My son just left yesterday

[mamakitty]

Hello all. My son just left for BC yesterday and it's been so hard for me! I find myself crying looking into his room, at the grocery store (not buying his favorite things), and I am even half tempted to sleep with one of his blankets :(

I work from home, and had him home with me for these past couple months since his high school graduation. He was my friend and helper throughout the day and now he's not here :(

I want to start writing to him right away.. can anyone give me advice on things to say and not say? I really worry about boot camp for him. Obviously I can't say that to him though. He has a lot of siblings that miss him too! I will include things from them as well.

Please tell me this gets better?? I am completely heartbroken that he has left (he's our first to leave the house, and to leave to join the Navy really freaked me out at first!!) I guess I'm just needing other moms in the same boat to go through this with!

Thanks ladies

[Winston]

Our son left on Veterans Day last year, (5 days after he turned 18!) so he was away for Thanksgiving and Christmas. His graduation came the week of the Arctic freeze in Chicago, we nearly couldn't get flights to get there for it, I decided if we couldn't get there by plane we would drive from CA!! Luckily we booked 2 days early so that we could fit in delays and made it just fine. He's now deployed on an aircraft carrier, on the other side of the world! The little 'so and so' wrote us ONCE, and 2 'conversation' phone calls, so the 8 weeks were stressful. But they all got through, and he's loving every minute of being in the Navy now! I wrote every day, even if it was just a card, find positive motivational quotes....I put one in each letter. He said it was great getting mail every day, photos, newspaper cutting, it's really important. Get any of his friends / family to write too. It'll be over before you know it, and the pride is just indescribable when they come marching through those 'garage doors'! I still miss him immensely, but this last phone call I didn't cry, for the first time.....he sounded just so happy! xx

[kendrajo]

Mine left a week ago yesterday and I do not yet have an address to write to him.  Waiting for him to write first could be a long wait, not his favorite thing to do. 

Our house became an empty nest when he left.  I have been keeping busy while at home do things I have put off for too long.

I am not sure anyone can tell you when it will get easier.  My thoughts are that I know how much my son wanted to do this and I have to be supportive.  I think of him all the time wondering what life is like for him right now. 

I pray all the time that God will comfort him through the tough and lonely times.

[mamakitty]

Thank you all so much!! It definitely helps to know that there are other moms out there going through this same process. Man, I never fully got the saying that deciding to have a child is a momentous decision.. for it's a decision to forever have your heart walking around outside of your body until now. And I have 7 other children to send off one by one.. and I don't know how I'm going to do it!!

I am really looking forward to receiving his form letter and his first personal letter. I still haven't received his 'box' and I have NO idea how I will react when I do get it...

 

I did get an address for him from his recruiter, but after reading the "Letters" section of this site.. I'm hesitant to send it off, for fear that it will be delayed (if I don't have the exact address). Anyone else in my situation send a letter off and have them get it somewhat sooner? Surely the recruiter would have given me his exact address? Hmmm

 

Thank you so much for the support ladies... it seriously helps to know that when I'm feeling down I have a place to come and get support!

[lemonelephant]

kendrajo, I left info for you on your My Page.

[Ilovemyjob]

My son just left on Tuesday. He was also home after graduation. He has 1 brother and 2 sisters, all younger. I have been a sobbing mess:( I can't even go in his room yet, I cry at the dinner table because his seat is empty. My son and I are very close, so I miss our chats that we always have.
My friends son is actually graduating today from the navy, and she promises it DOES get better. I can't imagine that right now, but it will. Can't wait to start getting his letters, it's going to feel like Christmas morning! :)

[lemonelephant]

Ilovemyjob, I left info for you on your My Page.

[jessang]

I feel your pain, n I hear your hurt. I did the same thing, I even closed my sons door to his room  I couldn't bare to look in to see empty. His car in the driveway everyday agenda was a chore for me to face. Just hear my out.I only have one son and one daughter. He took this approach all on his own so it was even harder for me to understand. When I got his first letter it was so informal, I thought it was going to be all mushy, instead it was basically him filing in the dates and names rest was typed ou by the Navy! UGHHHH right! Nobody prepared me for this I thought to myself. Then reading how strong all the other Moms were, I felt like I was crazy. This is my sons 3rd week Monday will be his 4th week, Ive gotten to talk to him (briefly) which hurt even more because he was so sick, But he is good! He actually sounded really GOOD, even though he was so sick! So what I am trying to tell you is no other experience will be like yours. One thing I have felt to be very comforting is....They are Safe!Please trust me when I say they are ok. I to this day haven't opened his door to his room, & a bit of advice when the box comes I had my husband open it and put his stuff away. Take this time to really let him grow. Hard I know, but Ive had to really let go, let me tell you its been a challenge. As time goes on I promise it gets easier or we just keep getting stronger :). Nothing or Nobody could of prepared me for the roller coaster of emotions, just know at the end when it stops our sons are Going to Be part Of A brotherhood, a family stronger then any bond. I hope this helps.

[Jackie]

I can't offer you anything on the perspective of the parent's side. I can however say it does get better and it gets easier. I am now experiencing the other side of things...I went through boot camp in 2003 and now my husband is there. He arrived at RTC Sept. 24th. This is the longest we have ever been apart and it was hard at first. He has been gone for almost 3 weeks now and it is not that bad. I actually feel like it is moving quickly at this point. I find myself wondering more about what he is doing than I do thinking about missing him. The hardest part is not being able to pick up the phone and talk to him when I want to. But my sadness has turned into excitement. Once you get the box and the form letter you start to feel the progress and its like time is finally moving forward. The box is exciting because it's like getting a little bit of them back (I found my husbands box a little comical because I've packed that box before). Then a few days later you will receive his form letter and that is exciting because you have a common date to look forward to with him (not to mention you can start planning for graduation). You'll have his address and you can start writing him and then look forward to his phone call. From what I'm hearing you will get the phone call before they even get your first letter. When you write to him be positive and encouraging (always have confidence in him). Tell him about things you are doing and ask him to tell you about his time there. When I was in boot camp I wanted to hear about what was going on back home (what my parents and friends were doing) because that was still the closest/most familiar thing to me. Don't let him know that you are worried. It's okay to tell him you miss him but leave it at just that and don't expand. Don't give him any news that might worry him. Be excited for him, this is an awesome experience, and boot camp is honestly an awesome experience. I couldn't be more proud of my husband right now and I'm so excited for the experiences the Navy will offer him. I am so happy he gets to do this, as much as I miss him now and will miss him when he is out to sea or deployed, this is his time and I couldn't be happier for him. 

I LOVED the Navy when I was in and I met a lot of great people and the Navy has given me a lot of experiences I could never have dreamed of. If you must count, count the weeks and not the days. Before you know it you will be hugging him again.

[lemonelephant]

Jackie, I left info for you on your My Page.

[Winston]

I'm not sure if others agree, but I would wait until you get his form letter, then you will know the address is exact. Keep writing the cards and letters, post them all at once but just put a number (or date) on the back, then he will know which comes first!

[lemonelephant]

Yes, waiting on the form letter is best.

Check your My Page.

[CryptoDad]

Angelchristine,

How do you know that the girlfriend hasn't read this posting? Be careful what you say, N4M is open to anyone, not just moms. There are plenty of girlfriends that come here too.