How does medical hold work...

[Lindsay]

Well my fiancé I found out (call it woman's intuition when I searched for him on facebook groups through very helpful families) and then in a letter where he quickly shared he banged up his foot, is in medical hold.  All I got from him was he banged up his foot.

 

How does medical hold work for OCS?  He is still only writing me letters (no calls or emails) but I don't even know how far he got in the process before he got injured.  I'm sure he doesn't want to worry me, but I was told he should have been able to call and tell me that, but never did (maybe because he went with no calling card).  Are they allowed off base if they are in medical hold?  I ask only because I have seen charges for places off base, but he hasn't said much about that either.  I guess I can say he is a man of few words, but it definitely causes me to think a little.

 

Also, I definitely want to stress how important communication will be for us now that we will be getting married and curious on how to go about it.  I ask mostly because it is a big life change for me, not ever being a part of a military family, and I know he doesn't like to mix business with pleasure, but with this big change on the horizon and becoming his wife, I find it to be important for us to communicate. 

 

Any thoughts or suggestions on either of these things?

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

My husband spent over a month on medical hold at OCS and the communication allowed to them was different based on the current leadership. The first time he was injured, it was strictly letters, which is how I found out he was hurt. The second time the leadership was different and he was allowed short emails, phone calls, etc til he went back to training. Take that with a grain of salt though- it's been over four years since my husband was at OCS and things change. When my husband was there, he was not allowed off base while injured, but again, that may have changed. I'm sorry I don't have answers for you on how exactly things work, but that's often how things go in the navy- it's all situation dependent. I do know how it feels to find out your significant other has been injured via a letter, and so I am happy to lend an ear or offer any support I can to you as you go through this!  The most important thing to remember is this is only temporary.  I know it seems like forever when they are there but both of you can get through it!

 My husband wasn't much of a communicator either prior to joining the navy- but spending enough time apart definitely changed that. I think that the best you can do is try to be positive and encourage him to share his experiences. Ask questions, show an interest, etc. My husband did not enjoy OCS at all and when he wrote to me or called or emailed me, he did NOT want to talk about what was happening. That was his one chance to escape from that place. Once he got out into the fleet, he loved to teach me about what he was learning, what his job was, etc because he really loves it. Your fiance may end up being the same way!

[Lindsay]

Thank you so much for even sharing your own experiences even if they may have changed. I can't say much if they have at all either been trying to figure out why his phone rings but still only goes to voicemail but he gets off base. I guess maybe I hope he will share more when I finally see hkm face to face. I don't think he would be down that he is out, I mean he knew what to expect going into OCS being that he did BC years ago for army. I just don't know much at all being new at this whole life. I think I have just been getting bummed when I don't hear from him. I sent a letter every day last week and I didn't get a response. I would really like to know if he can come home for the holiday as I have heard 2 of the 3 classes so far will be able to. The head class will graduate before the holiday. My emotions just seem to be all over the place and I just want him to share more which is why I mentioned the communication thing.
I will definitely show my interest for it all as I said that as a teacher I am always looking to learn. I find it important since it will be my life. Right now it just seems like I'm in a black home and don't know much. When people ask about him I'm started to be more bummed that I can't answer them with anything other than "I don't know." Everyone asks even his parents because I am the only one he has sent any letters to. :(

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

He may not have cell phone privileges yet, even if he is allowed off base. I know my husband's class didn't get their cell phones til their 10th week of training, and he never had it while in medical hold. Even if they're on "hold", they're still in training, and since my husband hadn't gotten more than a week in before he was hurt, he wasn't allowed his cell phone. It is really hard to go to that mailbox and not have anything waiting for you! Mail can take a long time to get up there/come out so it may just be that it's not come yet. My husband's class did have a prior enlisted army guy in it and he said that bootcamp was not quite the same experience as OCS (not that one is harder than the other- they are just different), so it may not be quite what your fiance was expecting! I think the hardest thing about navy life sometimes is how little they sometimes can share with us. I know there are times my husband is holding back a lot of information from me- not because he wants to, but simply because he isn't allowed to share that information. It's difficult! I am a veterinarian and I LOVE to learn also so I get frustrated when I ask questions that can't get answered, but I've gotten used to it. And he does his best to share absolutely everything he can. I promise things will get easier once you guys are able to talk more. I think OCS has been the toughest part of my husband's navy career for both of us- even including all of his deployments!

