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When my son/daughter first spoke about joining the service I…

Story Time anyone?
I know when you first join N4M’s one of our standard Q’s is: When my son/daughter first spoke about joining the service I…

And then usually there are the standard answers like:
Was concerned or afraid, Was confused, Needed to learn more about it, Was proud, Was relieved, Encouraged him/her, Said “No way!”

But I'm starting this thread- because I wanted to hear the stories and memories behind these standard answers! Things like: How did they bring it up to you? What was the reasoning? I see your responses to this question and I think things like "I wonder why they were confused. Or if they said “no way” how did still end up joining?" Heh. Plus, I think every mom on here has an interesting story to tell.
So (pretty please) take us back to that moment…

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Our son Eric came home on a Sun. in not to good of shape after a weekend with the guys. He sais I think I'm joining the Navy. My husband and I just looked at each other without saying it we were both thinking right. Little did we know a few weeks later he was heading to Minn. to be sworn in. He was in the DEP program. He left a good paying job. But he did say that he was bored with his life here. Wanted to see the world. So after his PIR off to Pensacola. Started classes and graduated number 1 in his. Now mind you this kid never brought a book home in high school. His locker was his car. He scored on the top for his 2nd class Petty Officers test. He has that and is aE5. Allin over 1 1/2 yrs. Still in shock on that. He was at Whidby Island just left Mon. for Afghan. Hope his smarts keeps him safe.
He clearly was search for something. What a great job he did and in a very short time Kim, you must be very proud of him. Our thoughts and prayers go out to him and you as he starts his new duty station.
I have been hearing about him wanting to join the navy for so long that my reaction when I heard that he'd actually done it was "finally!" Greg talked about it in high school. Then he went to college for 4 years. After that it was 1½ years teaching in Taiwan. Then back home for 1 year that somehow turned into 5 years. He had jobs, usually 2 at a time, but was never able to earn enough to settle down and raise the family he wanted. So, last Dec. he came to us and said he'd been talking to a recruiter and was going to MEPS. He said "I have to do this now before I get too old" and we said "OK if that's what you want to do, go for it." His girlfriend said she thought it was the best thing he could do right now and that she'd support him in anything he decided on, so she's sticking by him which helps him a lot. He knows he has incredible support from home.

And Kimberly, Greg did what your Josh did, researched everything very throroughly (I must admit I played "devil's advocate" a lot but that's what he wanted me to do) and I feel he was about as well-informed as possible by the time he got to MEPS.
I never knew Bryan enlisted. There were no conversations about what he wanted to do with his life because, like every Mom, I had already worked that out in my head. I can share with you what I wrote when I first came to Navy For Moms (an edited version…tried to clean it up!).

