I am a mom going into the navy

[brendal]

This is a little hard for me but i am 24 yrs old and i have a 5 year old son. Things have been a little rough for me since i had my son so I decided me joining the Navy would give me a little more of a future and also secure my sons future at the same time; some people dont agree with it and that is perfectly fine and some support me a 100% due to the fact that i have struggled quite a bit to keep my head from sinking under water. but the matter of the fact is that i am SCARED, I mean this is going to be a great experience and I have alsways wanted to do it but maybe i need some advice in how to handle being away from my son at times and having to leave him behind while i am working and so an and so forth.. can someone give me a couple of words of advice or maybe see a better way to handle it?

Thank!! =D

[brendal]

Well i was able to enlist so how come you say single parents can not enlist?

[Anti M]

It is a regulation.

 

1  Unmarried or Divorced (NPS  Custody of dependents Ineligible No waiver authorized and PS)

 

If your recruiter signed you up, he, and you, are committing fraud.  Are you going in as a reservist? A single parent can join as a reservist with a waiver.  If you are simply giving up your child with the intent to take them back after training, THAT IS FRAUD.  I hope they bust your recruiter.  In all reality though, if fraud is found, YOU will go to prison, not him.  I suggest you be very clear on the rules and regulations.  If you are going to be a reservist, then be VERY clear that is what you are doing, rather than joining the Navy as a full active duty service member.  If you are blindly trusting him, you are not making an informed decision. 

 

http://www.navy.com/joining/qualifications.html

 

Enlisted Qualifications

See if you meet these basic Navy requirements. If you’re qualified to join, check out the next steps to take. Or check out information about new recruits. If you have any questions or need further details about any of the standards to enlist, talk to a Navy recruiter.

Age
You must be no older than 34 but at least 17 years old. If you are not yet 18, you must have parental consent.

Citizenship
You must be a U.S. citizen.

Family
If you are a single parent, please contact a recruiter for details on how you can enlist in the Navy.

Also, the Navy will normally not allow you to enlist if you have more than two dependents under the age of 18. Need more details? Contact a recruiter.

 

http://www.cnrc.navy.mil/publications/Directives/1130_8HVOL%20II_WC...

 

DEPENDENCY REQUIREMENT 020501.  CRITERIA.  Applicants with dependents enlisting in entry level paygrades historically encounter family hardships due to financial situations soon after enlisting.  It is the intent of this Section to eliminate from consideration those who cannot balance the demands of family and service, or who would experience a financial hardship at the onset of naval service.  Determine eligibility per the appropriate table show below. ACTIVE COMPONENT (AC) IF APPLICANT IS  AND HAS: THEN THE APPLICANT IS: NUMBER OF DEPENDENTS AND  WAIVER LEVEL 

No dependents Eligible No waiver required 

1  Unmarried or Divorced (NPS  Custody of dependents Ineligible No waiver authorized and PS) 

No custody of dependents Eligible with appropriate level waiver1 or 2= NAVCRUITDIST CO

[brendal]

Actually no is not fraud because the MEPS office has all the custody papers for my son, and is not a temporary order, all the armed forces offices have a qualification when it comes to custody for the kids, now my recruiter doesnt do the interviews or any of that nature he just gathered all my paperwork for the offices to process me so it was not him who made that decision, but is good to know the information. I was not trying to get him back just after training or any of that i was just trying to do my time with the military the right way.

[brendal]

Yea it clearly stated that you have the choice to give custody to the other parent, adult etc with order by court. and thats what my situation is now

[BunkerQB]

I am sorry that the only choice you had was to give up custody in order to join the Navy. While I believe children should be raise by their parents - particularly during the young formative years - there are situations where you do what you have to do. There is no easy way to advise you on handling the chunk of your child's life that you will miss. I am not even going to go there. Perhaps joining the Navy was not only the ONLY choice but was the BEST choice. In which case, you'll just have a accept the decisions you've made and move forward and don't look back. I am assuming that you had given custody to a relative whom you trust and feel was be an appropriate parent; otherwise ......................... 

Having a child is serious business. Joining the military is serious business. The two do not often mix.

You have made a decision. Rehashing will only second guess you decision. I understand you were only providing background information and not necessarily asking for an opinion on the decision you have made. We see all too often young women who want their cake but cake it too.

In years past, men often left their wives with their inlaws or parents to seek employment in lands far from home. This is no different, except the person doing so is a woman who had given birth to the child. I honestly do not think I could've done what you are about to do. Nor do I think I could be a single mom with a child serving in the armed forces (got pregnant after joining). It is a position difficult under the best of circumstances. If you have a good support system, then you are very lucky. Perhaps, you can organize for them a scrape book, a journal or ways of recording all the little things that your are going to miss out on.

Save you money, so you can come home and visit.  My apologies for rambling.

[AshleyK's mom]

I leave next week and will be gone for atleast 6  months. I am 27 and have an 8 year old. I had to give the dad full custody, as "single" parents cannot leave on active duty and have custody. not even joint. I know you have to serve your first duty before your able to get custody back. that does not mean you sign over rights though! I am now married so Im not considered a single parent so hopefully after basic and a school i can get joint custody back. but you do have to give full custody to the other parent or your parents or someone. i dont see anything wrong with this. so for anyone else that has commented saying elsewhere, they can kiss it!

[BunkerQB]

You sound like a strong individual. I am sure you will do find. Your son will too. He'll learn from you to be a strong and independent person. Good luck. BQB

[brendal]

Thank u! I mean I did join this website for some support not for someone to be tired of my discussion when they decided to comment on it in the first place. I am strong and all I needed was a little advice, thanks to my parents I am leaving my child with very trusting my people which are my own parents so I'm sorry that everyone feels like this towards my choice but it was MY choice n all I wanted was a little advice so thank u very much ashley and BQB, and good luck ashley!! I know this is an experience and I will put it in Gods hands :)

[Anti M]

I wish you  all the best, but really, you didn't say you'd given up custody.  Many young women want to join, but are not strong enough to fully make the commitment to let others raise their child while they are serving their country.  Since most of us have posted the regulations several times, we went on what information you did give.

 

Best of luck in your career, I hope this works out well for you, your child and your family.  I was raised in the Navy, and have found it very rewarding, enough so I joined myself.  My dad was gone lot, sometimes eight months at a time or more.  With today's technology, you will be able to stay in touch much better than we could back then.  

 

Will your parents move to where you are stationed?