Weeping

[NCNarrator]

Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5b

 

I wasn't much of a crier before my kids came along.  I hated crying - it gave me a headache, it made my nose run, and it made me feel stupid. One I became a teenager, and then an adult, I rarely cried.

 

Then the first wave of pregnancy hormones hit. 

 

I cried when I listened to the radio.  I cried when I watched television shows.  I cried when I watched the commercials they played during the television shows.  Sometimes I started crying, and even I couldn't figure out why!

 

This drove my husband half crazy.  Imagine coming home from work to find your wife sitting in the living room sobbing because a commercial for Folgers coffee came on and the family was just so...HAPPY!  (cue renewed sobbing)

 

We were both hoping this new personality quirk would pass once the baby was born and to some extent it did, although I still have my moments.

 

Crying is part of parenting.  The first time our recruit had an ear infection as a baby, I cried through the night right along with him.  The first time we had an actual fight when he was a teenager, I started crying as soon as his bedroom door slammed.  When we dropped him off at college, there were some tears involved, too.

 

Sending him off to Boot Camp was a little different.  I didn't cry.  We'd had several months to adjust to the idea that he'd be leaving for Great Lakes, and we were very comfortable with his decision to join the Navy.  There really didn't seem to be that much to cry about.

 

But this weekend, I started hoping for a phone call.

 

I had no reason to think we'd get one, I just really wanted one.  We haven't spoken to him since he left (the one phone call he made went to voicemail...just our luck), and I suddenly really wanted to hear his voice.

 

My phone was my constant companion all weekend.  By the time darkness fell on Sunday night, I had to face the fact that we were not getting a phone call this weekend.

 

The tears came. 

 

I'm not crying for him...I know he's fine.  Better than fine, probably, since he was really looking forward to doing some "real stuff" in the next couple of weeks.

 

I'm crying for me.  I'm disappointed, and a little sad, and just missing him.  It used to irritate me when my mother would call me out of the blue, in tears, and say, "I just wanted to hear your voice."  I suppose I felt like it was a little silly, considering I'd been out on my own for a while.  Now I'm sharing an oar with my mother in that same boat.

 

And that's why Psalm 30:5b is my scripture.  To help me remember that although I'm sad right now, it doesn't last.  Rejoicing is coming - maybe not in the morning, but it is on its way.

 

This is my prayer today:

Heavenly Father, you are ever faithful to your promises.  Soothe my heart and dry my tears.  Fill my heart with rejoicing, so that there is no room for sorrow.  Guide my thoughts away from today's sadness and toward tomorrow's joy.  Amen.

[bsb]

very well said! it's hard to have our "boys" grow up. I totally understand the crying for me, the disappointment, realizing I'm not the most important female in his world anymore when he calls his girlfriend first. I'm not bitter, just sad in realizing how much he's growing up. I just roll with the feelings and keep on praying!!