help please

[Solara]

Hi

Im john im obviously not a mom but i want to join the navy and i am having a hard time trying getting support from my family on doing so. none of them want me to join the navy and are trying to stop me (not letting me have access to documents i need, etc...)... i believe this is something i want to do but i want my family's support in the process. i figured this would be a good place to try and get some advice. please any help is greatly appreciated

[Emily Burt]

John, it is hard for parents (I think specially moms) to let go of thier children. They are you life for many years and the thought of them leaving is hard to bear. Not just the fear of them being in the military while the country is at war. I respect your decision. Maybe you have had family that was in the military and could talk to them. I was very upset when my son left for bootcamp last March. It was the hardest thing not knowing when the next time would be that we would talk. That time at BC went very slow but now things are good. He is stationed close enough to home that he drives home for weekends every now and then. I agree that you should bring them on this website and let them read some of our thoughts. Good Luck to you, Emily.

[Levi's Mom]

John, As a mom, I understand your families feelings but as a daughter, I understand yours as well. As much as it pains me to admit it, your feelings are the most important here. My son joined the Navy. I was very surprised and I cried fro 48 hours before I came to terms with it. It was not what I wanted but I was never allowed to do what I wanted so I never even let him know how badly I didn't want him to do this until, of course, I couldn't stop crying and even then I told him I would be fine as long as he is happy. Your family is also right about never knowing what the Navy will have you to do next. That has been the hardest part on me but as part of the military, you the enlisted, learn to deal with it and it doesn't seem to bother most that much. Us as family, we are just your support structure anyway and if you can deal, we can deal. Just know that the Navy is not an easy path and be ready to stand by your choice because once you sign you belong to them. I believe without a doubt that your family will support you. I know as a parent I didn't want to encourage it and then it be the wrong choice for my son. This is a decision that only you can make and you must be responsible for that decision and make the best of it because it will be tough but rewarding. I, like the other moms her, will support you all the way through. If you get me your address while you are in boot camp, I'll write you very regualrly and support you as long as you need and fade away when you don't. May God bless and keep you and guide you in your path. Much love to you and your family.

[navywifecooper]

Im not a parent, but my Husband is in the Navy. And the day he told me he wanted to join i cried my eyes out! I didn't want to be away from him at long periods of time and i certainly didnt want him at war. But then i thought, He is taking on something bigger than his life, to save others and for our freedom. This feeling (as a sailor) is going to be the best feeling you could ever feel! Just knowing you are risking you life for millions of others. Your parents may not approve (as my husbands mom didnt) But its your life not theres, and you have to make the choices you want in life. If its not something you want after your in, its only 4 years.. what harm could it have done? NONE, you will become a better person. Just the experiences you will go threw are life changing ( in a good way!) I couldn't be any prouder of my husband. He is truly my hero, and no matter how far he is, or how long apart we may be, I will always be here for him 100%! Not only is he just my hero, but all the people who are in military our my hero. And that is what everyone will see you as! If this is something you truly honestly want, then you need to let your parents know how you feel on the situation and that you want to take on something that is bigger than you! Let them know you will be okay ( cause you will be!) And if it helps any let them know this... There is one thing i loved about the Navy, and this is.. if you ever have to go out to sea, they invite the family to tour the ship and see where you as a sailor will be living and what life is like on the ship. Also, if your a CNA, you can be that in the Navy. Not all jobs go to war to fight, they go to help others, and with your experiences as a CNA, that would be a great job to have in the Navy. Just let your parents know, your NOT throwing your life away. Your making it better. Hope this helps!

[Dean's Mom]

What is their reasons for not wanting you to join?

[Tom's mom]

John,

You have made a great decision. Congratulations! My son decided he wanted to join the Navy when he was 15! I have always supported his decision because I knew that this career would make his happy and he would be fulfulled with his choice. As a mother, that's all that I can ask for my kids. Is there a mutual friend that supports you in your decision - a teacher, clergy member, or a current service member? My son was very comfortable with his recruiter and talked with him frequently. We had many talks with his also before my son joined and while he was in DEP. You need to present a strong case when talking with your parents. Try making a list of the pros and cons before you talk with them again. Steady employment, great benefits, lifelong friends and educational opportunities are just a ffew of the pros. Cons do include the possibility of being in a war zone and being stationed overseas. Every job has its good and bad points no matter what the job is. Like others have said, if you are over 18, can can get the documents you need to enlist and your recruiter can be a great source of assistance in this area.

