Watching him get ready

[B mom of S]

I just added a countdown clock. Scott has a white board in his room, and counts down the days til I day...Feels more like going off the the goolag! It's hard to watch him process this thru the eyes of a 17 yr old. 9 years is a long time to commit to at that age. It is more than 1/2 his life. I keep telling him to break it down.... 6 weeks of plebe summer, than it is COLLEGE with a twist.... After 4 years, you are guaranteed a job for 5. In this economy.. it is a good thing. I know for him, he has to work this out, so I am trying not to say much and just give him some space. I will bring it up from time to time... More in terms of what I am learning. On of the GA Annapolis moms from the parents group called me the other day. She had a GREAT piece of advice for plebe summer. She said to tell the kids to find the weakest link, and pledge to do just a bit better than that guy. Sounded harsh at 1st, until I got the message that it is ALL about the mindset, the mental games you play to get thru. You do whatever it takes. I guess what does not kill you makes you stronger.

In Charlotte, being distracted by a house hunting trip. It helps. Sometimes, I just don't think I can let him go... AND other days, when he sits in the garage and has the gall to blare the horn so we can go... I want to send him NOW! Guess God has a funny way of preparing us both to say good-bye come I day. I suspect I will see tears in his step-dad's eyes as well.

[Sherry James]

Wow, Barbara, you give a vivid description of your son's preparation and concerns regarding I-day. Well do I remember the angst my daughter and I went through exactly 5 springs ago. Boy, do I have stories to tell you. Be prepared for the deer in the headlight stares that most plebes will have on their young sweet faces. Of course, be strong for your son and save the tears for when the arms of Mother B (as Bancroft Hall is affectionately known) receive him and the other 1,200 plebes 'cause you won't be seeing Scott again until Christmas leave. Glad to hear the local parents clubs has contacted you. Go to EVERYTHING they host to learn as much as you possibly can from the seasoned parents. Blessings

[B mom of S]

Thanks Sherry, I have seen the deer in the headlights with Scott when it comes down to finals week.... I can only imagine. How funny... How good that I can laugh and smile rather than cry.

[B mom of S]

Hi Sally,

Sounds like only a days notice for you. That's tough. I had a bit more time to prepare. Scott has been pursuing this for about 18 months, and yet I still don't feel completely prepared. Being here helps.

I will share what I have learned, and hope it helps you decide what's best in your case. I have a 23 yr old college grad from GA Tech. Often, throughout his college years he has come to me to tell ME what he is going to do or what he has done. Often with little or no notice. I have figured out that it is because He wants to do this and not necessarily debate it with me. It does only allow me a limited time to ask the question... always prefaced by "have you thought about this or have you considered this" It makes me pick and choose my battles.

The other thing I have learned is that with my 17yr USNA plebe to be is to back off and let him come to me, and now I ask how I can help. I let him know I am available if he needs or wants me, but I respect if he would prefer to deal with it on his own. Doing that has made him come to me more... as though it is his decision.

Maybe you could just let you son know you are proud of him..... Even if it does not "feel" that way now. Your head and your heart may take a while to get aligned on this one. Let him know you support HIS decision and ASK how you can help..... Then just sit back and wait for the miracle to happen.... Scott continues to surprise and impress me... even when he honks the horn from the garage. My big impressive dufus! Guess I know what that makes me.

Good luck and keep me posted,

Barbara