Heartbroken

[CTmomof3]

I haven't heard from my son in a long time. Spoke to him more when he was in BC and A school. Well, my husband talked to him for a few minutes last night and when he told my son how hurt I am that he does't call, my son said "I'm so far away I don't care who I hurt" OMG!! what's happened to him. He as cut himself off from his entire family and we don't know why. as everyone has been very supportive of him his entire life. The only one I know he calls every day is the GF. I am beside myself.

[Karalyn]

Just a word of advice. I would be very careful about contacting the base, chaplin, or someone from his command. Sailors do get in trouble if their mom complains about not hearing from them. While in either Powerschool or Prototype, my son witnessed a sailor being taken to the Master of Arms office, sat down and ordered to call his family. I'm sure there was a lecture following that. That would not make your son happy, and could make things worse.

I can not imagine what you are going through, as I do not have that problem. My son is very good about keeping in touch. He would usually text message me at least once everyday, even if it was just a "good morning". There were a couple of times where he would go awhile (couple of days or so) without getting in touch, but he was just trying to prepare me for when he would be out to sea. He would always say, "when I'm underway I won't be able to talk to you everyday" and I would simply tell him "I'll get use to it then". Its hard for me to know when I can call him, but he knows he can call me anytime, so what I do when I want to hear from him is send him a text message. When he can he will answer, either via a text message or a phone call. When they are in port I like to send him a "Good Morning" message everyday, just to let him know I'm thinking about him. It makes me feel better.

[2g1h31kf6k7l0]

Joshua, Thank you for your service to your country. But I do feel that there was some Personal attacks that should of been posted privately to your mothers page. There are quite a few moms on here that their loved ones have been serving for a long time, and there are those that have lost their sons while serving their country. I thank God everyday forthe contact and the bond i share with my son. But i also know he has enough respect for me if i posted something that was offensive, he would post it on my profile page. This site is not for personal attacks. But for inspiration, encouragement, compassion and friendship. I do not know your mom personally nor have I ever spoke to her on here. No matter what the story is nor the back ground. She is your mother. We have all said things out of anger and out of ignorance that can and probably will come back to haunt us and bite us in the butt... I lost my mom almost 3 years ago. To this day, i can remember every fight we ever had, every arguement we ever had and every ill word that was exchanged. But being by her side on her death bed, do you think i thought of the good times we shared? the good conversations we had? No, i thought of the bad things that was said over the years in hopes that she could hear me telling her I loved her. The last time i saw my mom alive was 3 weeks before she died. I moved away out of state because I thought "she" was being to intrusive in how I was raising my children and forced my son, who is now serving his country, to go live with his father instead of my mother. I will regret that descion to the day I die. Even though my mom had health issues and was a cranky person and sometimes very hateful and forgetful of the said things you have brought up, (gifts and converstations) I loved my mother. Because of the fact if it wasn't for my mom and my dad deciding to have children, or God allowing me to be born to her. I wouldn't be here today and in turn my children wouldn't be here for me to raise. We learn from the mistakes of our parents. We learn not to make the same mistakes they made with us. And in turn, try to build a new life and foundation for them for when they become Adults. I sympathize with your situation. I dont pity.. Pity isn't in my list of feelings I have for people. You can control the situation, You can control the feelings and the environment. Even if its a short phone call being monitored, or even a short visit closely watching the situation. There is a way. Give it to the Lord. I did. And now I am at peace with the situation with my mom. I know my mother knew I loved her despite the hard times we shared the last few years I had with her. I thank God every day that she was my mother. Because of Her, I learn what NOT to do with or to my children. have a great holiday season and at least tell you mom you love her. You don't have to love her ways, but you need to love her for being her. Sincerely A Navy Mom. Dawn

[Terrolyn]

Oh no, I'm so sorry this is happening, I can empathize with your situation, because I'm going through something similiar. My son was dating a girl from our hometown area, it had started in July, against my wishes, she is still in high school. Long distance relationships test the best of the adult world, much less the younger crowd. Not being able to have the usual Friday night date, prom date, takes its toll on the youngsters, they fight, take swipes at each other, vent their jealousies, it can get quite intense to them.

It sounds like he's having problems with the girlfriend or just lashing out at the closest person to them. I don't think they mean to, figuring their way in their new world, wanting to break away and "be a man." My son I think, is going through a break up, he's hurting, but thinks he wants to figure it out and heal on his own. I still keep reaching out to him, the hurtful remarks he usually apologizes for later.

Where is he stationed at? It may be just a phase, I don't know your son, but I can feel your pain, keep reaching out, don't pull away because of one thing he said. I know what he said hurts, but he still needs his mom in his life.