How to find out if your son is at sea?

[SailorMom]

Hi: 

I'm trying to figure out the special/secret way to find out if your kid is gone. I haven't heard from mine in a couple of days -- we usually text and skype every day and I'm aware they're not allowed to talk about when they're going. I thought he would give me just a little more advance warning -- but maybe he decided not to or maybe they just collected him in the middle of the night or something. I have no idea.

Is there a number I can call just to verify?

Thing is, I'm really used to hearing from him. If he's not shipped out then something is wrong. He's either in trouble off post or in trouble on.

[Angie]

They do not "collect him in the middle of the night" he knows when he is getting underway, and he can tell his family as long as he trusts them to not say anything to anyone about when he is getting underway.

 

IF your son has given the ombundsman your info you can call and talk to her/him....BUT if he did not give them your info they can not tell you anything.

 

There is no secret/special number to call to find that out....you will be stuck in the dark until your son calls you...sorry that is how it is.

[SailorMom]

K, thanks Angie.

I don't think my son was ever concerned with the Ombudsman or even knew where to find it.

Knowing you're stuck in the dark is better than not knowing anything.

[Angie]

Your son was explained what and who the Ombudsman was when he checked on board the command, everyone is that is part of the indoc for every command.  I am betting he wasn't worried about telling him/her about anyone...if you have the email to your son I would send an email and ask him how he is doing and ask him to give the ombudsman your info so she/he can contact you

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

Where is he stationed? What ship would he be on?

[SailorMom]

He's on Kitsap -- subs. He got there just last week and *did* give me an idea for shipout but he could have gone on either side of a general timeframe.

The reason I'm concerned is that he told me he was going to an anime convention in Seattle and I got a text from him there. Never heard from him again since then -- not all yesterday either and it was Easter. So I'm not even entirely sure if he even got back to Bangor. His phone was on this morning, now it's off.

[Angie]

oh dang...if he just got there...odds are he is really busy with getting checked in and all the fun and games that goes with that...makes it VERY long days and nights..  I would bet he is just busy, or even the guys on the Sub took him out to show him around.

[Angie]

Some people may tell you to contact the ship, or the CMC on the ship..I do NOT recommend that...all that does is put your son in the spot light if he gets called into an office asking them why he hasn't called his mom. 

[SailorMom]

I know, Angie. That's why I'm asking here. He could be passed out in his rack for all I know. Last thing I plan to be is the Flipout Mom. But it's been three days and as far as I knew he could have been on post for at least another month.

I'm less worried that he's underway than I am that he's *not back on Bangor.*

The thing is -- with my kid -- the only reason he wouldn't contact me is because he *can't*.

[JessicaB-Sailor Mom]

I suggest that you join the Ship group or Duty station group to get info from the folks who post on there....search Facebook as well. Be careful about posting personal/confidential/ info though...remember OPSEC..."loose lips sink ships"

[SailorMom]

Thanks JB. I'll look there.

[sailorwifenmom]

As a mom, I know that this is hard and it doesn't help much, but for what it's worth, even if you aren't hearing from him, he's safe.  The reason I can say this is because, even if you don't know where he is, the Navy does.  If he hasn't shown up for muster, they are going to look for him, and they will contact you / the next of kin to see if you know anything.  If they know that something serious has happened to him, then they will contact you, then, too.

As I said, I know that doesn't really help much, because you're his mom and you're worried, but really, no news can be good news.

Also, as someone said, if you're really really worried, and if you have made efforts to contact him and you don't hear from him and you are really concerned about it, you can contact the Ombudsman (but like someone said, they may or may not be able to talk to you.  Sailors cannot stop their spouses from using the Ombudsman, but they have to approve parents).  Also, and yes, this will shine a bit of a spotlight on your Sailor, but if worst comes to worst, you can contact the Chaplain and they will look into it. 

Good luck - I hope  you hear from him soon. 

Also, I don't know if this is his first command or not, but, speaking as the mom of a Sailor and as the wife of a Sailor (and as a former Sailor myself), I can tell you that a lot of times, "new" Sailors will often contact their families a lot at first, because they're at their first duty station, they don't know anyone, they're a bit lonely, etc... Then, they start to make friends, they get out and start doing stuff (like your son, going to the anime convention), and they get caught up in that.  They know they're safe, and they're having a blast, so they don't really think about the fact that their families back home don't know that... But, after a bit, it sort of balances out...  I bet this is what's happening with your son, and he's ok :-)