I need strength-

[bonnieb75]

So last year my oldest at 18 decided to join the Navy. I was very young when I had him and raised him the best I could. It was tough but he and I had this special bond that felt so good... It was just he and I and we pretty much grew up together and learned many lessons about life-

When he decided to join the Navy, I was very proud of him.. He was hesitant but thought it was a good decision...

He left for boot camp in August 2011.. I was 7 months pregnant and letting him go was one of the toughest times I ever expreienced.. He had never been away from me before..

8 weeks of boot camp.... I thought for sure I wasn't going to carry this baby full term... Well I did- I had him Sept 23rd... I overnighted a package to Tyler (my oldest) to tell him the great news... He never got the package...

He finally got his first phone call home the first week in October but had no idea I had the baby.. Telling him was super emotional.. He was a big brother.

We made it up to his graduation.. traveling with a 4 week old was quite a challenge but I wasn't going to miss that for the world..

He finally got to meet his baby brother for the first time.... I cried my eyes out and was so happy..

He then left for Connecticut for school... See, he is going to be on a sub and I just don't know how to prepare myself for this... 3-6 months at a time with no contact.. He and I have talked about it and sometimes I feel like he regrets his decision.. Not joining the navy but being on a sub.. It takes a strong person to be able to do that and he has told me often that he hopes he is strong enough for that task.. I'm so scared for him.

He signed up for 5 years so he will by only 23 when he gets out... unless he resigns. Which I will support his decision. Hunter will be 5... We skype him often and tell Hunter that Tyler is his big brother and he smiles and laughs at the computer screen..

I just hope its enough....

Sorry for the long post.. I'm in a funk today and needed to tell someone...

 

Bonnie

[bonnieb75]

And I just found out today that he is going to be stationed in Guam! I don't know what to think...

[ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola)]

Hi Bonnie

I was just reading your post, and it brought tears to my eyes. I can relate in a lot of ways, yet, my daughter has not left yet for boot camp. She leaves next Monday, July 24. I am an emotional mess. I've raised her pretty much by myself since she was 3. She had summer visits to her father but that was only 2 months out of the year. We are very close, best friends you can say. We spend endless hours each day laughing, talking, watching movies, what ever we can find to do.

I'm very proud of her choice, and been her number one support person. I have a 4 year old little boy. Her baby brother. They have gotten really close and she is pretty much 'the other momma'. It breaks my heart to see her cry over leaving the both of us. She doesn't know how she is going to survive without her baby brother. I don't know what I'm gonna do without her. She is my life. Knowing that I have to go 9 weeks without much communication with her is very hard to swallow. I cry often just thinking about this. Hard enough knowing she is leaving and I can't see her, but harder knowing I cannot talk to her.

Luckily tho, she will be stationed on land or on a ship as opposed to your son being on a sub. At least on a ship, I was told they have internet and will be able to keep up with modern day communication.

I am sure with being able to skype your son, that the baby will be able to bond with his big brother. It is amazing how smart babies are and how they can remember someone and build attachments to them. When my 4 year old was just over a year, his oldest brother (my ex's son) died. To this day, my lil boy knows who his big brother was and remembers him. We keep his memory fresh and so far it seems to work at keeping the memory alive. I'm pretty sure as your baby grows, he will know all about big brother and when he starts kindergarten, will tell stories about what his brother does.

I know, from experience, that no matter what anyone tells you, or the advice they give, it will not keep the tears away. But I have learned that knowing someone understands and feels your pain can give comfort. I have found so many wonderful moms on here. Mind you, they have stories of their own that fill your eyes with even more tears, but the tears feel better coming out when you feel the warmth of the other moms. At least, this is in my case.

I know the funk feeling.. I'm in one myself. But you are not alone. Feel free to friend me or message me anytime if you need to talk.

Warm hugs.....

Lori

[bonnieb75]

Thanks for replying Lori- I'm new here and I havent figured out how to friend someone yet... I'll figure it out- A few things about boot camp- That was indeed the worst feeling!! He got just one phone call letting me know he made it safe- Then a week later, I received ALL of his belongings (Including his underware) in the mail- Wow- I wasnt prepared for that! I cried... for days! What ever you do.. Keep your cell phone with you at ALL times because you don't know when you are going to get that phone call!! I missed his second phone call and I was sooo unhappy.. It tore me up!! Thankfully he was able to call a short time later while I was still crying... And he laughed at me telling me in a playful way that I'm so dumb. :)

Its so hard. Its really going to tear you up. I'm not going to lie... But when you go to her graduation.. What a great feeling!! But it did suck that we only got to spend 4 hours with him because he was leaving straight to Connecticut. I really have no idea what I'm going to do when he is on the sub in Guam.... Lucky for you- you'll have e-mail. Thats really nice!! Thanks for replying- Our stories are very similar. It's nice talking with someone that can relate-

Yeah- But boot camp-- OOh its tough.

**Hugs**

 

bonnie

[Anti M]

Subs have email, my nephew is on a sub.  It is text only, so no pictures, and they don't have it daily, but they do have it.

[bonnieb75]

Thats really good to know- Thank you.