Leaving for Boot Camp the Week of October 25th 2010

[KLMkathy]

I thought it would be nice to start a discussion for our children leaving the week of October 25th 2010.  Welcome everyone.  Kathy   

[pmgcakes]

Have a safe trip Lori, We too are getting a hotel room, havent got the time yet, but some start as early as 6:30am

[ElizabethC]

I have mixed feelings on my son's ship out date and going over to MEPS, I think all you mom's who are going to MEPS are truly amazing and hold a special place in my heart....our MEPS is only about 20 minutes away from home and at 5:00AM I'm sure I could be there in 10 minutes...haha. I am really afraid that I will absolutley lose it watching my son swear in and then leave for the airport I'm not sure how to feel ok and keep myself strong for him, with either going or not going, I'm afraid if I go I will cry my eyes out and I'm afraid if I don't go I will miss a huge moment in my son's life ...Please help me if any of you have suggestions....I am completey torn and not sure how to handle this.

[AngieFromWA:BUDS Mom/ HM alumnus]

Elizabeth sweetie, your fears are normal and perfectly understandable, but I promise, you won't be the only one with tears there. :) Your Son may express concern, but if so, he's really just worried about you, and maybe a little fearful he'll be the only one there with a crying Mom and be embarrassed! LOL The Recruiters and MEPS staff understand and are usually very nice to family members. It is such a special and joyous occasion, (you will be so proud!) that even though you will be also be sad, (much of this Navy experiance is bittersweet) you may just surprise yourself with how strong and supportive you can be.

They will shuttle him to the airport. Some families choose to follow along, to say goodbye there, and if their airport lets them get special passes, to wait with their Recruit at the gate. That may all be too much for you, and you may elect to give your final hugs at MEPS, then let your boy start his adult journey from there. :-)

Now, a personal sidenote... I am a rare Mom, my son was sworn in to the Navy twice, two years apart! (Loong story there!). Sadly, I missed the first one. :( He's an "I'll figure it out when I get there", roll with it kind of guy, so he didn't check or tell us we could be there that morning. He called after it was all done. Actually, he didn't tell us much at all back then, he was 20, had independently DEPped in and handled his Recruitment process himself. So, I missed a great Photo op!

But the second time, girl, I was ON it! =) He still couldn't figure out what all the fuss was about, why Grandma had even traveled across state to be there. LOL We all waited with him all morning, while they took him through one thing and another, until they finally called us for the swearing in. I treasure those photos!! Also, something changed about his contract while we were there, and we were able to talk it through with him, he had some crucial support and advise just when he needed it most!

So, yes, I would definately recommend you go, but I don't know your son. You know him and your situation best. Just don't let fear be the determining factor You take all our advise, talk to your son, then you think about it. In the end, you should do whatever you think is best for you and your Recruit. :-) ((HUGS)) to you. You will probably both find, along this path, that you are both stronger and more capable than you think you are!

[ElizabethC]

Angie..Thank you so much for your support and wisdom, I think talking it over with my son is probably the first and most important step....when it comes down to it this is really about him and his amazing journey into the world.

P.S. - i would really love to hear about you and your son's Navy life ;o)

[KLMkathy]

Hi Elizabeth, hang in there. We are all here to help each other. I am stressing out too and believe me there is no bigger cry baby then me when it comes to emotional situations. Just talk to your son and see what he wants. If he wants the family there to see him sworn in then go and enjoy and cry and be proud of your wonderful son. There are moments you just can't get back. On the other hand if he would rather say goodbye at home before he leaves for Meps then honor his request. My son does not want the family at meps. He wants home to be his old life and meps to be his new one. Sounds corny I know but go figure. Meps is 3 hours away from us but I would gladly go if he wants us to be there. I still have hopes that one of the times I mention it he will smile and say what the heck. Sure. Anyway, it is his journey and I want to follow his wishes whatever they may be. In a little over three weeks I will let you know if I finally was able to wear him down. lol. Have a nice evening. Kathy

[Lori_KingsBay_USSRI_Radio]

Elizabeth - I think many of us feel the way you feel. This is a very emotional time for us moms. Happy and Sad. I absolutely will cry (I'm a BIG baby); maybe even uncontrollably for a moment, BUT I won't miss it for anythig. My tears are happy tears, proud tears for him. This change will be VERY emotional but I know with every bone in my body that my son has made an awesome choice and I believe this will be a pivotal moment in our families life SO tears, let them puddle cuz I'm going to be standing with my camera capturing the moment. Live with no regrets; you do what is best for you. There are times for tears and this would be one of them. My son's girlfriend is where you are at - she isn't sure she can be there. So she may choose not to go which is fine too. If you decide you can't go; maybe someone can go and take pictures for you? You have time to make your decision and you will make the best decision for you and your son. ((HUGS))

[pmgcakes]

Well Said, Angie. And Lori, I couldnt agree with you more ~ there are times for tears ~ that really helped me , I had a light bulb moment - I couldnt be prouder. Go to MEPS Elizabeth and enjoy this moment.

