Family Opinions About Moving...Grr.

[Meridith_21]

So, my husband starts BC next month then heads to Pensacola for A-school. After A school I plan on moving to wherever his PCS orders are. My family is convinced that he will be sent to a ship right away and question my decision to go ahead and move to wherever our duty station is. Their argument is that I would be alone and have to do alot of stuff by myself and that I would not know "anyone". I am actually excited to move to a new place and get established in the place we will call home for the next few years. My family thinks I should stay with my current job while he is possibly "out on deployment". Any advice regarding this?

[Stephanie]

My husband has been in Great Lakes, Illinois for the past year and 2 month in boot camp and A-school. I've been living in north Carolina. Now in feb 14th (Valentine's Day) he is moving to Virginia, and I plan on keeping my job here and just traveling back and forth each month. Honestly, I am horrified of not having my job and not having that income. I dont see how anyone afford to move to a different state with no job. I have plenty of bills to pay, plus my husband and I are trying to save $. If I moved with him we would not be able to have extra $ to save. So I think you just have to do what's right for u and your man.

[Stephanie]

Sorry for the typos- I typed that pretty fast, lol.

[Meridith_21]

No worries about the typos. We have been saving, so we have a sizeable amount saved up. I am a teacher, so I think it will be pretty easy to find a job in the area where we moved ( which is why I am not too worried. If I had a different job I would definitely be more concerned.) At least VA and NC are reasonably close. I live in OK and he will be in Fl for sure then probably east or west coast after. Do you plan on moving to VA in the future or stay in NC?

[EmilyNicole98]

How long is his A school? I'm not sure what exactly you mean by "he will be sent to a ship right away"....he will be, immediately after A school. Unless you mean deployed? That is also a very real possibility, it happened with my husband in 2012. He got his orders a few weeks into A school, came home for a week after graduation, and then immediately flew out and was deployed for the next six months. I can name a few dozen others who also had the same situation, and that's just from the small pool of people I talk with.

As soon as he gets his orders, find out what his ship is doing. There are places online to find out if it's out to sea or docked and when it last went out. Surface, anyway. That should give you a few weeks heads up as to what's going to happen to him. Join the local wives pages on Facebook and perhaps you can get some information that way. It will be very easy to see if it's about to go out on a deployment from their posts. You won't be able to connect with the FRG until he checks in, so Facebook will be your best bet for a resource. 

As far as jobs go, it can be next to impossible for a military spouse to find one. I saw that you're a teacher, so your degree will give you a decent leg up over everyone else. But even with a degree, certain duty stations will be very difficult to secure a job. His paycheck should be enough to support you regardless, but just remember to keep your expectations in check (The majority of wives don't work and most have kids..so if they can survive on a single paycheck, you'll be okay too)!

You sound like you would be fine being alone during a deployment. Some cannot handle it and move home to have the extra support, but the majority stay to hold down the fort. Regardless of whether or not he's there with you, you still will not know the area or any of the people...the only difference is that you could be alone instead of having him. So if that's not much of a problem for you, I think you would be okay. :) If he is gone, you would have tons of time to explore and find things to do when he returns home along with getting everything settled. Plus, the spouses typically become extra close during deployments, meaning it would be easier to make friends. 

I also saw your discussion post about sea duty and shore duty. I'll put my answer here to make things easier. :)

Almost everyone starts out on sea duty and has to work for several years before getting shore duty. For example, my husbands rotation is 5 years sea and then 3 years shore. Some do start out on shore, but that is not usually the norm. Your husband will likely be assigned to a ship that may already be deployed, have plans to deploy soon, have no immediate plans to deploy, or be in drydock (maintenance period that lasts about a year and the ship is not able to go out to sea). Also keep in mind that in addition to deployments, there are underways. These are also called work ups. He may go out for a week, two weeks, a month, etc. These are just small trips, he won't go far. Surface deployments are typically 6-9 months and I would expect 2-3 in a 4 year span. Subs usually go out for 3 months but they go out 2-3 times a year, maybe more. My husband is on a carrier so that's where most of my knowledge lies. The amount of communication varies greatly based on which ship he's assigned. 

As far as I know, every ship has a concrete homeport. Did you hear from somewhere that some don't? Not sure what that meant. He will get PCS orders to wherever his ship is stationed, yes. Some of these include San Diego, Norfolk, several in Washington, Hawaii, Guam, Japan, etc. They're all over. You will live in that area for as long as his orders are, with a few complicated and rare exceptions I won't get into. The average length is 3-4 years for a set of orders.

I think that's everything. Do not let either of your families, or anyone else, dictate your decisions. If you feel comfortable moving with him immediately, deployed or not, go for it! Good luck with your journey! 

