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help with insight for my girlfriend.......Help plz
Views: 515
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Wheeler85 on
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For the girlfriend....
My bf is in the Navy, he's currently in bootcamp at the moment and will be graduating at the end of April. I miss him so much, and one of my main worries is about him going into war. Being apart from him though has helped our love and bond grow so strong for each other that I never thought that I could love someone that wasn't part of my family like this! For the first couple of weeks while they are at bootcamp you feel forgotton about, but that's when you need to create a bond with his family. This way you guys have each other to support each other, and pass around information that the boy may forget to write to one of you guys. But when those letters start coming, you look forward to mail day :) It's actually rather romantic to be writing snail mail again. It's something that's totally gotton out of style and needs to come back. But bootcamp is only 2 months long, and then they go to A school where they get much more liberty. After A school, they normally get 2 weeks leave (unless orders change) and then get based. I'm so extremely proud of my sailor, and this is normally something that they need to do for themselves. But remember, they are on a ship, which is much safer these days then being on land.
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Permalink Reply by Dance4God on
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To girlfriend -
Hey, I am going through the exact same thing right now. My boyfriend is also thinking of going into the navy and I honestly have to say I've been scared ever since he told me. Its hard, but once you get over the intital shock you start to realize that this could be a good thing for them. Being scared for your relationship is normal, but it will make you guys stronger guarrenteed. I have friends whos boyfriend are in the navy right now and they keep telling me everything will be ok. Just have faith and trust in your sailor and support them 100% even if you don't like the idea of them being away for so long ( i know i dont ) but im putting forth my best attitude and trying to stay positive for my boyfriend's sake. Just keep your head up girl !! We are all in this together !!! :) :) Oh.. and please join this site.. it helps A LOT!! I just recently joined and I love it !! There are a lot of people on here with a wealth of information. I've found it to get my spirits up again when im feeling upset or down about the thought of my love leaving. If you need anyone to talk to, please dont hesitate to message me.. since we are going through the same situation at the same time.
-Amanda
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Permalink Reply by maureenbfig on
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It isn't easy, I'll be honest....... My son Alex joined in August of 2008. I was so mad at him! He was born on his Dad's b-day while his dad was in the Marines. 2 weeks later, his dad left for The Gulf War. So, yeah - I was mad. Then a friend of mine, who was in the Navy told me "Mauree, where was I when your ex was in the Gulf? I was sitting on an aircraft carrier off the coast of Monte Carlo. Navy is support troops. Your son will be ok".
The time apart is rough, but if it was meant to be, and you two can get thru the seperation, the military is a great way to have a family life. Benefits are paid, guaranteed income, perks galore!
Not to mention the fact that my son can retire at 36 years old with 90% of his pay!
The military time (even tho he was in the gulf) that I had with my ex was the best throughout our whole marriage!
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Sure, if you'd like to twist it in such a way. I was quoting someone else. So, I won't take offense.
I think it is offensive, extremely poor taste, a slap in the face or grave spit to use someones request for help as a place to, NOT HELP or contribute, but to instigate.
(BTW- wikipedia is user provided content. Your link does not contain citations.)
Tyeson- I apologize if any offense was taken in that statement or in this reply. I would have replied back privately, but the above profile is set to private.
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not a problem maureen its okay thank you for you insight i appreciate it
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Amen Emma! I so agree, there are some these days that forget "Freedom is not Free." But let some one else go and fight and die for this , not a person I love...!!!
Jean, proud wife of a retired USAF E-8
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have your girlfriend go to the recruiting station with you. I was able to go with my boyfriend [now husband] and i felt very informed and was able to ask all the questions i wanted and felt very involved in everything. The hardest part will be bootcamp, since i'm sure you are used to spenting a lot of time together. but she can write you everyday and you can write her on sundays. I will be more than willing to answer any of her questions, but trust me the Navy is a great place to be for both of you.
Best wishes, Trisha
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I just wanted to make a comment on the question from a different stand point. I have been the Salior for 8 years and a saliors spouce 7 years. Both come with some knowledge.
The decision needs to be made for yourself. Ask yourself what you want to do with your life?
