Brand New Navy Mom

[Cat(Mom of an AO)]

Hi,

 

I am probably very ahead of myself but want to be very much involved in my son's future life as a Sailor. Stephen just enlisted with the Navy and my husband and I are meeting with the recruiter tomorrow night to discuss he's next steps as far as when boot camp will begin, etc. We are so very happy for Stephen and stand by him-not because he is our son but because we believe he has made a wise choice for his future.

 

Does anyone have any advise or direction for a new Navy Mom?

 

 

 

Cathy      

[ChrisAmo]

Hi Cathy,
Advice? Yes. Don't panic, remember to breathe, be supportive but don't turn into a "helicopter mom"..........that's a mom who hovers over her kid. Once he gets to boot camp he's totally out of your hands and into the Navy's hands. You have to sit back and let the whole thing work itself out.

The Navy is overmanned right now so he may not get his ship-out date for months, so be patient. To allay your fears somewhat, I'm re-posting some info on what happens when he's at boot camp, from your point of view, not his.

I wrote this a while back but thought it might be good to repeat it for moms new to this whole Navy Boot Camp Experience..
(Substitute "she" for "he" where appropriate)
You'll hopefully get a 30 sec. phone call to say he's arrived, (but not always, if the lines are too long and the phones are all busy), a few days later comes the infamous "box" containing his former life...known to many of us "kid-in-a-box" (that's when most of us lose it), the next week you'll get an official letter giving you his address (but his recruiter should be able to tell you before that), with 3 lines at the bottom that he'll write to say he's fine (or whatever). Then comes the hard part, you won't hear anything else for the next 2-3 weeks. A phone call at week 3 if you're lucky (phone calls home are a reward for good work by the division) and letters once a week thereafter.

Advice? write, write write, every day. He won't get mail for the first week or so, but keep writing anyway. Send letters or cards (no musical ones though until you find out if his RDC (Recruit Division Commander) approves, some do and some don't), no newspaper clippings about anything other than sports or funny stuff, no care packages (they'll confiscate everything like that). Stamps are always appreciated. Also a activated phone card so they can call home when they're given the chance. Keep checking in on this page, you'll find so many moms in the same boat you'll be able to relate to.

When you write, send news of home, family and friends, (they love every little detail), and always, always be positive. Tell him you love him, tell him you miss him but you can't wait to see him at his PIR (that's graduation). Don't be negative about anything, these kids have enough to contend with without worrying about what's going on at home. And welcome to the crew!

[Cat(Mom of an AO)]

Chris A,

LOL!! Do I sound like a helicopter mom? My husband always tells me to stop hovering!! I will definately take your advise.Your comments are very helpful. From what Stephen (my son) stated, I believe his boot camp will probably be sometime in November so I have time to absorb as much for this site as I can.

Once agian, thank you so much. This site is amazing. It gives me much comfort in knowing that I have communication with others in the same boat. LOL!

Take Care

Cathy

[ChrisAmo]

Judy makes a very good point. Get everything in writing. If it isn't written down and signed for, it didn't happen. Remember, he's signing a contract with the Navy, and the Navy is signing a contract with him. Also, keep his recruiter informed of any changes (health etc) and DO NOT LIE about anything. If you're absolutely honest about everything then there's nothing to hide. If you lie about something and the Navy finds out (and they will) they can discharge you for "fraudulent enlistment." My son was on a disapproved medication several years before he joined which meant he had to get a medical waiver. Took extra time but it meant he had a clean slate. He got a speeding ticket right before he went in, reported it to his recruiter, showed proof he'd paid it and everything was OK. All this is very scary but you need to be aware.

[Cat(Mom of an AO)]

Judy, Chris,

Thank you so much. There seems to be so much I have to learn. I will definatley check out the site you recommended and take your advise on getting everything in writing. You have both been so very helpful.