Leaves today for bootcamp

[Lisa Lou]

Hi there, I am brand spanking new and my son leaves today for boot camp. I am so surprised at how empty I am feeling. I knew I would be emotional but this overwhelming sadness is unexpected. I am divorced from my son's father, we have a very difficult and complicated relationship. My son left my house for the last time on Sunday, July 4th and now I feel empty and sad. I have been extremely supportive of my son's decision and tried to prepare him the best I could. I will meet him later today to say my final goodbye before quarantine. I am so proud of my son; he is the only one who joined a military assignment out of my extremely large family and from his father's side as well.

Are my feelings normal for a new Navy mom? I can't seem to stop crying. I was never a helicopter parent so I am struggling to understand why I am feeling so blue. Any suggestions to help get through would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Lisa Lou

[Chipmunk]

Lisa Lou - Welcome to N4M - you should have received a message from one of the site admins on your profile page welcoming you. There are some links of things to read and one of them is to Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones) - Navy For Moms (ning.com)  - Please be sure to come join the BC Mom group. That is the best place to come and post your comments, questions, etc to the members there who have been there, are there, or some even going to be at BC also. 

When you come to the BC Mom group and share your feelings - please do so down in the Comment Wall area - scroll past the information page (which shares a general timeline of what is going on at BC), past the discussion area, to the comment wall. More of our members see messages posted there and will likely reply to you. 

As to are your feelings normal - Yes, they most definitely are for a Navy Mom. We recommend coming here and posting how your days are going. We have ideas for making Blue Candles and other craft decorations, we highly recommend finding a new hobby or something that will help you stay busy and you may begin writing letters, just be sure to keep them positive and share about what things you are doing. 

It is very hard in my opinion, for single moms to let their kids go into the military, especially if it is your only. They have been child, confidant, friend, and to some extent, man of the house and them leaving changings the family dynamics not only for them but for you as well. We also have an http://navyformoms.ning.com/group/emptynesters - Emptynesters group as well as after your son passes BC and becomes a sailor you are welcome to join my Beyond BC group where you can stay connected with other moms, especially if you don't have a group for your son's rate. - Also, if your SR is by chance going into any sort of special ops, diver, cryptology, or other "special" rate, we do not post those on the open groups and ask questions about them. 

Those need to be asked in the private message options which you can learn about in the BC Mom group. 

[Lisa Lou]

Thank you for the wonderful advice. I love the Blue candles idea and I will incorporate Red on Fridays from now on. I hit an extreme low yesterday but I realize that I need to stay strong for my son. This group I feel is going to help me.

[partyofseven]

Good Morning Lisa Lou I love your name by the way. Your feelings are very normal at this time. The first weeks of silence are hard and that is ok. I always say if you have to cry then cry. There is a great amount of support in this group and we will help you get thru boot camp and beyond,

Boot camp is for us as much as our loved ones while they are getting stronger so are we. I will post some links for you and when you can please post on the comment wall area and you will find lots of information in there as well.

Boot Camp First Weeks Timeline(See Things to Do in the Last Month Before Your Future Sailor Leaves for RTC.)

This is a good one to read as your loved one gets ready to go. 

Keep your phone on you at all times and be ready for the scripted call that will come later on tonight. Just keep telling him you love him and how proud you are of him. Also, turn your ringer on loud so you don't miss his call.

Keeping busy is key and start writing now it helps you as much as your loved one will love getting letters from you. And crying when I wanted to help me as well. 

Welcome again.

Party

[Lisa Lou]

Thank you so much. I did review the links provided and I just wrote a loving and encouraging note to my son to put in his wallet. Great suggestion. My son is not a writer so I do not expect letters from him but I plan to keep a journal and when I can I will send letters to him. I'm so glad I found this group. Thank you everyone, this is so very helpful.

[Chipmunk]

We are glad you found us!!

[partyofseven]

You are very welcome. My son and I did the same when he left to and he said he would read my note when he needed to.  :) Mine has been in for almost 4 years now and I stay and help out the new moms that come on board. 

The journal writing is an excellent idea. It will be great for him to read it when you see him again.

Party

[Annie]

Hi Lisa Lou, I am in the same boat. My son left today and I am feeling sad. 

[Lisa Lou]

Hi Annie. I too am so very sad. My son told me he was sad too before leaving. My heart broke. I did leave a note in his wallet for him to read when he gets home sick. These next ten weeks are going to be so difficult. I can't wait til I can see him or even just hear from him. I find this group to be very helpful. I find their suggestions to be very helpful and encouraging.

