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Am I being selfish?
Since high school, I wanted to get into the military... Honestly, I never thought about the Navy and AF was it for me.... Right after 9-11, my mom made me "wait until the Wars over" which I respected and waited. I went to college and soon after met my current fiance.... We have been together since 2003 and I always told him I was going to join the AF.... He asked me to wait, and again, I did...Fast forward to Dec 2009. My mom asked me whatever happened to joining the AF. I told her with all the weight I gained, it would be impossible. She told me that with determination, I could lose the weight and join... so I did... I started losing weight and during that process did TONS of research and found the Navy to be for me.... So 26.8 lbs later, here I am attempting to shed another 40 before I can enlist.... My fiance has cerebal palsy and is currently getting tested for Diabates... Hes in no way at the point where he is unable and unfit to take care of himself, but I would rather he not travel and be somewhere alone in unfamiliar territory in the event something happens... He doesnt want me to lose the weight to join, but more to be healthy and at the same time doesnt fully support my weight loss bc he knows I will then go enlist.... Then he throws his disability at me and thinks that if he is diagnosed with diabetes, i will then have to stay at home with him and not join. His mother has joined in on this "guilt trip" as well and now I feel selfish for wanting to join.... Should I? Should I feel selfish if he is daignosed with diabetes and im leaving him behind? His father has a bad case of diabetes and often has "episodes" that have, twice in the last 2 years, put him in the hospital.
I know the answer is if you love him and you know he could be like his dad, to stay, but at the same time, i REALLY want this...
Thanks for any comments!
****Update as of 5/19. He rcvd a call back about his blood work... test results came back negative. No diabetes!!! Dr advised to keep up with a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent the future possibility of anything occuring.... Meaning a better diet and cutting back on those cigarettes****
Views: 319
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by AnxiousFutureRecruit on
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Exactly Anti M! And thats what I'm working on. It will be a much slower progress, but is THE BEST process and way to go about it.
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"motard" LOL I love that.
I have loads of faith in myself! I will always come here for support, no doubt about that.... And I hope my mom will as well. She's scared to death and i keep telling her to come here but she wants to wait!!! GRRR
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Thank you very much! I will be sure to let her know. She tells me she doesnt want to get on, read what other moms are going through, and while some may be positive thoughts, get depressed knowing she will eventually go through it.... My mom is my best friend and always will be. Going away will be hard on her, but I know with time it will get easier... And I know N4M's will help =)
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I do now... I just needed to hear myself say it out loud and hear others voices and opinions in it, from people that dont know me or him... Thanks!
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Permalink Reply by JLD-BensMom on
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Dear Anxious, you better run now before anything happens to you!! I tell you this out of experience. I was with a guy for 4 yrs. I thought he was a pretty nice guy (no drugs, not abusive) well I should have taken the hint when I wanted to join the Air Force(didn't get in-flat feet). I told him what I wanted to do and he freaked out. He wreaked the car we were in (nobody was hurt) into an embankment. Then his mother told me it was my obligation to him that I should consider!!!! Needless to say, I learned my lesson a little too late. After moving in with him I realized that he wasn't for me and we grew apart. I left, he came looking for me, he found me and shot me and now I am considered a paraplegic( I walk with braces & crutches all the time). He had said to a number of times the if he couldn't have me the nobody would. That was 24 years ago and now I'm happier more than ever! Married w/2 boys, 1 a Nuke in A-school and another in High School. Get the courage now!! Time flies & shorter than you think! Live your Dream and don't let anyone stop you or guilt you into doing something you want to do!!!
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I'm so sorry for what happened to you... I hope and pray I'm not put into a situation like that... I've known him for nearly 7 years now but anything can make a person snap. Gratz on your son in Nuke A-School!! I hope I get on my journey into the Navy like your son!. I'm going to live my dream now, tired of this fantasy world I play over and over in my head.
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