Help! We are clueless!

[trustinginGod]

Hi! I am quite new to this site and trying to read through the various discussions, but I have not yet found specific information. My son is scheduled to meet with a recruiter this Wed. 12/29 to sign a "temporary" contract to see if he likes the Navy. My husband and I, much to my son's chagrin, would like to participate in this recruiting process to ask questions, etc. Is it protocol to invite a recruiter into our home? My son (20 almost 21)is extremely independent and wants to make these decisions on his own, but we are so apprehensive about the terms of the contract. What questions should he be asking? What should he look for in this contract? Please, please help...and thank you in advance.

[Angie]

Temporary contract?  Never heard of that, they either go active duty or into the reserves.  There is no trial time to see if you like the USN, once you are in you are in. 

 

As far as inviting the recrutier that is up to your son, he is legally an adult and if he wants to talk to the recruiter and make these decisions on his own that is up to him

 

As for the contract he will sign that at MEPS, not the recruiting station.  He will have to go to MEPS they do medical exam, he talks to a person about a job, than if he likes the job they offer him he signs the contract.

[Craig]

Wow, I've never heard of a "temporary" contract, unless you call 4, 5, or 6 years temporary.  If he doesn't like the Navy after 4, 5, or 6 years, then he can get out.  His contract is completed, he has done his time.

 

One thing that freaks out most new deppers is they will read in their contract that they are signing up for 8 years.  This is normal, EVERYONE signs up for 8 years.  Some will do:

4 years active, 4 years inactive = 8 years or

5 years active, 3 years inactive = 8 years or

6 years active, 2 years inactive = 8 years

Yes, invite the recruiter to your home.  They have no problem with that.  Get the coffee pot on, get the fresh baked cookies out and talk the recruiters ear off.  That is their job, and a nice cup of coffee really hits the spot for them when they are just yaking.  Sometimes they are busy, but just ask if they could come over to discuss the Navy with your family.  Remember, your son is an adult, and he's the one that has the final say if he will join or not.  But it doesn't prevent you of asking questions, just to give you an idea what the Navy is all about. 

Your son also needs to do his research too.  You came here at N4M looking for answers, your son should check out some of the deppers websites out their to gain the knowledge he needs too.  It's a two way street.  The depper helping his parents, and the parents helping their depper. 

Just my thoughts...

[Marybeth]

 

I think the "temporary" contract you are referring to is the Delayed Entry Program (DEP)... the contract lasts up to 1 year from the date he signs / is sworn in.  Yes, he can decide to not join the Navy before his ship date... and yes, it has the potential to reflect poorly on him if he does not join.  But let's not go there...

 

First - his "Delayed Entry" could be a couple of months, or (again), it could be up to a year.  It will depend entirely on your son's rate (job) and the availability of said job(s).  He will have to check in regularly (perhaps weekly) with his recruiter and meet with the other DEPPER's waiting to ship out.  

 

By all means invite the recruiter over - or go to their office if it's close by.   My son signed his DEP contract while he was still in High School (so therefore I signed it too).  While I was confident in my son's choice to join the Navy, my husband wasn't quite "at ease" with it (pun not intended but LOL anyway!)  After an hour with the recruiter sitting at our table - I found out that I knew very little about how the whole active/reserves/ROTC thing worked, and my husband was much more comfortable with James' decision. 

 

Questions to ask (this is coming from a mom - the things that were swirling around in my head): 

What types of jobs is he qualified for? (that will be based on his ASVAB score)

How does his training / job translate into the civilian world - what will he be able to do with his skills after 4, 6, 10 or 20 years?

Are there any sign on bonuses? (not all jobs have them)

How long is the schooling, and where? 

 

As the discussion evolves more questions will come. 

 

Good luck to you and your son!!  Keep us posted on the outcome... 

 

 

[ChrisAmo]

I know you want to be sure he's doing the right thing, but there comes a time when you need to step back and let him handle this. If he wants you to meet the recruiter, that's fine, but if he doesn't.....that's his choice.  If the recruiter does come to your house (and they all should be willing to do that) line up your list of questions in advance, but let your son take the lead. As far as the Navy's concerned he's an adult and you don't want to embarrass him by acting as if he's still a child, incapable of making his own decisions. Just be sure to remind him that he should get everything in writing. Verbal promises don't count.

 

[Sandy's_sailor son]

Hello Matt's mom.

My son went into the Navy just before his 21st birthday. He turned 21 right in the middle of boot camp. (he kept that one a secret, LoL) 

My son went to the recruiter by himself. It is not that I was not interested or concerned, but I figured,  if he can't take care of himself by now, he never will. I wanted my son to drive his own career.

I think that a lot of people are afraid that the recruiter will not be honest with their son/daughter. My son found his recruiter to be very honest and helpful. 

The best of luck to your son

Sandy 

[carols_kitchen]

 We were very lucky to have a great recruiter who did spend time at our house talking over our sailor's rate and more.  We let him know we were open to our sailor going to bootcamp earlier than his date--which he was fortunate to have open up.  For two years I kept our recruiter's office filled with fresh baked cookies and fruit. Our recruiter recently moved to a new state, and I've only been in a couple more times to see the others.  We were also invited to a family DEPPER picnic, but our son left earlier than that.

Let us know what you have learned.

 

[pnc1995]

I would inquire as to exactly what is a "Temporary Contract". I have worked in recruiting for over ten years and have never heard of that.

[Mooselover (GW Mom)]

My daughter who is still a senior in high school, has decided to join the Navy. I am the one who actually called the recruiter to set up a time to meet. Since I "watch" my elderly father, I am unable to leave him alone and it's a hassle to take him anywhere, and my husband is never home at the same time everyday, so the recruiter offered to come to our house to answer our questions and meet our daughter. The recruiter is the one who actually informed me of N4M's. I found this website to be very useful in my research. I hope you have found out what you are looking for.

[trustinginGod]

Thank you all for your kind, welcoming words of advice and wisdom. We've learned  so much since I last wrote. Last week my son signed a new contract as a "Navy Seal" after passing many difficult tests and will be leaving on Sept. 8th. My husband and I have much more to learn and accept on this journey with our son. We are so very proud of him, yet so filled with apprehension.Again I am so apppreciative of your consideration, and now we covet your prayers for my son, Matthew.

[TexasSailorMom]

I was in your same position this time last year with my 17 yr old wanting to join to be a Navy Seal. After several meetings with the recruiter he took his ASVAB and signed his contract a week before his 18th birthday last July. He leaves for bootcamp in 8 days. He has spent the last 7 months working out 4 days a week, 3-4 hours a day with other spec op recruits, and taking his PST (Physical Strength Test) every month to keep his contract. It has been great for him to get to know the other recruits and has helped all of us to be better prepared for him to ship out. Good Luck, and I will add Matthew to my prayers.

[trustinginGod]

Thank you so much.Do you know if it is true that a large % of Seals do not graduate?

[Anti M]

The drop rate for SEALS is indeed very high.  But no need to fret about that, because you have to believe in your own sailor to the utmost.