Is there such a thing as too much support?

[navywifer87]

I need a little advice... My husband just found out he's going to C school right after he finishes A school.  Which is great!  While he was in GL, I came and visited him often as I was only a few hours away.  I could stay a few days over the weekend and such and even stayed a couple of weeks.  He loved it!  I loved it!  I got to be a part of his life and learn so much more about the Navy.  It really helped me with being ok personaly with this huge change in our lives.  blahblah It was good for us.  So, now he's going to Cali for 4 months.  The cut off for moving your dependent with you is 5 months.  However, he wants me with him and I want to go.  We don't have children and I already quit my job because we expected to be PCS'ing by now, so I have no reason not to go.  But then again, I don't know if I'll even be able to stay with him the whole time anyways!  Does anyone know how married housing works for engineman c school in San Diego?  And does anyone think I'm crazy for wanting to do whatever it takes to see my sailor as much as possible?

[Craig]

navywifer - You are a dependent.  You can live ANYWHERE you desire within the U.S.  You are married, without kids, which is a great thing.  This will allow you to easily move where ever you want.  Your husband is paid dependent BAH to house you.  That pay is based on wherever YOU live.  So, if I was in your shoes (high heels kind of hurt my feet though),  I'd put all of your HHG in stowage, and go to California.  Make California YOUR new home.  Have the Navy pay you the California rate for BAH. 

 

If you do desire to move there, understand the Navy will not move your HHG since it's not a PCS move.  You will have to do that on your own dime.  But like I said, the money you make extra from receiving California BAH will offset the cost of the things you place in storage.  

 

As a sailor, I can tell you we want our wives to be part of our life.  We want you there, but you have to want to be there.  Yes, the Navy could limit his time with you, and can limit his liberty.  However, I think any time is better than no time.

 

Remember,  he will be in school, and his focus is passing school.  So he might not spend that much time (maybe anytime) with you.  You might only see him when he comes home to sleep.  As long as you know this ground rule going in, then you won't have a problem.  

 

btw:  "Sleep" can mean a lot of things to a sailor!

 

[Anti M]

Craig, you'd be lovely in heels, you just don't know it yet.

 

I've heard several young wives who moved to C school on their own dime have a problem when it comes time to move the HHG, some from where the goods are stored and some from where they are living, as the Navy will only ship from one location.  I've never encountered this myself, Craig, do you have that info handy?

 

[navywifer87]

LOL  How bout you start with my cowgirl boots, Craig!? 

 

Thank you both!  I was really bummed because of some things my lil sis said to me about all of this.  I tried to keep in mind that she just went through a bad break up (with a guy that used his c school in san diego as the excuse why to break up!), but she's also an ensign and knows a lot.  Thankfully HHG is not an issue, we lost the majority of our stuff in a bad mold issue with a poor landlord just before Nick left for RTC.  So, all I have fits in the back seat of my car.  I don't know how the details will work out in San Diego, but I'm just looking forward to it.  It's true, anytime is always better than no time!

 

Thank you so much for the possitive feedback!

[Angie]

Keep in mind you will need to find a place to live in you go to CA.  You will NOT be able to stay in the barracks, where he will be assigned to live, and you will not be able to live in base housing as his school doesn't allow a PCS for you which means they will not allow a place in base housing, besides the wait list for base housing is long out in CA.

 

So where will you all live in CA?  The cost is high out there.

 

Where is his PCS to after EN "C" School?  which school is he going to?  FYI...I was an EN for 10 1/2 years...went to almost ever EN "C" school. 

[navywifer87]

I'm looking at extended stay hotels or furnished efficiencies/studio type places in San Diego.  He's going ACNR "C" school.  I believe that is the correct acronym.  He said it's for A/C and Refridgeration.  Once he's done there, we are going to Norfolk as he is assigned to the USS Ross.  Angie, have you heard of the Navy putting C school students up in hotels?  Also, what do you know about this school?  Nick's really excited about the opportunity.  He was told it has a long wait list and is hard to get into.

We've heard that housing/barracks are full in San Diego and that they will put him in a hotel and that I would be able to stay with him.  I don't know how true that is.  It sounds too good to be true and you know what they say about things that sound too good to be true!  I'm trying to keep my expectations low for the living situation in CA.  I'm very happy for my sailor and excited about this new adventure, but I'm kinda bummed, a little.  I mean we were told 2 months for boot, 2 1/2 months for A school and then a base where we can live together again.  And now, they just added another 4 months to that!  I know the Navy sees it differently.  I'm really trying hard not to let it get to me, because I know this is just the beginning and I've got to get used to this. 

[Anti M]

If they put him in the Gateway Inns and Suites on base, you usually can't stay with him (they share suites with other students I've heard).  Offbase, anything goes, but if the barracks open up, they'll move him in.