Kimberly Rad Bryan's Mom! on March 21, 2008 at 2:08pm

Although I am impressed by Bryan's ability to make a decision that will determine his future, I can't help but feel afraid at times. When I found out Bryan had enlisted… I found out by accident. My youngest daughter came home from a slumber party and told me that some of the girls were upset because Bryan had enlisted. I told Katie I did not think Bryan had done that. My insides were churning. I think that Bryan could not bring himself to tell me. He thought he knew how I would react. Had it happened any other way I might have reacted poorly. I would like to think I would not have, but I think I would have been emotional. He thought I wanted him to attend college and he was right. I thought I made sure that I put every opportunity to succeed in front of him. He was involved in a variety of things and his dream was to go make films, as his Uncle is a professor of film at UCLA. I should have seen it coming. There were signs and I guess I chose to look the other way. Like when he applied to every college around and then when the first set of deadlines came and he turned them down, I thought to myself he will probably go to a state school. Then the second set of deadlines came...I came in the house from work, he said " you know Mom, I think I will just go to Santa Monica College and transfer to UCLA where Uncle Steven is". Bryan never applied to UCLA. Attending SMC allowed Bryan to live at home. He made a schedule of 15 units on Mondays and Wednesdays. Then the other five days a week he slept until 2 PM. I asked about getting a job and he said" yeah, I'm on it". I watched him kind of flounder around, literally struggling to make decisions where before he was a doer. It was frustrating me and I could see it in him. I saw a change in Bryan in December because he had a plan. I just did not know what it was. He almost seemed like he was relieved. After Katie came home from that slumber party, I became curious. I have never looked through the kid’s rooms, but that day I was having company and I thought while I was cleaning up, I would oil the furniture in his room. Very convenient! It did not take much looking around. The papers were sitting out in the open on the dresser (in a backpack that the Navy had given him). Bryan had enlisted on December 8, 2007 and had a deployment date of May 19, 2008. That is when I had my Sally Field (the one in Steel Magnolias!) moment and I could feel the fear in my body. I went upstairs and sat on my bed and cried. Not for a moment, but for hours. My older daughter came home and said to me that it was not the end of the world. All I could think about was how dangerous the world is and this is not a video game. I emailed my Dad and told him to please not tell me that this will make him a man. My Dad responded by saying “this is what you wanted”. True…. but what I really wanted was for Bryan to launch. I had this idea that he would go away to a dorm room and return on breaks: that I could learn how to miss him from afar and then enjoy him when he came home. This felt like I was losing my child. I work in the mental health community and I had a great deal of support from many different friends. They gave me great insight as to how I could handle it. I wanted to lash out irrationally, but because I did not want to just come out and ask Bryan why.... I decided to let him come to me. I wanted him to be able to tell me his good news without me being irrational and trying to fix it. I found out Bryan had enlisted in January. He never told me. I think the week before he left we knew that each one of us knew. I had enough time to process everything and was prepared to be 100% on board whether I liked it or not. On Monday, February 25 when my son showed up at my office, I was unable to stop what I was doing. I knew something was wrong. Of course I went through a bunch of things in my mind. He left and when I called him back, he said to me" you know that thing?" I kept saying what thing. I was not expecting what he was going to tell me next. The Navy said they wanted him now and he was leaving the next day. I held it together while I was on the phone with him, but when I let him go I started to get teary eyed because I was ready for May, but not tomorrow! I left work and called his friends who then called more friends. I called family and neighbors and that night we had a going away party. I sucked it up because I wanted Bryan to know that I loved him and wanted him to feel like it was ok to leave home on his terms. The next day the recruiter came to get him. I think it was a very profound moment. When that man showed up at my door, I just wanted to ask him if we could fix this and let Bryan go back to the way things were. Instead I sucked it up again and watched my son get in that car and drive away. Bryan asked me when we were going down the stairs if I was going to be all right. I told him of course I would and I was proud to see him begin to make decisions that would make him the great man he was meant to be.

I know it is hard to let go. I am sure that we have all raised great kids. The good news is they are coming back! They are intelligent young people who possess the qualities that Navy wants. And why would the Navy not want them! They are terrific because we raised them! I feel like I gave a very special gift to the world.

