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My boyfriend is leaving for boot on December 4, we set some ground rules for each other: too strict?
Hi ladies! My name is Claire, I'm 16. My boyfriend is 18. We've been together for about 9 months now and we are each others best friends. Of course, I'm not looking forward to him leaving at all, but I am really excited for him. We decided to det some rules for each other before he left so we feel more comfortable about the relationship, since we're going to be apart. I know during boot camp, he's not going to be allowed to go anywhere, but I said in A school I didn't want him goin gto any bars, clubs, frat parties, etc. I told my mom this and she said,"That's like him telling you that you can't go to any bars or parties in college." I didn't think about it that way. Am I being too strict? He didn't complain about the rule, but I don't want him to feel horrible about going to a bar with his buddies. It's just the girls there that worry me, because I know a lot of them will be looking for sailors. Any advice on how to stop being so worried that somethings going to happen? He's never given me a reason not to trust him. Thanks in advance!
P.S. -This is my first time on this site, and it's wonderful to see a place where everyone is so supportive. When I ask people stuff like this, they just say "It's not gonna work anyways, why are you guys even together?". Nice to see some positivity & understanding people. God Bless :))
Views: 154
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by BunkerQB on
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"Let things happen."
I would second that as a guide line. You are only 16 or 18 once in your life. It's really time to explore the world. It's possible that he might be tempted on shore leaves. It's possible that you might meet someone else to fall in love with. At 16 & 18, it's awfully hard to come up with rules for each other to live by. I believe if you are brought up properly, you each will respect each other. I always encouraged my sons to get involved only when they felt something in their hearts.
One thing I know is that guys hated to be labeled as a wimp - hen-pecked by a girl back home.
One thing you might want to talk about is that since he is only 18 and the legal age for drinking is 21, he would be better off hanging out with other sailors who are not of drinking age either. They can do things as a group (no bars). There is a NO TOLERANCE POLICY REGARDING UNDER AGE DRINKING. He could seriously jeopardize his Navy career.
Try to find ways to make the guide lines less a directive from you but a sound, rational approach for each of you to have a social life.
I believe your feelings are genuine. At 16 and 18 you could have feelings that will last a life time. It's worth working on. I think the two of you are off to a good start.
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