[Lindsay]

Well I am not sure if he did prior, but I tried calling his cell last night and it rang to voicemail so I left a message and then figured why not text. I later went back and because we both have iPhones saw he read it. Did not even respond. I was so sad. If he has it and can read it why can he not respond?
It is very hard going to get the mail and nothing being there. I know there is a lot I have to learn and even as just being a wife with things they cannot share, but I don't know what's so important that they can't share from OCS. I guess too it could be with the holidays coming up as well I am missing him so much more than I was when he first left. I keep myself busy (even went back to do some work at the store I worked at this summer to take up more time) but still find myself thinking of him very often. I must say too it makes me worried and scared not hearing from him because we only got engaged about 1 month before he left. I am really hoping it might get easier, but I have to work on knowing ht I can and can't do even just as a navy wife.
What does your husband do for the navy? And if you don't mind me asking, where are you guys stationed?

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

That is very strange. :( Maybe you could try texting instead of calling him? He may only have certain hours he can access his phone and may have been trying to be respectful of his roommate by not making a phone call. I'm not sure. I do know sometimes they need their phones for duties like driving the duty van, and may not be allowed to use their phones for anything other than contacting someone back at the base.

I had moved back to be with my parents for the summer while my husband (then fiance) was at OCS. I had just graduated college and was waiting to start vet school so I was working at an animal clinic and teaching riding lessons at my barn and I picked up a lot of extra hours so I wouldn't be at home just moping! I also always made my mom check the mail- I didn't want to be disappointed at the mailbox anymore. It is even more hard when they are gone for the holidays. I've always been lucky enough to have amazing friends to spend the holidays with when my husband's been gone or when I've been stuck at school and he's stuck at work (we lived apart for four years so I could do vet school) and it always helped me to plan something special with friends or family to look forward to!

At OCS it wasn't so much that my husband couldn't share things- it was just that he didn't want to. He didn't want me to know he was hurt, didn't want me to think he had failed in the sense that he wasn't progressing in training while injured (which was silly but it was how he felt). Perhaps your fiance is feeling the same way?

My husband is a surface warfare officer. He spent time on a cruiser as the communications officer, then was the training officer for a destroyer squadron, and now is on staff at bootcamp. We are stationed at Great Lakes. :)  Do you know what your fiance will be doing?

[Lindsay]

I am just getting more worried. I have tried texting him and the other night he got it and read it but didn't write back and I texted again and now he hasn't read it. I am not sure if he could do all those things like drive the duty bus if he is in medical hold. Could he? Something seems weird......

I am at home too with teaching and waiting to see where he gets stationed because I accepted a teaching position before he was accepted for OCS. My dad usually gets the mail but it still hurts when there is the junk mail and nothing from him. I will be with my family and am staying as busy as I can. I teach 5 days a week and then Friday after school I had to another job till 10 and then back there again on Saturday for 8 hours. This all on top of planning a wedding (very distracted from and withdrawn from with the lack of communication with my fiancé). I get out with friends and stuff too. Maybe my fiancé is feeling the same way, and I thought that too and in a letter I wrote him (when I wrote everyday the week of the 11th) I tried to say as best you can at times on paper that we are in this together and no matter what, I am in for us. I didn't get a letter back and he hasn't read my text since Thursday night. My hopes are now up for a letter this week, but I feel weak about it. I have things to write but no motivation...I feel terrible saying that.

My fiancé was selected as SWO for going to OCS. He shared he would like to be on an amphibious transport dock so I think that will be his top choice. Where he will be stationed and what type of ship, as far as I know are still to be determined. Do you know when in OCS they start looking more into this and selection?