First duty station!!!!???

[Kayla (Dann's Wifey)]

My husband got stationed at NAS oceana here in Va beach, this is my first time moving away from the south, it's a big sacrifice not being able to see family and friends but its also something a Navy wife has to do. I understand that we have to be strong, but it's so hard. I've been her for a couple months now and it just doesn't seem like anything is getting better. Any advice would be great, I know that they have wives groups but I have a 2 year old so it's not that easy to just get up and go, and I'm certain there is so many other women on here going through the same thing I'm going through. Help!

[BR549]

NAS Oceana is in the South, the people in the Hampton Roads area are Very Southern, you'll feel right at home.

[Kayla (Dann's Wifey)]

Well I dont live that close to the base, it doesn't feel like the south whatsoever, maybe it's just where I'm living.

[BunkerQB]

1. Here is a group for Duty Station NAS Oceana, VA Beach. (just click on this link)
2. Here are a number of groups for wives.
Navy Wives on N4M
Girlfriends, Fiances and Wives of Sailors
3. Other VA groups.
Ladies of VA
Norfolk Sailors - Family & Friends

I am sure there are wives with young children in your area. Please take Hoppi's advice - get out and do things. Find a play group for the kids. Take them to the local library - most have reading hours for young toddlers. Sign them up for gymboree (or equivalent). I too remember difficulties being a new person away from family and support system. But it will get better. Please feel free to drop by the New Moms Stop Here. There are many of us there to keep you company.

[Kayla (Dann's Wifey)]

Thank you all for your advice. My son and I went to the local library today for the first time, and to the pool. I try to do something fun for him each and every day, so he is quite happy, but like you both said, Imost definately need to find other navy wives with kids.

[bryan]

I was stationed at VFA-34 on NAS Oceana. I had fun there in the squadron and wife trouble adapting to being up there. But you can go to Washington DC, Baltimore, Busch Gardens, Paramount Amusement Park, alot of historical things to see up there. Each squadron has an ombudsman so if you can get the name of where he works you can look them up on the internet. Almost everyone unit the wives get together once a month.

[Lynne]

Hi Kayla
I gotta say, that I am originally from Connecticut so I consider Va beach part of the south, HAHA! ok, I will get serious now. :)
Are you on base or off? I used to live off base as a navy wife and I think living off base is a bit harder, becasue you are living in amongst the local community and sometimes the community is not as welcoming to navy people. Some Civilians do not understand how it goes for navy families and how navy families move and how they have to continually start over in a new location and attempt to fit in...I have never lived on base, but based on my experience living off base, I have definitley gone through some lonely times. If you have not moved yet, I would consider living on base, (yes, you lose your off base housing money) but what you GAIN are neighbors, usually with small kids, who are in the same boat as you...and your neighbors are looking for the same things you are looking for, and friendships develop and you become tight. When husbands get deployed, you have all your navy neighbors who are there for you and vice versa...again, living off base, "regular" families stay in tact all year long, and dont realize as much, that you are alone with small kids...THAT is when it gets tough living off base.
As a Navy wife, you are among many mothers who have small children...the trick is to find where the moms are hanging out. Your husband's squadron (which, by the way, my husband was a pilot, so we were also stationed at an NAS, lol) Your husband's squadron should have a wives club...now getting together at a wives club is ok, (personally, it was not my "cup of tea", to be involved in a wives club SORRY to all wives who are active in a wives club!) But the thing about wives clubs, is that you get to meet the other wives in your husband's squadron and when they go on deployment, you are all on your own...but you all have one another. So get your husband to inquire about a wives club in the suadron, and get to know some of the wives..you may be pleasently surprised to hear how many of these wives are also moms.

Now my husband was an officer, and I don't know if it is the same for officers and enlisted personelle, but the COs wife usually gave me a call to welcome me into the squadron each time we were transferred. That usually got things rolling, lol.

The best thing I can tell you as a former Navy wife, is that it is really important to find your own identity, something that is adaptable to your somewhat transient lifestyle. Navy wives certainly DO sacrifice a lot in following their husbands all over the world. Being a Navy wife certainly IS hard, not every woman can live this kind of life. That is why it is really crucial to have your own identity, and to never let go of whatever your own PASSION is. Never give it up. Your family "back home" will always be a plane ride away, and a mere button away (on skype, lol). Let's put it this way, you are now giving your family an excuse to take a vacation to VA!! LOL, right?? My family loved it when I lived in San Diego, becasue that was the year they came out and got to see The Tonight Show in person, LOL...(your welcome Mom and Dad, lol)

Anyway, you are not alone....so many young navy wives/mothers are thinking the same exact thing...so why not have a great big cookout at your house/apt/or the community park and invite the families ...if no one is extending the welcome aboard sign, YOU GUYS (oops, you are from the south, I meant to say...Y'ALL) Y'ALL get togehter and have a cookout...pot luck, and BYOB...that sort of stuff, and then see what happends. But the best thing I can say, is to really, never lose your OWN dreams in life, ok? Take care!

[Lynne]

ahh, the ombudsman does the honors...I had a feeling it was different. So Kayla's Husband needs to pass on some info to the ombudsman. In my situation, (years ago) my husband's COs just happened to always be male, so it was always the wives contacting me...just my personal experience, hope I did not offend anyone :)

[always waiting]

Hey, I sent you a message, but I figured I would reply to your discussion too. I'm from Ohio and we've only been down here two months so I understand how hard it is to be away from family and "home". DH and I don't have any children yet, we want to wait until he's off sea duty, but I have two siblings under 8 and two nieces under 4, so I understand kids more than some people who don't have any. If you ever need to hang out with someone, as long as you don't mind that I don't have kids, I am free most of the time and live in Virginia Beach. I don't have a job yet and I don't start school until the fall, so I am almost always available! I hope things get better for you!

[AlwaysReady]

Kayla and Lauren please send me a message, I would love for you both to join my friends and I in our little Navy wives group. Some of us are on N4Ms, some have kids, some dont, some of us have husbands that are deployed some not, various times in the Navy ect. It would be tons of fun. We are very open to newbies, we want everyone to have friends and feel at home while they are with us!

[Lisa Ann]

Hey Ladies, I live in Virginia Beach in Base housing. I live in Wadsworth Shores and am looking for other ladies in the area to meet. My husband is now stationed in Norfolk, but we will not be moving. Send me a message if you are looking to have a play date or even just meet up for coffee.

[always waiting]

Hi Lisa,
I live in an apartment complex in VA Beach. DH is stationed in Norfolk on the Bush.