[partyofseven]

Hi Annie and welcome to our group, please ask any questions you may have. No question is ever dumb and someone will answer you. 

Staying busy is key and start writing now so when the form letter comes you can mail your letters off right away.

Big Hugs to you Annie and we are here for you.

[belovedbyHim]

Lisa Lou and Annie,

Welcome!! Please read my blog to give you an idea of what the first few weeks may look like.. First Things First-- The Quarantine Edition Up and to the Left is a link to all the Navy Lingo! It is titled Navy Speak and you can find it here. We are here to get you through the “Great Silence” of the next 4 weeks (ish) and the 10 weeks of BC (ish). You will come to learn that No News Is GOOD News and everything is Needs of the Navy. You life will be Hurry Up and Wait and it’s ok to make plans but they are subject to change until after they have happened so it’s best to embrace the Motto: Semper Gumby!! (Always Flexible!!)

The Expected timeline will look like this
Day 0 -- Travel, Arrival and "I'm Here" scripted phone call

Week 1&2
Day 1-14 -- ROM (Restriction of Movement/ Quarantine-- Lots of studying and waiting) Unless they are Fully Vaccinated (2 weeks after final shot) in which case they skip straight to Week 3.

Week 3
Day 15-21 Arrive Onboard RTC and begin P-days (P-days- Initial Processing Days) including 2 days of P-hold (Weekend)
Day 21-- Complete P days. (Initial PFT & Run)

Week 4- First week of training 
Day 22-- Begin training and mail form letter out. Look for it to arrive around 1-2 weeks later

Week 5 -- First inspections and tests (Dental May be this week or next... Not Confirmed)(Form letter/ Personal letters usually arrive this week)

Week 6 -8 -- More training, Drilling (Flags and Marching), Fire Fighting training, Marlinspike (Line handling- How to tie up a Ship to the Pier) and weapons lessons, Confidence chamber( May or may not be happening yet, we don’t know for sure).. Warrior training in here somewhere.

Week 9 & 10 -- Stressful!! They have all their final inspections, PFA, Drills, BS21 and Tests. This is the lead up to the end!!

All of this is assuming no exposure to COVID with additional ROM
Training typically occurs Monday - Friday but we have heard rumors that Saturday’s are now training days as well.
Normal PIR will be 10 Fridays after departure from Home but it can be less by 1 but it can be extended by ???? (lots!!) It just depends on how many times they get caught in the “Ring of Fire” but do not get COVID. IF they get COVID, Once they are recovered they will not be removed from training again even if they are in the “Ring of Fire”. (so there is that small silver lining if kids get sick)
I Hope you’ll come and join us on the Main Boot Camp Moms page: https://navyformoms.ning.com/group/bootcampmoms You may have to scroll down a ways to reach the comments but we’d love to get to know you and answer any questions or concerns you may have or just be a support from others who “get it”.

There is a TON of stuff on this site but it can also be overwhelming, Feel free to ask any and all questions and we will do our best to help you find the answers!

[Becky]

My son left on Wednesday
My heart is empty and I also am surprised how sad I am. I do not come from a military family so this is all very new. The 7 day before ship out meeting was very disorganized. Asked to be changed at the last minute and changed from scheduled in person to Zoom. And then day of the time changed. Very unsettling but maybe this is part of “training the parent”? Do parents get anything given or mailed to help explain what to expect.

Do all recruits have to quarantine? Or just those not vaccinated. We were told 2 different things
Can’t figure out when boot camp will be done
Is it 8 weeks as we were told or 10 weeks?

I feel your sadness. Right there with you glad I took a few days off after but did cry more than once at work today. I am so proud of what he is doing and that is what is helping me.

As I told my son “You got this” and to the new moms out there like me it hurts but “we got this too”!

[Chipmunk]

Becky if you look above your comment - BBH posted a timeline and maybe a link - This is our best information. If you haven't joined the BC Mom and Loved ones group yet, be sure to do so. And remember to check your profile page for any comments or messages that might get sent there. 

The issue with the 2 week ROM (restriction of movement) / quarantine is vague. As best as we know, if they have had the Covid vaccination they are still going to ROM for a few days while their records are verified, then they are going to P-days. If no vaccine, I believe they are still doing a 2 week ROM. - 

BC itself is still 8 weeks so if not ROM then count 8 - 9 Fridays from when you think he would go to P-days. That said, we just had a mom share that they are starting a pilot program and her son called to tell her that he was going to have BC extended 2 weeks to do a financial course. 

Things are ever changing which is why we suggest to come post in the BC Mom group comment wall area and follow that because we post and share about these things as they come up.