If she is a truley loving girlfriend then she will support you in the decisions that you make. She will be there for your letters and phone calls and be proud of what your doing. Know that your carring out your dream in life. It is a easy life and there are lot of troubling times. Your love for one another will get you through the tuff and hard times. The joy of the easier times will guide your through the harder times.
This is a way to start your life and the life together that you desire.
You will go to war and it will be on a ship. That doesnt not mean that your on the frontlines with a gun in your hands. This just means that your be supporting the ship that your on and there mission at hand. However being a SAR does mean that you will be putting yourself in harms way at times to save someone else life.
You will have to make it through 8 weeks of boot camp in Great Lakes and then to A school in PCola. Not eveyone makes it. It is not a easy school I have several friends that went to SAR school some made it and some didn't. Those that did love thier jobs and those didnt went to the fleet as something else just know that you can go back again. I wish you the best of luck on the school and the training.
If you want to know more on anything it looks like there are alot of saliors here and wife that will help you out in all your questions.
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Hey Tyeson: I will share the story of my son and his girlfriend for you guys... they met in college where he was Navy ROTC - she had a REALLY hard time adjusting to life after he received his Commission and was moved around to a number of different bases during his training. It is a very difficult balance to love someone and juggle the demands of a military career. It is pretty simple - your girlfriend has to decide if she is strong enough to handle the life style. It's not about whether she loves you enough, although, wanting you to fulfill your dreams seems to me to be part of the whole package of loving someone. She has to think that if she forbids you to do this, then there will certainly be a price to pay with your relationship! My son's girlfriend moved in with him as soon as she graduated college. They lived in 3 different states, none of which were ones they were too thrilled with, but they made the best of it. She had to give up multiple, GOOD, jobs that she got in order to stay with him. She went through, and finely adjusted to the feeling of "the navy doesn't care out us as a couple" type of thing. In fact the Navy is extremely supportive of couples and family!!! She has not been able to find a job in her field at their current location, so she is working some part time gig until he receives orders, shortly... and they will move again. She understands that most likely within the next 12 months he will be deployed - so she is making plans to attend graduate school - and there is the key - you both have lives - your girlfriend must be a very strong, independent woman, who can do her own thing for long periods of time, and support the fact that being in the Navy is your dream. They have been together for 5 years, and became engaged a couple weeks ago!!!! It can work out but it takes a lot of effort, from both of you. Please don't give up your dream!!! We need people like you!! If there is one thought I will leave you with, it is this: Follow your dream, do not give up, for one second - stay focused and never let up .... if she is the right one, she will be standing right there at the finish line to cheer you on. I wish you both lots of luck!
Mama Joey
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As a former Navy wife and the mother of a son in boot camp. I have to say that being a Navy wife was the best experience of my life. I learned how to be self sufficient and got to see a lot of the country next to the man that I loved.
At times it was difficult, I was alone a lot the first few years of our marriage and basically a single mom in the process. But in the end I believe it brought us closer together. Saying good-bye was tough (you do get used to it) but saying hello again was awesome.
I would say if you have a dream follow it. If she is part of your dream she will be there because she loves and supports you. If she doesn't support your dream, is she really the right person for you? That is the tougher question to answer.....
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Permalink Reply by John and Yvonne on
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First off, I'm not a girl. I'm a retired Navy chaplain (male). I admire the fact that you want to be a rescue swimmer. You should be able to live your dream. However, your girlfriend also has a right to live her dream, whatever that may be. What you have to figure out is whether your dreams are compatable.
Whatever you do, don't try to downplay the challenges and difficulties of life in the Navy. That will only come back to bite you later! The Navy, like every other branch of the service is about one thing - war fighting. That is the mission of the military. As a rescue swimmer you may be rescuing shipmates that are in the situations they are in because of war, or the preparations for war (training).
You may or may not go to Afghanistan for a year. But you can look forward to deployments from 6 to 9 months long. I'm not trying to deter you from following your dream, but don't sell your girlfriend a bill of goods that she may not be able to live with. Be straight with her and let her make up her mind if she can live with what will eventually be reality for her.
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