I quickly texted my younger son and my best friend and informed them of the box arrival.  And started to open it.  Now crying.  I get the box open and I'm rifling through everything.  A bunch of papers at the bottom of the box and I got all excited.  Scanning these papers, and truly hyperventilating a bit at this point, scanning for more information -- something -- anything! I now have his clothes folded and in a pile next to me -- so I can reach over and smell him now and then.  I won't be washing these clothes for quite a while.  To all the moms still waiting, hugs to you.  Reach out if you need to talk.  It is cathartic to write about it.  :) Thanks for listening (reading). :)

[annafornavy]

acm: You sweet thing.. Everyone reacts differently to the box arriving.. My son was in bootcamp April 26th of last year and graduated June 25th.. When I read the posts by new mama's whose kids have just entered boot-camp my heart skips back to that time and I can remember all so well what you are feeling.. I cried as I read your post.. I was just pulling up in my driveaway when the Fed-Ex man was alking across my lawn.. I looked at him and the tears began to flow and as I reached for the box my knees went weak and I fell on the grass and cried. He said are you ok.. I said NO.. and I wont be until June 25th.. I could tell by the look on his face he was familiar with these deliverys. He turned and walked away. I entered the house and ripped open the box wanting the familiar smell of Dustin to come flooding over me. And it did.. I help his cell phone to my face as I knew the last call he made on it was to me saying mom I am here.. My heart was bent and I did not know how to gather myself. And everyone kept saying you will be fine everything will get easier and better when the letters start arriving. But I was a mess until they did start arriving.. But one of the best things I heard a father say was this. When the box arrived. The mother said they sent my kid home but they forgot to put him in it. And the father looked at her and said they did send your kid home they just kept the man... WOW... WOW... WOW.. I wanted to share that with you.. : ) Good-Luck on your journey.. It does get easier it is just the first 3-4 weeks that seem endless until the letters and an occasional call comes and the last 2 weeks you are so FULL of joy as the time is coming near to see your angel again.. God Bless Your Son... My son is now out with the Fleet on a 6 month tour and I am so proud of him and his willings to try and make a difference in this world..

[AprilRDMom(ET Nuke)]

Thanks for the kind words and support, anna.  Your post brought me to tears as well.  It's a time of such mixed emotions. I wish all the best to you and your son! Counting down these 3-4 weeks.  UGH! :)

[AJVNavyMom]

It was 7 weeks ago that I too recieved my sons "Box"  Thought I was nuts to have smelt his clothes till I read on here many of us do!  Whew.  I missed my son every single day and cannot believe I will see my boy Friday when he graduates.  Our journey was emotional at times, but the pride always took over.  Look for his form letter within the week.  Get ready to write him every chance you can....they thrive on mail.  He'll soon call in week 3....that will make you BOTH feel good.  All the best to your son.

[annafornavy]

acm: This journey is full of many ups and downs.. You will have good and bad days.. But dont think because you cry or you are sad or that you hurt that is takes an ounce away from the pride and joy you feel in your heart for what your son is doing. My son and I are so very close.. I didnt wish him home or wish him to change the path he chose. I just wished to talk to him any ol time I wanted.. LOL.. I promise you although the early stages in this hourney feels like every second is an hour and every minuete is a day and every day feels like a month this will pass.. I lived on Navy for Moms.. Make sure you join your PIR group when you get the grduation date.. Those ladies will help you so much and if there is anything I can do for you I am here too..

[AprilRDMom(ET Nuke)]

You ladies are wonderful! Thank you so much for your support and relaying your stories as well.  Anna -- you are EXACTLY right!!!  I just want the ability to call or text my son when the mood hits!!!  It's such a situation that unless you are in it -- you just don't get it.  Thanks again, ~April

[annafornavy]

April we are here for you anytime... : )

 

Navymomyoung: Enjoy every moment with her as you are... They are allowed to take an address book with them when they go and throughtout the book I would write encouraging words to my son that he would find later. He said that meant so much when they were not receiving letters from home yet.. I slept in my sons bed a couple of times when he first left.. April is soo right the people that have not gone through it just dont get it so lean on us when you need a friend and we will extend our hand to you and pull you up... : ) Anna

[AprilRDMom(ET Nuke)]

I really will only be sharing my deepest feelings here, on navyformoms.  I was sharing a bit on facebook.  I thought these people have known me a long time and will want to support me.  I didn't even share remotely deeply - I'm surprised at some of the responses I received.  Things like I have to let him leave the nest....Let me tell you:  my son is 22 and had lived on his own for 2 years.  He was living with me for about 8 months before he left.  But I had done the letting him go and leaving the nest thing.  I actually had people tell me to put my "big mama panties" on.  So try not to be too surprised if, like me, you don't get the support you deserve. It's important to be validated for your feelings.  And, I'm serious, I just posted that I received the box and should be getting his form letter with his address - and I'm told to put my big mama panties on.  Imagine if they knew I was practically hyperventilating and frantically rifling through the contents of the box -- my God, they'd put me away in a padded room.  :P 

Anna:  I LOVE the address book idea and wish I knew it before my son left!

Navymomyoung:  You are the OPPOSITE of a selfish cry baby.  You are giving your most precious gift, your daughter.  Don't let anyone make you feel you are overreacting or that you should "get over it"!  Tell you what, if you do it -- so will I!  :)

 

~April

[annafornavy]

April - I know what you are saying about facebook and the comments.. I received the same thing.. Even my won family was poo-ppoing me about the way I was reacting. The say is true unless you walk in someones shoes they will NEVER understand. Our children have decided to join our great Navy when we are at a time of war and so much disention going on in the middle east and since we are the peace makers of the world we will be there ot help.. My son was on one of the ships that was trying to recovery the 4 Americans that were captured by Pirates and let me tell you you are UNNERVED that your child is SO close to EVIL.. And now I get he chose this path and he knew what he was getting into. Indeed he did.. But I am still his MAMA and when I look at him I dont see a 24 year old man I see my little boy.. I had told my family they were going to have to put me in a medically induced coma until bootcamp was over because I knew Dustin would survive it but I wasnt going to... LOL..  So you are right your true safe haven is right here.. We will wrap our arms around you and love you and support you ALL through it.. Dustin said boot-camp was like prison and A-school was like a half way house after prision and arriving in Norfolk was like LET FREEDOM RING!! : )

[annafornavy]

P.S.

[annafornavy]

really do know how to spell.. LOL.. When I get on here I start typing so fast and I have so much to say I forget to spell check before sending...