I'm thinking about joining the navy...I have a 2yrs old son

[Jadyn's mom]

I' just on here looking for some advise about joining when you have a child under 18. Can someone help me with sum gettin started...Nd quick ??? is it true that yu can't join if you do not know how to swim

[CurtsMom]

There are several members on here with a lot of info on Navy rules and Regulations and I am sure one of them will be on later. In the mean time check out this post it may help answer some of your questions.

http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/care-for-baby-while-dtr-is-in

Good luck.

[Anti M]

A single parent can only join the reserves, and they must provide a family plan for someone to care for the child when they deploy. If you want to go full active duty, you must give up custody for the entire first enlistment, which can be four to six years. It is NOT true you can give them up for boot camp and get them back. That's fraudulent enlistment and the Navy WILL notice.

You must pass a swim test in boot camp.

[gigi65]

Yes I read it and I will definitely look into it. Thanks!

[Jadyn's mom]

Thanks alot CurtsMom that linked helped alot.....also thanks Anti M
So I want to join Full active duty nd I have tlked to ma mom about signing my rights over to her .She's ok with it she loves him nd said she's willin to help me out if this is something I really want to do....Ok so do yu get time off frm da navy I know it wounldn't be like every weekend or month but do yu really stay away for years with out a break ...nd could nebody tell me what's the amount of time yu have to enlist for...I'm 22 ma son is 2 he'll be 3 in november I went to college nd I felt like it wasn't really for me so I dropped out nd went to culinary school I had to stop goin because ma grandmother became ill nd she wanted me to be her care taker nd ma heart really wasn't in it either I kinda always wanted to join da navy but ma family had all negative stuff to say based off a prior experience ma ucle had with da army.....well back to ma point my grandmother passed away the 14 of june of this year so here I am again lookin into tryna join the navy again ughhhhh this is so hard Idk if im able to be away frm ma son for yrs at a time with no contact but I also realize im not gettin kno older nd I have to get on board with ma life for me and ma son I want to be a good mom nd provider for maself and him ...And these bs jobs for 8nd9 dollars aren't cuttin it nd with no degree I cant get a good payin job I feel so stressed,lost ,confused HELP PLZ I NEED SUM POSTIVE CONSTRUCTIVE ADVISE

[Anti M]

A normal enlistment is for four to six years. You would have to surrender custody for that entire time.

This stuff next sounds negative, but it is reality, so you can consider your options.

Because you give up custody, I don't know if you can claim him as a dependent. That means no benefits for him (healthcare, housing allowance, paid for moves). Hoppi, is this correct? This would be a crucial piece of information to find out!

You may be stationed overseas, where he and your mom could not follow. There is no guarantee you'd be stateside or have shore duty so he could live nearby.

Sailors earn 30 days a year off. That's called leave. Most commands don't grant the 30 days all at once, especially ships. They give that time off when they can, usually a week or two at a time, at their convenience. Forget about holidays off as a guarantee. Liberty is normal time off such as weekends and federal holidays IF you don't have duty. However, there are travel restrictions, so you can't fly home on a long weekend without permission or taking leave. You could possibly go a full year without seeing your son. Maybe two, but that would be unusual.

I hope this information gives you a clearer picture. Also, you must see a recruiter to find what you are qualified for. The Navy is very full just now, so expect to wait for a good rate (job).

[gigi65]

Hello, I joined the Navy when I was 24 years old and my daughter was two. I was told that I had to give up full custody of my child. I went to court and gave up my rights to my aunt and uncle. The Navy did not recognize my child as my dependent. I had to go back to court and for custody because my aunt became attached to my child. My recruiter gave me the wrong information. All I had to do was give my aunt power of attorney and still claim my child as my dependent while I was in boot camp. To make a long story short, you can give your mom power of attorney for your son and claim him so that you are able to collect with dependent pay while going through boot camp. After boot camp you will go to your school for training and off to your duty station. Depending on the circumstances you can go into housing or live out on the economy. The bottom line is you can tell them that you have a child. Remember when you go to boot camp make sure you have your son's birth certificate with you for administration day. I wish you the best with your decision. Also, if you have your child and you are stationed on a ship and you have to go on a deployment, you can ask your mom to keep the baby while you are gone. I was a single parent and I did just fine, My Navy family was a blessing to me and my child for 20 years. I am truly blessed and grateful. Let me know if this helps. Blessings!

[Anti M]

gigi, that USED to be true. The regulations are different now, as Emma has said. What you did then was okay, now it would be fraudulent enlistment. I am afraid you are giving her old news and false hopes.

Do ask the recruiter, and ask to see the regulation. It is online, you can google it easily enough.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Anti M]

http://www.cnrc.navy.mil/publications/Directives/1130_8HVOL%20II_WC...

The information is on page 67, single parents are ineligible to enlist, and transfer of custody MUST be permanent. I am sorry, gigi gave you old information which no longer applies.

Also, check out this site here for more information:


target="_blank">http://usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/a/enlsingparent.htm

[Jadyn's mom]

Ok so a big thanks to everyone I really appreciate everyone’s input thanks for explaining both sides anti M…I’ve been hearing so much negative stuff about the navy it makes me feel alil better to hear some positive things gigi65 you really just lifted ma sprits cuz I was losing hope I know sum of the rules have changed nd it’s not going to be a easy battle but I really just feel like GOD put it in my heart to keep try to see if something can be worked out for me I really feel like I’m supposed to be in the navy but if it does work out for I have a back-up plan …..Again thanks soooo much everyone if there’s anything else that anyone thinks would help me please let me kno...Also I’m have a hard time meeting with a recruiter in the Philadelphia area the office close’s to ma house is no longer there but hopefully I can find another office not too far away from ma home….Yu guys really our helping me out a lot I’ll be sure to follow up with the info a recruiter tells me soon as I meet with one lol hopefully that will be oneday this week or the next

[gigi65]

Wow! I read it and yes you need to speak with a recruiter. Call any recruiter to find out what to do. Even though you give up full custody you are still responsible to pay money for that child. So it looks like you will still get money with dependents from the sound of it. I can't believe that they won't allow you to have your child or children with you on your first enlistment. My daughter is joining the Air Force and I am taking custody of her child because I want to help her. Yes, times have changed. I will have to call my old room mate who is a recruiter and ask her about these changes. That's a long time to be away from the kids. The sacrifices we make for our families and our country. I apologize but I will definitely look into this one. Good Luck!

[Anti M]

I used to be active duty too, and a few of the changes are huge. This is one of those areas! I've learned I have to look up almost everything before I can answer. I joined N4M because my nephew is in the nuke program and I knew that had changed.

But sailors are always sailors.....

[Viki]

Can't join if you are a single parent