This site is for mothers of kids in the U.S. Navy and for Moms who have questions about Navy life for their kids.



Choose your Username.  For the privacy and safety of you and/or your sailor, NO LAST NAMES ARE ALLOWED, even if your last name differs from that of your sailor (please make sure your URL address does not include your last name either).  Also, please do not include your email address in your user name. Go to "Settings" above to set your Username.  While there, complete your Profile so you can post and share photos and videos of your Sailor and share stories with other moms!

Make sure to read our Community Guidelines and this Navy Operations Security (OPSEC) checklist - loose lips sink ships!

Join groups!  Browse for groups for your PIR date, your sailor's occupational specialty, "A" school, assigned ship, homeport city, your own city or state, and a myriad of other interests. Jump in and introduce yourself!  Start making friends that can last a lifetime.

Link to Navy Speak - Navy Terms & Acronyms: Navy Speak

All Hands Magazine's full length documentary "Making a Sailor": This video follows four recruits through Boot Camp in the spring of 2018 who were assigned to DIV 229, an integrated division, which had PIR on 05/25/2018. 

Boot Camp: Making a Sailor (Full Length Documentary - 2018)

Boot Camp: Behind the Scenes at RTC

...and visit - America's Navy and also Navy Live - The Official Blog of the Navy to learn more.

OPSEC - Navy Operations Security

Always keep Navy Operations Security in mind.  In the Navy, it's essential to remember that "loose lips sink ships."  OPSEC is everyone's responsibility. 

DON'T post critical information including future destinations or ports of call; future operations, exercises or missions; deployment or homecoming dates.  

DO be smart, use your head, always think OPSEC when using texts, email, phone, and social media, and watch this video: "Importance of Navy OPSEC."

Follow this link for OPSEC Guidelines:



**UPDATE 4/26/2022** Effective with the May 6, 2022 PIR 4 guests will be allowed.  Still must be fully vaccinated to attend.

**UPDATE as of 11/10/2022 PIR vaccination is no longer required.

**UPDATE 7/29/2021** You now must be fully vaccinated in order to attend PIR:

In light of observed changes and impact of the Coronavirus Delta Variant and out of an abundance of caution for our recruits, Sailors, staff, and guests, Recruit Training Command is restricting Pass-in-Review (recruit graduation) to ONLY fully immunized guests (14-days post final COVID vaccination dose).  


RTC Graduation

**UPDATE 8/25/2022 - MASK MANDATE IS LIFTED.  Vaccinations still required.

**UPDATE 11/10/22 PIR - Vaccinations no longer required.


Please note! Changes to this guide happened in October 2017. Tickets are now issued for all guests, and all guests must have a ticket to enter base. A separate parking pass is no longer needed to drive on to base for parking.

Please see changes to attending PIR in the PAGES column. The PAGES are located under the member icons on the right side.

Format Downloads:

Navy Speak

Click here to learn common Navy terms and acronyms!  (Hint:  When you can speak an entire sentence using only acronyms and one verb, you're truly a Navy mom.)

N4M Merchandise

Shirts, caps, mugs and more can be found at CafePress.

Please note: Profits generated in the production of this merchandise are not being awarded to the Navy or any of its suppliers. Any profit made is retained by CafePress. Para Familias

Visite esta página para explorar en su idioma las oportunidades de educación y carreras para sus hijos en el Navy.



(Written in response to a mom who wanted to know why her son wasn't getting medical leave for an illness).


Unfortunately, (name), this is one of those times we moms have to sit on our hands and bite our tongues until they bleed.  Your sailor has to be the one to ask those questions.  I agree, that from your description the rationale for keeping him on active duty is hard to deduce.

However, PARENTS can't get involved, other than to perhaps guide him on how to "work the system."  As much as we love the Navy, remember the American military is the largest bureacracy in the world!  We older folks have learned through years of tough experience how to deal with bureaus, but our kids have not. They are used to dealing mostly with schools, where eventually the mess straightens itself out because the system is designed to get them graduated and Mom will always step in and solve the problems. They don't know how to advocate for themselves.


Is your SAILOR  wanting the leave?  Perhaps (and I say "perhaps") he's telling the command he's better than he really is (to preserve their perception of him).  If HE wants the leave, HE must work the chain of command.  That means HE must go to his Chief first to ask "What's up with this?"  If he doesn't get a satisfactory answer, he can start to work his way up the ladder (COB, CO, etc.)  If he's not wanting leave, your issue is with him, not the Navy.

Teach him to attack an "elephant" on all four legs, tail, and trunk. That means to pursue his issue through several possible sources at once (e.g. consult the doctor and consult his career detailer... saying, "I  don't understand this situation, can you give me some insight?")  He might not get the problem solved, but he'll get advice on what to do which may be different than what his shipmates are telling him.

The details matter and should be kept track of. KEEP A LOG: EVERY TIME HE SPEAKS TO SOMEONE, NOTE THE DATE, TIME, AND IDENTITY OF WHO!  When told he'll be called back or to come back later, he should always ask, "When should I expect that call?" / "So, if I don't hear from you by Friday, then I should call on Monday?" / "When you say 'later,' that would be exactly when?"  Also keep a note of what he was told... this proves invaluable and paints your soldier as someone to deal with (because he's not saying, "Someone over at some office told me blah, blah...")

Remember, no one wants to solve special circumstance problems, so will try to wriggle out and send the problem somewhere else. There's an old saying in management, "No one wants to take the monkey off your back." So, your sailor must pin people down and make them take the monkey. Hold them accountable for words/actions. Helpful questions would be, "Then who has this authority in his absence?" /  "If you cannot help with this problem, I may need to escalate my search. What is your commanding office?" /  "What help could your commanding office be?"  Be as persistent as possible, without being rude or insubordinate.  And when facing someone who says he/she can't help, always ask the question, "Then what do you suggest?" 

Fifth (and most importantly):

He may ultimately get an answer that you don't like.  When HE no longer wants to pursue the issue, you may have to let it alone.  Any legal-type action should be pursued as a last resort and with much professional advice.  The old saying is, "Choose with care the hill you're willing to die on."

This advice is helpful when dealing with ANY large organization. I worked 12 years in a customer service group, and have taught others how to deal with them too.  And, I hope it doesn't sound preachy or high-handed... I sympathize with your anger, especially as it deals with your son's health and safety.  Good luck, k.

Views: 71

Comment by Anti M on April 21, 2009 at 8:20pm
Very good advice. Always be aware that every sailor has a chain of command and use the chain to your advantage. I need to talk to your LPO. Your Chief. Your Div-O ... up and up. Be sure your COC is aware of issues you are having. Command Master Chiefs also know much that can be useful. The Ombudsman? Not for sailors, that person is for family members.


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