Boot camp fear

[Denise]

Son is procrastinating to join I keep asking him what's stopping him. Not only being physically challenging I think ultimately he will feel alone, pulled away from his friends. Anything to say to encourage him?

[Phoenixmom]

Good Morning Denise, I'm sorry your Son is having second thoughts. Basically it is really up to him to take this step. He will never know for himself if he just doesn't try. His friends will always be there if they are true friends. Once he gets over BC he will see he did the right thing. He will learn his Trade (rate) and he will go places his friends will probably never get to see. And I assure him when he comes to visit they will be calling him to pick him up and take him out. But again Military is not for everybody, but one will never know unless they just do it. Hoping he changes his mind, There is so much out there that awaits for him.

[Debbie]

I believe joining our Military is a calling and even if you feel called it is a ginormous step. 

Maybe if you just encourage him to be better prepared first, work on the physical aspect, study up and seek out some that are in or have gone through. These are all things my son did and not only did he feel better prepared I was confident it was the right time. 

There's no rush to join, but preparing is key. 

[Molly's Proud Mom]

Denise...I'm still new here (daughter's PIR NEXT WEEK!!!!!! YAY!!!) but I'll put in my two cents. BC is a mental game as much as it is physical training. If your son isn't ready to handle that, then this might not be the right time. If he's just feeling nervous, that's totally normal and he might be able to push through. He should watch some of the videos these ladies have links to for us, to see what happens when they get to BC. It certainly is not for everyone, which is why the Navy is trying to sort them out now, not when they're in an active situation somewhere. There is NO shame in saying this isn't for me...whether right now or ever. He is already in a small percentage of people who ever step up, whether or not they make it and he should be very proud of considering this path. Good luck to you as you encourage him to choose whatever path is right for HIM, knowing that no path is forever. And we're always here to offer encouragement and {{{{{{hugs!!!}}}}}}

[rf144]

He should talk to a recruiter. Find out if/when sailors will be coming to the recruiting office to do their RAP duty. These sailors have just completed boot and A school, and are on leave before they head to their first assignment. They can give him the skinny on how it really is. And if he joins, he won't be alone. He will be joining a brotherhood (with sisters, too!) that is like no other. True friends will remain true friends. Others who may not have a plan for their future may fall by the wayside, and that's okay. He needs to have like-minded, positive, supportive friends around him.

My daughter wasn't a runner before she left. She had been working out regularly, and was doing some running on a treadmill. I was seriously worried she wouldn't make the run, and I prayed and prayed those first days until I got the form letter. I knew she'd done it! In the end, she was more than a minute under the max, which I thought was great, considering she never ran a full 1.5 miles when she was working out. The most she'd done at one time was a half mile. The swimming wasn't a problem; she swims like a fish and was a lifeguard. She had danced for 10 years, so I knew she could do the push ups and curl ups. Now, when she does PT, she runs 3 miles and it's not a big deal. 

Your son doesn't need to be an athlete going in. He just needs to be able to put in the work. He should work on his running and whatever he feels sluggish in. The PFA is no joke, but hundreds pass the minimums every week. He can do, too! If he hasn't been to MEPS or taken the ASVAB, he can get a study guide at a bookstore, or even the library, and start studying. The better your score, the more job options you have. Color blindness knocks out a lot of jobs, by the way. On Wikipedia, you can type in Navy ratings, and he can read about each job available, and figure out what may interest him.

I suggest the two of you go for a ride alone, or just sit down, and you ask him where his head is. There is no right or wrong answer. Be supportive, not too insistent, but tell him he needs to talk to a recruiter and, if possible, some new sailors. Don't let the recruiter push him into signing anything or press him about any one job over the other. If he chooses to join, he needs to stand his ground for the job he really wants, provided his ASVAB score is good enough, etc.

I would have never thought my daughter would join the service ("Look, mom! Army men in their costumes!"). She used to change clothes multiple times a day, and now she has to wear the same thing all day long?? Man, she came home on leave after A school and got into her uniform, socks, boots and all, so fast, just to show me, without my asking, I was amazed! She loves wearing her uniform and being a part of the Navy. When she went to her high school for RAP duty, to talk to kids about the Navy, she was annoyed by the questions they asked. "Can you smoke and drink in the Navy?" I told her they were kids, and she was just as dumb a couple of years ago, too. They have to figure out what they want in life. 

Don't worry; your son will figure things out. Just be supportive and encouraging, and try to get him to talk about his concerns. Talking to a recruiter is not a commitment, either; he can walk away if he's not comfortable, and find another recruiter. Hang in there, and good luck!