Feeling Frustrated with my Daughter

[Kootiebear]

My daughter's first DEP meeting is today.  Excited to hear what she thinks. As excited as I am to hear how the meeting went I am also very frustrated with her right now.  My husband and I talked to her last night because she is having trouble balancing all of the commitments she has pulling at her.   She is in her Senior year of high school.  When she did her schedule last year she put down a lot of AP classes and Calculus (this was before she decided on the Navy and was thinking about college).  She does not need the math requirement, but her ego wanted to take the Calculus class. My husband and I advised her against all the AP classes but of course she did not listen to us.  She has been in school a month and she is having trouble with the Calculus class plus the AP English class.  Along with that she belongs to NHS and the teacher in charge of if feels NHS comes above all else.  She works at a fast food place and 2 of her classes require volunteering as part of her grade.  Her solution is not to do her homework in her AP English class claiming she does not have time.  Of course my husband and I told her that homework is not an option.  We reminded her that she chose this schedule even though we advised her against it.  Her recruiter also said he would be checking in on how she is doing in school.  We told her to talk to her AP English teacher and we reminded her that if she does not have time to do her homework than extra curricular activities will go away.  We told her it is not possible for her to do it all, so she needs to start making some smart choices and blowing off homework is not one of them.  Just wondering if anyone else has had any problems like this?  Any advice would be appreciated.

[Dennis]

Time to go see her school con, no diploma, no Navy.

[Rero]

Those AP courses can be really stressful. My daughter dropped one course because she wanted to remain in her extra-curricular activities. The recruiter will keep an eye and in a couple weeks it should become clear if those coursesshould be dropped or not.

[J'sMom]

I understand this all too well.  My son is struggling too.  He is taking college English this year and it is tough.  He thought about dropping it, but didn't want that on his transcript.  He has some friends that are stepping up to help him out.  He is also so tired and not managing his time well.  He has high school, college English, football, part-time jobs (2), and DEP.  My husband and I are letting him quit at least 1 of his part time jobs.  He has his whole life to work, and we want him to enjoy his senior year and not be stressed out.  Can she give up the part time job?  I would hate to see her grades fall.

[Anti M]

I agree, if the money is not being used to keep the family housed and fed, she should give up the fast food job.  Her "job" right now is to finish high school and to prepare for the Navy.  

Honestly, even if she gets the chance to attend college part time while active duty, her high school courses and grades count for next to nothing.  I was a drop out with a GED, and went to college. I had zero high school transcripts, they only wanted my GED scores and my ACT score (not even SAT, not that passing it would have been a problem).   I used my college courses to get a high school diploma to get the Navy program I wanted.  But once she's in the military, she becomes a non-traditional student and all the high school courses mean little to nothing, except on a personal level.  She needs ot graduate, but does not need to keep a killer schedule.

[Bobbie]

I went through this with my son last year.  He struggled badly with too many irons in the fire.  He finally was convinced that dropping some of those AP classes and trading them out for the regular classes that were required for graduation was the way to go.  He did not need those classes and the college credit only applied to certain colleges that would accept the credits, which they do not have to.  Going into the Navy changed the whole outlook on what he needed to finish high school. He was able to have a stress free senior year and enjoy just having fun for the year before his commitment to the Navy began.  He worked his part time job so that he had extra money to play a little more!  In hindsight, I'm SO glad he did this because that was the last year of his life to be a teenager and there are no regrets. He's at boot camp right now with only 2 weeks to go and then on to A school.  They will never have that carefree time again in their lives...encourage them to enjoy it!

[Kootiebear]

When we talked to her on Tuesday we suggested she go to the teacher and talk to her one on one.  We told her now that she realizes her schedule may be too tough she needs to make smart decisions about what to change.  We can guide her but she needs to learn how to make these decisions herself to prepare for future situations like this.  We cannot bail her out and her bailing on homework is not the answer.  My husband followed up with the teacher and apparently the teacher is having trouble with the whole class.  The teacher suggested that since our daughter is not going the college route she should change into a regular English class.  My daughter has had this teacher before and she is known to be tough.  She was not the AP English teacher last year and the previous teacher was known for being too easy on the students.  Our daughter said the teacher revised the assignment because more than one student complained about having other responsibilities like our daughter.  We told her the next step is to get this assignment done and go talk to her counselor at school.  My husband emailed the counselor to tell her our daughter would be requesting an appointment. We will see what she does next.