My daughter married suddenly right before she left....now what?

[Dinabobina]

So my daughter, only daughter made a brave decision to join and I am so excited for her. A few short weeks before she left she married in secret and kept it from the whole family. We eventually accepted it but now I'm having a seriously hard time with him being her first point of contact for everything from her phone calls to being responsible for her remains. Her and I were so close that it's truly freaking me out. Best part is that they only "knew" each other for a few weeks prior and weren't even dating. Now I feel so lost because I don't know what to expect while she is gone except with what info I get from her recruiter. The husband has been very good about sharing all the info he can....he also just joined and leaves for MEPS in a few days.

I don't know if this is somewhat typical out of her own fear or what. Guess I'm looking for others who have encountered this...any insight on how I can best support her in all her new adventures etc.

Thank you! I'm so excited to have found this site.

[lemonelephant]

You support her the same way you would if she weren't married. You continue to love and encourage her. She determines who she will write and who she will call. It is good that her husband is good about sharing info with you. If he leaves for MEPS in a few days, then she won't be able to write to him since recruits, even married ones, can't write each other except through a third party. Arrival and What Happens at the RTC will tell you what to expect. 

He may be given permission to attend her PIR and depending on where her "A" School is, she may be able to get a chit to attend his PIR.

Check your My Page for more info and groups.

[Craig]

Dinabobina - Love knows no boundaries.  Both were adults, and as much as I agree with you, it was their decision. In a normal marriage its really hard to make it work now a days, with dual military it's even harder.  They will really need to work on it.  
With that said, you really don't want to dwell on the past, it's all water under the bridge at this point. You want to focus on the future.  Keep in good standing with the new husband.  If you bad mouth him in any way then you will lose the open dialog.   
Just to give you some feedback.  If there is ever a GF or BF involved when the sailor ships off to boot camp, sadly it's normally the GF or BF that gets all the letters and phone calls.  When my son went through, had it not been for his GF calling us, we wouldn't have know much.  Again, the love for a woman (or guy) overrides that of a parent.  It's a totally different type of love.  

What is your daughter rating (job) and what is the new husbands rating?  That is the fear I see immediately.  When the Navy says they will try to get them to live in the same geographical area, that could mean 100 miles from each other.  

[Anti M]

The spouse co-location reg states that coming straight out of A school, co-location is not a primary factor.  

http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/reference/milpersman/1000/130...

Members completing training will be assigned to an
appropriate tour for these newly acquired skills, which may
preclude or limit spouse collocation consideration for the
duration of this post-training assignment.