Kimberly
Yes you did Kimberly, and because of it you also gave a very special gift to all of us NFM's . . . YOU:)! Hugs:)!
AMAN !!!!
Since I was in the Navy and my husband was in the Marine Corps. Craig has grownup with the pride of serving his country since birth. We had talked a various times thru his childhood about Military service and is it something he would want to do. He had planned on college,but in his junior year realized in his words, "I don't want to be that much in debt at such a young age". So, we talked to him about the GI bill and benefits of getting a college education while serving his country. And it being a win win situation. Craig also realized the first year will be a great growing experience for him personally. Today, he is at the next to last DEP meeting. He gets more excited everyday the closer basic training becomes. I wish there had been N4M when I went in back in the 1980's. It's great.
When Garrett first told me about joining, I have to be honest (and now ashamed) to say I was a tiny bit disappointed............I was under the impression that he wanted to go to college to continue to play hockey and maybe become a teacher. He was such a good hockey player, made First Team All State and was in the first two spots in the state for his division in scoring and over all points. Now here comes the big but ................I also didn't think he would ever consider going so far from his family. His father died just before he joined, he had just turned 17 and that was the toughest thing he had to face. He pulled away from me after that (thinking that if he did, and anything ever happened to me it would not hurt as much) and thank goodness he realized that was not so. Any way, he approached me and told me what he was planning on doing and I had my initial reaction of hurt. Now I whole heartedly support him and all his decisions as he has shown me that he is a mature young man and does make his life choices with knowledge and heart. I learned that this was something that he and his father had discussed and that his father thought it was a wonderful idea. I came to understand that not only was he doing what he wanted, he could still go to school and get his education too (now if he would just get going on this part.....hehehehe). And even being in San Diego he still got to skate........lol.........he went to a local shopping mall and in what he thought was going to be a food court he found an ice rink............took off from the wife, went and found the rink office and signed right up for the mens league.......LOL. He has loved his decision, found a wonderful wife through all this and has become the best Dad ever............I love being a Navy Mom and never ever miss an opportunity to boast my status as such......................
"What are you going to do now?" My daughters future was always in question. She wasn't one to keep focuse on much, had a hard time following through and was getting in trouble at school. And this was middle school!! Lord help me, I was not looking forward to high school! Her freshman year wasn't too bad. She joined the swim team and met several girls who also was in the ROTC program. One particular girl started to talk to Ash about the program and the drill tream. It sparked a interest in her. So for the next 3 years of school, Ashlee was in swimming, ROTC, and the drill team. She LOVED it! We went all over to watch her preform. At that time, it was the most awsome site I had seen. In her junior year, she started to question what she really wanted to do. She matured so much in those years. Ashlee started to talk to recuirters from all military. She wanted to see what each had to offer. Her ROTC program is sponsered by the Marines, so she first turned to them. During one of her drill meets, a judge from the Navy was there, and she thought "Hum, why not?!" Her father and I supported her decission the whole time. Never questioned it. We raised her to do something wonderful in this world and she found it. And the rest is history! She loves what she is doing, where she is at, and the people she is with. She may only be 19, but she puts that uniform on and she is grown woman doing what is necessary for the rest of us. As her mother, I am so proud of her.
yay! the mom of a girl!! i have been reading stories about parents with navy sons and was really beginning to get worried that i would never find a parent who had a girl in the navy. i got a message from my 22 year old daughter the other day informing me she was considering a career in the navy. she has already spoken with the recruiter. she has been attending college and it really hasn't been what she was looking for. i am scared....proud.......and wondering what happens next.......i am very glad to have found this forum
Sami has always been a writer.She writes stories and poems.She loves to write. To be a writer you have to go to school. I am a single parent and she has always known that I cannot afford to pay for school.She and her friend came in the house one day and said they had talked to a recruiter for the national gaurd.She was not impressed with what they had to offer.We talked about it and decided to go see a Air Force recruiter. He told her she probably would never get into the journalism program with them.He went ahead and did a pre ASVAB test on her anyway.He did his best to get her to sign with them but she told him she needed time to think. I was impressed with her because she has always led with her heart and not with her head and here she was saying she needed to think!She has struggled with high school and in her personal life.As we were walking out the door she said "Mom what about the Navy"We turned around and walked back to the next door down. Four young men greated us as we walked in.We sat down and started talking. The petty officer said that she could not start in the Multimedia Communications area but she could work her way up if she was willing to try. He explained about the GI bill and told her she could go to school while she was in the Navy for anything she wanted. We talked awhile longer and she took another pre ASVAB test.He told her to go home and think about it and call him back.On the way home we stoped and got an ASVAB book( she scored a 65 on the pretest.)We got home and sat down and she told me" Mom i want to make a diffrence in the world. I want to be something that my nephew (Skyler) will be proud of. I dont want to be a screwup any more. I do not want to waste my life."I have always let my children make thier own choices.I have guided them and always stood beside them.We went back a week later to the recruiter and she took the ASVAB and scored a 90 something on the test.She signed the papers that day.She has taken to this whole heartedly and she is doing great. She loves her job. (Not multimedia)She will always chose the "Path less trod" but i know she will succed in all she tries to do.I love her and am VERY proud of her. Becky
Our son Ben decided that he was going to join the military when 911 happened, he was 16 years old. On the day we invaded Iraq he said that if he was old enough he would of joined then. He talked to all branches of the military and started going to the recruiting offices. When he was 17 years old and graduating from high school he had decided already that he was going to join the Navy. On his 18th birthday he enlisted, it took a year for him to get in so he was involved in the DEP program. When he went to sign up I assumed that he would be a Sailor. When he came home with his recruiter he explained to his father and I that he was accepted as a Seabee. I had no idea what a Seabee was and after doing some research I finally understood what he would be doing. August of 2005 he left for boot camp. He did his A school in California since Katrina had basically wiped out Gulfport. He graduated 1st in his class and became Petty Officer 3rd class. He knew what he wanted at such a young age, to defend his country. Its been 3 years now since he enlisted. Between working all day and attending college at night he is a very busy young man. But once his heart is set on something he puts all his might into it. He has seen so much and learned so much that our family is very proud of him. His younger brothers miss him so much but those precious moments we get to spend together during his leave is worth it. I never imagined in all my life that he would of joined the Navy, but keeping us safe and his country safe is all that he asks. When I try to explain this to people who do not have children in the service it is hard for them to understand. But all us moms know what it is to love that very special person, to miss them with all our hearts, to cry at times it hurts so bad, but to know deep down in our hearts that we are proud of them and proud to be a mom of someone serving our country.

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