Major Decisions -- Could use some sound advice

[HesInTheNavy]

Hi all!

I'm a 38-year old woman entering into a serious relationship with a sailor.  I've known him for three years now, but only recently have we gotten serious.  He's 13 years younger than I am, so I wanted to make sure this wasn't a "fling" and we were both on solid ground before moving ahead.

This man is serious about marriage and family, and we have discussed that taking our relationship to the next level includes planning for a future together.  He is a loving, motivated, driven, charming man and will be an excellent partner and parent.

In planning for the next phase of our life, I'm trying to research what to expect with the Navy and how it will impact our life.  I'm realizing there is quite an interesting divide between the younger girlfriends/wives and the more mature women.  

I'm not interested in marrying this man for the benefits.   I have a career, can support my daughter and myself.  My job is remote, so I can work from anywhere in the US.  I'm educated, confident, independent and strong.

My concerns are:  

What kind of culture can I expect in the Navy?

What type of educational resources does the Navy have available to families with school age children?  I am worried that moving around may negatively impact my daughters school life and I want to stay ahead of that.

I've been reading quite a few blogs and stories that speak about Sailor's behavior when they are deployed, and how risky their personal behavior can be.  I've spoken openly to my boyfriend about this, but does anyone have advice/insight on this?

[judy r]

Trust trust trust main ingredient my son and his wife have been in the same location for 25 of his 28 yrs in the Navy.  He works hard to make sure they stay put so to speak.  Just recently he extended his sea time rather than rotate to shore because shore would have forced him to move to Japan for his last 2 yrs in the service.

[HesInTheNavy]

I should add, I've been looking for forums to connect with Navy spouses/girlfriends . . . but I've not been impressed (so far) with what is out there.  Most seem like a hive of catty children, others give away far too much personal or military information and seem like a huge security risk.  I feel like most Navy wives/girlfriends in forums are incredibly young and I have a hard time connecting.  Any suggestions?

[garden gal]

I can't speak to any of the questions regarding your relationship.  But as to the question about your daughter... my son is in the Navy now, so obviously I am a lot older than you & it has been a long time ago...but growing up as a Navy "brat" is something I wouldn't change for the world.  My daddy retired as a senior chief with 30 years of service.  I feel that moving frequently taught me to be flexible & open to making new friends, something that has helped me my entire life.  Also because you are usually moving from one Navy area to another you are just moving within the family so to speak.  The other kids I knew had shared the same experience, everyone knew what it was to be the new kid, much easier than moving to a new school where everyone has known each other their whole life. Were there bullies & jerks - sure.  But for the most part these were among the civilian kids. We all had each other's backs. Obviously this is just my experience (and my siblings) and it was a long time ago, but it was good for me.  Educationally--- went to 9 different schools - but I learned a lot about the world.  I had no problem getting into a really good college & on scholarship to boot, so I don't think it slowed me down academically at all.