[ElizabethC]

Thank you to everyone's wonderful support and caring words...I approached the subject with my son about going to MEPS the morning of his "ship out" date I wanted to see what his thoughts were or if he had any thoughts, (he's a kindof fly by the seat of his pants type kid) He said to me "Yeah sure, why not?" he also told me "Mom, I'm gonna be so nervous" I think my heart skipped a beat it was the first time he gave me any raw/real feelings on any of this.....so I think with all of your support I'm gonna put on my big girl shoes and march over to MEPS, I now have my answer, I will however have a box of tissues in my purse just in case :o)

I have a question if anyone knows the answer, my son ships out 10/27 there is another recruit that ships out 10/26 from his same station, I find it unusual that they are not shipping on the same date, why would they be scheduled on different dates from the same station going to the same place? (honestly I think my son would feel better if the two of them were leaving on the same date) Is it possible that my son or the other recruits date would be switched so that they would leave on the same date? And if so how soon would they notify either recruit? Maybe this is normal and I'm just overthinking things?

[pmgcakes]

Hi Elizabeth - Glad you made the decision to go. I think the ship dates have to do with the jobs that the sailors have rated for. His ship date is his ship date, there is no changing that. Unfortunately, We are all at the stage of the what the "navy needs" - not what we want. I know how you feel, I feel the same way, but I have always believed that everything I have taught him his entire life will come "in to play" at some point, and that some point has arrived for me. My emotional roller coaster was on a downward slide at the beginning of the week, weeks prior I was planning his going away party, the party was amazing, but when it was over the reality of what was to come hit me, and hit me hard, but I have to say Im doing better today, I know in my heart I've done everything for my son to prepare "him" for the journey he is about to begin.

[Lori_KingsBay_USSRI_Radio]

Elizabeth - I'm so happy for you! He will appreciate your support if he is nervous. I would be nervous too - its a huge step for these young people. A very couragous and adult decision - lots of unknowns.

pmgcakes - oh gosh; I'm glad you are doing better - reality does really hit doesn't it when it hits. I have Adam's party on the 16th and I am nervous about my emotions. I want to keep the party very upbeat! We are celebrating Adam's birthday the same night since his birthday is when he is at BC. Wish me luck!

[AngieFromWA:BUDS Mom/ HM alumnus]

You are welcome Elizabeth. What would you like to know? :-) Lori's suggestion of having someone else there to at least get some pics for you, if you decide not to go, is a good one. There has been many occasions when N4M members and friends have helped each other to "be there" for special moments, and have some first hand memories, even when the Mom or loved one of that Sailor couldn't be there themselves, like at PIR.

You have joined an amazing network of wonderful, caring people! Our N4Ms WA State Group for instance regularly welcomes new members whose Sailors have received orders to one of our three bases. The WA Moms tell the Sailor's loved one(s) about the area, plus other need to know info, and try to be available if help is needed; AND/OR if a Sailor needs to get away from the base, or could use a morale boost, a hug, homecooked meal or any combination of all those. :-) For some reason I can't fathom, the Navy seems to get a kick out of stationing FL or NC or other as far away on the map points of origin Sailors in WA! At least our scenery is breathtaking and very worth a 3,000 trip! =)

Also, we just moved my very new DIL to California a couple of months ago and this week, my son is going through some extremely challenging and difficult training and tests. I had hoped I could be there to hug him when all was done, and also to "hold her hand" (mutual support and comfort honestly) all through it, but I couldn't swing the time off or trip. :( I haven't seen my son in over six months now.

However, I have a couple of very dear friends, who I met first online here in one of our DEP/BC forums, who live very near where my DIL and son are. I arranged to meet them in person-we had lunch together-the day after we moved her in. What a treat to hug and chat away with the friends I'd already grown to know and love online, who now are like sisters to me offline as well! :-) New city, new life for my two, but I am at peace knowing that my N4M friends are just an SOS call away and would be there for my Sailor and his bride in a heartbeat! :D That's what being part of N4Ms and the Navy family is about! Now, aren't you so glad you joined?!

[AngieFromWA:BUDS Mom/ HM alumnus]

Betsy, there's an N4Ms friend I haven't really chatted with recently named JoanneB who is really involved on the MD Moms Group. Maybe you can join her and some of the others for one of their fun packing parties and get togethers! :-)

My buddy NavyMominMD is also a member there, but not real active on or with the Group, she's such a busy woman! She's great to bounce things off of, for support and answers to your questions. She also happens to be in Real Estate! :) Sorry to hear about the NM Group.