The barracks being full is iffy, because there are the barracks for the sailors on permanent orders, and the school barracks. Unless things have really changed, the two are rarely mixed.  The regular barracks have a wait list to move offbase, but the school barracks will put students in other housing as they check in.

Finding another military spouse or GF who needs a roommate may be an option too.

You are going to have to come back and give us the facts!

[Angie]

The school is AC & R, you where close. I loved that school!!!  It is somewhat different than most EN school as it has electrical in it.  Feel free to have him ask me questions about the school if he wants.  He will get his universal cert and his car cert for AC to get R12.  BUT....that school has a 25% failure rate.  It is one of the harder schools for EN, and not everyone makes it through the school.

 

I have a friend who is out there and she checked, the barracks are not full for where "C" School students go. Housing is full, but that isn't where he will live.  Also with him being such a jr Sailor they would put him in open bay berthing before spending the money to put him in a hotel in CA.

 

Who ever told you that time line, lied to you!  No one can give you a time line as to when you can live togheter, nor can they say if the schools are backed up.  I would go give that person a peice of my mind if I where you...and I want to guess it is the recruiter who said that.  Dang used car sales man...I hate recruiters!

[navywifer87]

Angie, I've gotta give it to the recruiter though, he's smart enough to know to duck my calls.  Cause, I sure have tried more than once to call and ask him just how he thinks it is helpful to make promises he knows he has no control over.  Hmm, his PLR person must be misinformed too.  She thought that since he is married he would be given special consideration.  Well, I just found out we are now being directed to the relocation office to work out the details.  So, I will report back when I know more about this!

 

Great idea about finding a roomie!  Thank you, Anti M!

[navywifer87]

UPDATE:

Apparently, the PLRs (personal liason reps) that help new sailors navigate their way through all the paperwork and procedures the Navy requires of their new sailors are all being let go at the end of this month.  That is why they are very unexcited to do anything other than answer the most basic questions.  Our next stop for info on this San Diego thing was the Relocation office.  Now, we know they can only answer questions and provide assistance for PCS orders.  So, the lady there had us go ahead and fill out all paperwork for Norfolk and redirected us back to the PLR for info about temp orders to San Diego.  Her other opition was to show up to San Diego and ask them!  I've also called FFSC for help. They explained PSD at Great Lakes is not as user friendly as a PSD office at an "active" base that is more geared towards servicing the fleet.  This is disappointing to me, but not a surprise.  So, she recommended the best thing to do is to wait till we get to San Diego to request our BAH to be adjusted and to have my husband call NGIS to make a reservation.  She also advised to save all receipts, just in case they could be used for a tax write off for non reimbursed employment expenses!  I really want to cry I am so frustrated!!!!!  Why do I have to travel across the country to find out if and how long it takes to correct our BAH so I can some what afford to go with him!?  Why can't I just get some straight answers!?  At one point, someone recommended we go to our congress man and ask him to demand asnwers from the Navy, but that sounds like shooting myself in the foot... not a good idea.  Does anyone have any other thoughts or ideas?  

[Anti M]

Sounds all Navy normal to me.  Sad, huh?

 

One problem is that everything doesn't work the same way at each base, and yes, people are often mis-informed.  Oh, the regulations are all the same, but the procedures and timelines are all over the place.  One slacker PSD clerk and you're screwed.   But yes, you pretty much have to be in SD to request the BAH change if you aren't on orders.  

 

Save calling the Congressman for dire situations.  While this is majorly important to you, it is a paperwork shuffle to the Navy.   Can he call his school command and talk to someone there about how to proceed, suggestions?   While school commands don't do sponsors, perhaps he can get a staff member to take an interest in getting you there and settled.  Can't hurt to try.  

 

Don't give up.  Find every single family and spouse support group for SD you can and ask around.  Maybe someone knows someone who has a place, or knows a sailor deploying who needs a house sitter ..... try everything.  Be a pain in the ass!  And keep us updated, your struggles may eventually smooth the way for others, if nothing else, letting them know what the paths are.

[navywifer87]

Anti M, thank you! I spoke to another person at GL PSD this am who told me "you're at the right church but you've been talking to the wrong people!" Lol so, i now have a call into the right people to correct the bah that has been missing since RTC. As far as SD bah request once i get there, that makes total sense. I just worry what if i get there and they won't change it and i can't afford it on my own. That never really happens does it?

[Anti M]

If you have a new physical address, they change it.  There is paperwork to do, and HE has to stay on them until he knows it went through. (yay for being a spouse, huh?).  It can take a few pay cycles to go through, but it will.   Sometimes the spouse just cannot get a good response, and the sailor has no time to deal with details, which leads to frustration.  That gets better in the fleet most of the time.