HELP!!! I think my future recruit is in denial!

[Invisible12]

I don't know where to turn. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that my son will be leaving for bootcamp in September, but now I'm starting to realize that maybe he really doesn't know what he's getting himself into. For instance, last nite we were talking about selling his car before he leaves and he said he'd like to buy a car from a guy that we know maybe next year. I asked him if he realizes that once he leaves, he's gone for 4 years, with the exception of the times he does get to come home for visits (which I'm sure are not often.) His answer was "I don't know." Of course, I started to cry. My question is - are most kids (I call him a kid even though he's 22) naive about what they're getting into? I'm so panicked that he's going to think he made a mistake and will be miserable when reality sets in. If anyone has any advice - PLEASE SHARE! I'm so sad that my first born is leaving and to think of him being "there" and regretting his decision just makes me sick to my stomach. Sorry if I sound like an overbearing mother - I'm just so worried for him. Thanks for listening!

[LeeLee]

My reply was to Lady Hamilton.  You are right it is nice to vent and that growing up is over rated.  Allie is my baby also....I feel your pain.  Your feelings are yours so they are not wrong they are what they are.  At this moment in time I wish all three of my children where still five and under at home in bed sleeping.  Yes, empty nest is here and it is cruel.

[Dawna]

I think you are wrong on one point.  Just because your son is paving his own way and leaving school to work in the oilfields doesn't mean that you have no infuence.  You have more influence than he is willing to admit.  You've raised an independent young man who wants to make his own way, but all of the lessons you have instilled in him are what is driving him.  Your influence made him who he is, and he will probably ask your opinions on lots of things, some he will follow your advise, some he won't.

[ChrisAmo]

They all go in without any real idea of what to expect. My son was 28 when he went off to boot camp (talk about a late bloomer!). He'd already graduated from college, traveled the world and worked at a wide variety of jobs, and joining the Navy was a long-delayed dream, but he had NO idea what he was getting into! Even at that age. There was a lot of "What have I got myself into?" and "I think this has been a terrible mistake" etc. but now he's been in 3 years, just back from deployment, visited 5 countires and looks like he's going to make a career of it. Somehow they survive boot camp and A school and C school and all the training and the tests and your son will do too. Courage!

[Invisible12]

That eases my mind a bit.  How long did it take him to get over the "what have I gotten myself into."  I'm sure that once I see and hear that my son sounds happy and passed the regrets, then I'll be relieved and happy.  It's just the initial fear that he's going to be so homesick.  I know I sound crazy but I can't help it....LOL

[aveoamare(Ship02div925)]

I have to chime in here, my husband is 33 and he graduates on May 6.  The day he left he was in tears.  He asked me if he was making the right decision.  I have to agree, I don't think it matters how old you are, no one is prepared to make a commitment to join the military.  I mean, there is NO getting out of this one. 

 

However, my husband is adjusting very well to life in boot camp.  He is making wonderful friends, and although he is still nervous about his future, he seems to be positive.  He writes to me about life in the sub, how they have a game room and things like that. 

 

I think joining the navy is a very mature decision.  They will prepare your son for anything he is going to face and he will enjoy his time in service!

[aveoamare(Ship02div925)]

I don't mean that they don't make the commitment, obviously, they do.   Perhaps making such a blanketed statement was incorrect, however I do feel that it is a fear that crosses a lot of minds.  Getting a job in the civilian world is something you can quit.  Taking a job in the military means you are making a huge commitment.  That decision would be a difficult one to make at any point in your life. 

 

I did go on to say though, that boot camp prepares you for what lies ahead, they will prepare the recruits and get rid of any doubts.

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

aveo...boot also prepares the family for long periods of no communication and for not knowing what is going on and learning how to depend on theirself for things...not the recruit

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

invisible...nope not crazy at all very valid concerns. The "what have I gotten myself into feeling" usually goes away by week 3...your first letter is usually gonna be sad, scared, worried (but not always...some love boot camp from the beginning say it's like summer camp)

They all pretty much are homesick....just expect that but soon they start to get into the routine and start to bond with their division-mates.

The first call will be hard...you have GOT to be strong for that. Many rcts are tearful and many N4M's are tearful as well BUT you do not want to waste valuable phone time crying so....do your best not to cry, besides if you start to cry your rct will definitely start. Keep a pen and paper by the phone to write down what they say...you'll be so glad to hear their sweet voice you won't remember much of what they say

[TN Navy Mom (Stennis Nuke Mom)]

About those rare phone calls, I made a list of questions and posted it on the refrigerator door and kept a copy in my purse (never know where you might be when that phone rings).  The giddiness at seeing that area code would cause me to forget what I meant to ask/say.  It also helped prompt me to stay with the conversation and get away from the "weepys".

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

TN Navy....great idea

[Invisible12]

TN Navy - Would you mind me asking what kinds of questions you wrote down.  I know that there's so much I'll want to know but I'm afraid I'll be so all over the place that I won't remember to ask certain things.

[Invisible12]

JessicaB - I start to cry just reading what you wrote. LOL.  I don't know why I'm so weepy.  I've never been like this.  But you're right - I don't want to waste valuable phone time crying.  That's a great idea about keeping a pen and paper by the phone.  Thank you for making me feel "not so crazy."