Good luck, John. We'll pray that your parents will understand your decision and support you in your career choice!

[Mary]

Considering that Solara (John) has not responded since Feb 3rd, I think he should listen to his family. This navy family jumped in to help this seeking soul because that is who we are, but not everyone is cut out for the uniform. Blessings John, may you find your way.

[Solara]

Hi its John
So here is the update
I had decided to listen to my parents. Also do to the fact that things were going well at work, I got a raise and a lead position and things were looking up..... and all in this short time it all turned back around and my job got miserable due to a management shift and poor morale do to job cuts so people are writing people up for little things. So i have gotten all the necessary paperwork and documents and I am back in talks with my recruiter. I took the ASVAB and got an 85 and am starting to workout to get in shape( i don't meet weight by 25 lbs and need more endurance ). I have told my family about this site and emailed them the link and i know that they looked cause they mentioned that my post was featured right on the front page so hopefully they read some good stuff. I also looked into other branches but they wouldn't even talk to me till i met weight. So i am working on it and trying to stay afloat being as i live by myself so it is hard but i still believe this is something i want so i am going to push for it.

Thanks for your support!!!
John
P.S. : If they don't fully support me at least i have a whole lot of navy moms behind me!!! : )

[Navy Aunt (AF Wife)]

Hello John! I just wanted to tell you that I am from a military family and have had someone in every branch except for the Coast Guard and I have never heard ANY of them EVER say they regretted serving in the armed forces. On the flip side, I've heard the regrets on not making it a career. There are many reasons to join and yes, some do join because they don't know what they want to do with their life. But life is short and you have to live it!!!!!! Yes, you could get injured or killed while serving, but the same could happen in your civilian life. Only you can make this decision--it is YOUR life. As in all things, there are pros and cons to the military life. It is in my opinion that the pros will always outweigh the cons. I wish you luck. I wish your family some peace as they are struggling with the idea of you going into the military. I think it is wise to check out all your options. Robin (Ali's Mom) has posted a good point that you may want to consider. You and your family may want to sit down together and view the boot camp videos (part 1 &2) that are located on this site. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do! And you have another volunteer letter writer in me! : )

[Mommacat]

Hey, John. My son had to lose 27 pounds to meet weight when he was in DEP. He did it, and you can too. Don't starve. Just eat more veggies and fruits and cut back on snacks and carbs and avoid anything fried. Our son just quit the convenience store snacking and gave up soft drinks and started exercising. Go for it!!

[Robin (Ali's Mom)]

John ...as a cna...have you thought about doing the ROTC thing in college...let the Navy pay for your college...get a degree...maybe in Nursing...and then go in as an Officer...by that time you would be (assuiming you are 18-20 now)...24 - 26 years old...little influence mom and dad will have by that time...it gives you more time to think on it and mom and dad more time to accept???

[Solara]

I have thought about doing that and asked my recruiter about it and he said i was not eligible to do that. he said it was because i was 3 yr out from graduating ( is that true). Also i didn't do very well in high school so I have had a hard time getting into a 4 year school so i tried community college and with having to work full time (at least) it is very difficult and at the rate i am going it will take me 8 years to just get an associates degree not to mention I am not even sure if i want to continue with the medical field!!! I am driving myself crazy trying to figure it out and i don't want to end up like some of my co workers whom are 30+ with family's, still in school and are doing what i am at 21.

[2 in the service]

One of the Navy's slogans is "Accelerate your life". It sounds like you are ready to do that! Work on getting in shape physically and keep in touch with your recruiter to explore career possibilities. You will find the fit for you. If something else comes along in the mean time, your interest in the Navy will have already helped you find your passion and moved your life forward! Everyone is cheering for you!