Changed person

[nvplap91]

My son has completed one year in the Navy.  I had always been told that enlistees come back a different person, more respectful, responsible, etc.  He had always been a great young man, already respectful, considerate, etc., so I was expecting an even "better" person. 

I went to his boot camp graduation and he was so much more interested in fnally being able to text friends at home, spending his money, getting a laptop.  Gave him the benefit of the doubt, knowing how important the connection to friends is. 

When he returned home from his next assignment at A school, he was even more removed from his family.  We walked in a room, he walked out.  We asked him a question, he gave a one word response, if even that much.  We sat down to our family dinner, he ate, didn't engage in conversation, and walked away after he finished his meal. 

He was not only this way with his immediate family, but also with extended family.  Everyone says the same thing, "He is present physically, but that's it."  His distance and defensive behavior has hurt everyone, all those that have been supporting him for the past year, and prior to that. 

He has destroyed the relationship with his younger brothers. 

We've tried to talk to him to figure this out and work on things and try to understand what is going on but we are at our wits end.  He just sounds like a bunch of bogus excuses of "I'm tired"  "it is hard to go between military life and civilian life" in light of the fact that he behaves like a different person when friends come around or being able to find the energy to spend time with friends.

I've heard of this very behavior when a person has been deployed, but not this much prior to a deployment. 

Has anyone dealt with this?

What else could be bringing this on?

[Craig]

nvplap91 -
If my son did as you describe, I would sit him down and ask him if he's doing "spice". He has all the indications of someone using that stuff.

In the Navy right now, Spice is the #1 problem, it is running rampant. For the past several weeks there is always something about it. This week it made the front page. Spice is a synthetic version of an active ingredient in marijuana. It is non-detectable. The Navy can't find it on a random urinal test, that's why sailors are using it.

To show you how quick this stuff is catching on, over at www.NavyDads.com, there are two dads that recently lost their sailors (ie they died) to Spice. The father of one of those sailors posted a great post about it, just go there and search on "Spice".

Please don't think I saying your son is using Spice. All I'm saying is I would sit him down and have a heart-to-heart and discuss this with him. Tell him that he shows the same action as someone that uses it. Maybe this will open the door on other things that may be causing him to act this way.

Here is this weeks front page of the Navy Times....

[Anti M]

Our city passed an ordinance banning Spice. The stuff sold here is damiana based, but probably full of synthetics.

His behavior does seem to indicate some sort of altering chemical. There could be other psychological reasons, but I'm no doctor and would hesitate to guess at them. I take it this is a major change in personality?

Switching between military and civilian life is not that big of a leap for most sailors.

Craig's suggestion to try to talk to him is a very good one indeed. (This reply was supposed to go under his...)

[nvplap91]

Thank you Craig, thank you Anti M. Hope it isn't the cause, but will definitely look into. Thanks again for your time and valuable info.

[Anna]

maybe military one source could help you locate resources or a counselor for him.
http://www.militaryonesource.com/MOS/About/CounselingServices.aspx

you may be able to call a counseling facility directly on his base and ask them for advice as well. im not sure how any of that would work with regard to confidentiality and everything but they might be able to give you some leads.