[Meridith_21]

Thanks for all the info Emily! His A and C schools total 5 months and are both in Pensacola. So I was going to stay put until his training is over and just move to his PCS location when he gets the orders. Yes, I did mean deployed (getting used to all this new lingo!). When your husband received his orders did you move immediately or wait for him to return from his deployment? The job thing does worry me, but like you said with his pay and BAH even if I don't find one right away it would be fine (we have been saving too, just in case!). I am excited to move to a new place, I have lived in OK most of my life and ready for something new, even if I have to explore by myself at first! ha. As far as the home ports are concerned, I saw it on the Navy's website  http://www.navy.mil/navydata/ships/lists/homeport.asp. But I clicked on some of the names and it looks like they are mostly little supply ships, so nothing he would be assigned to. 

[Anti M]

One more thing to research: which states have reciprocity for teaching certificates.  I do know that in Hawaii, they have a program to help employ military spouses who are teachers.  Other states may have this as well.  There is always substitute teaching too.  I have done that overseas in DoDD schools and loved it.

I love that you are excited about moving!  And you will have your new Navy family to fall back on, some of the Family Readiness Groups are terrific.  

Coming back from deployment, it sure is nice for them to be able to go to an established home.  This is not true for every couple, but in my experience, it was a plus for sailors to know they had their own place with a spouse waiting for them to just relax and return to normal.  Again, that varies, something to talk over as a couple.

[EmilyNicole98]

You're so welcome! You have a good chunk of time to get acclimated. Things will start moving lightening fast once he gets his orders! Over the next few months, start thinking about logistics details, such as if you want to live off base or on base (of course this could change depending on where you go, but it's good to have a general idea). You're going to have a ton to do once he knows where he's going, so it will help to have some of these decisions made. 

We were actually engaged at the time he received his orders and I was halfway through a college school year, so I stayed at home. A month after he got back from his deployment, he flew home and we got married and I moved out there. Everything was very fast too, we had less than a month's notice that we would be deploying. So it would have been very hard to move, married or not! Feasible, but difficult! It was nice to be home and surrounded by familiar faces and places during his deployment too, but it didn't make a crucial impact. I'll be staying here alone when he goes out again instead of going home. 

Oh okay, I think I know what you mean now. I haven't even heard of the majority of ships on that page! I also noticed it's not entirely accurate, it needs to be updated because there's been some movements that aren't reflected on there.. I'm not sure what exactly the ships without a port do, some of them may be ones that are being decommissioned or are back ups. Our base is like a grave yard with a ton of ships that do nothing and they aren't listed under our base on there, so they might be listed under the "no port" section for whatever reason. Hmm. Anyway, I would plan on him not getting assigned to one of those, lol. 

I'm so glad to see that you are excited to move! Attitude makes all the difference. If you have a strong local Facebook page, it will be incredibly easy to get used to a new place. That's how I found out about the best off base housing, restaurants, grocery stores, things to do, etc. :) 

[Anti M]

The USNS ships are merchant marine, our sailors do not go to those.  I know the Curtiss is decommed, so I assume the few others are also.  Anything with "T-AK" or similar are container ships, again, not where our sailors are assigned.

[Meridith_21]

I have been looking into reciprical certification, and it looks like most states honor it. We have already been browsing housing options in the homeport areas...Florida would be awesome!! We are over planners so like to get as much info as we can. I am finding out just how difficult that is with military life. Thanks for all the advice! Really appreciate it.

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

I haven't read the replies you've gotten, so I apologize if I'm repeating.  There is absolutely no way to know if he will be sent to a ship straight away or not.  There's no way to know if they will fly him out to a ship as soon as he graduates.  If you're excited to go, GO!  I was excited to go to, and would have even if he'd been deployed right away.  If it makes your family feel better, you can tell them you'll wait to make a final decision until he gets final orders, which would be in the last few weeks of A School.  Once he gets his orders, you will know what ship he's on and you can contact the ombudsman for info on deployment/etc and he can contact the command and find out what you expect.  

As I'm finding out more and more each day, you have you do what you think is best for you.  No one else can know.  

Best of luck!

[Jenn_NicksWifey]

But even if you tell your family you'll wait to make a final decision, if you know you're pretty sure you want to move, go ahead and get the ball rolling.  Don't wait until he gets orders to start packing.  Just be mindful about cancellation policies and refund possibilities when making arrangements.  

[Meridith_21]

We have been told (possible recruiter lie) that since he has a degree already he will come out of BC as an E-3 and at A-School when his orders come up he will talk to a detailer instead of just getting assigned. Do you guys know if there is any truth to this? If so, would we potentially have some options to look at available billets and reasearch the activity of different ships and then make a decision?