My son left for bootcamp I am lost...

[ktzmom02]

I am inconsolable.I never knew this would be so difficult for me. My son graduated from high school a little over a month ago and left yesterday for boot camp, My daughter is ten years old and I love her dearly but I am lost without my son and cannot stop crying. I feel lost without him. We were so close we did so many things together, I don't know what I am going to do now that he is not here with us. Has anyone ever been in this situation? If so please respond I could really use some comforting words about now.

[Colten's Mom-Nuke A school 1207A]

I still cry every day and he has been gone since June 21. I feel like someone has just reached in and pulled half of my insides out. It is very hard to stay positive at times. all I have to do is think about him and I start crying like i ma doing now just writing this.

[Erinaday (Ship 13 DIV 265)]

Hang in there Donna.  I know it's hard. 

[msu4ensics]

My son left 3 days ago for basic.  Initially his joining was my idea.  He got himself into a tiny bit of trouble and mom had to bail him out.  Now, myself previously being in the military I gave him options - 1. I don't pay the ticket and he goes to jail or 2. I pay the ticket and he joins the military.  He choose the Navy.  After a few months of waiting to go to basic he looked at me and said "You know mom, joining the military is the best thing for me.  If I stay here, I will turn out to be a loser just like my father".  Now you have to keep in mind, the biggest reason for him saying that was because we live in such a small town that there really are not any jobs, there are no colleges, we live 7 miles from town, he has no car or license.  There really was nothing here for him to better his own life.  I am so very proud of him yet it was still very hard to let him go.  I cried and I still tear up from time to time.  The hardest part for me is not being able to know what exactly is going on.  I have all these thoughts running through my head: What's he thinking?, What's he feeling?, Is he dealing with everything ok?, Is he having any issues?, etc.  As his mom, who has always been there for him, it is very hard to deal with not being there to help him through the tough parts.  I want to be there with him step by step to tell him...do this, don't do that.  I never thought it would be this hard to let your child go off on his own.  I do have an 11 year old son, who is more than a handful and I love him no less than my 19 year old (I do have 2 other children but they both live in another state).  It's just really weird not having my 19 year old around.  He was always there to make me laugh, to help around the house, to help take care of his little brother while I was at work.  I mean, he was like one of the greatest kids every and I miss him so very much.  I can't wait to hear from him and find out how he is dealing with everything.  The hardest part is not being there to guide him.

Hang in there, it seems that you are not the only one having these feelings.

[BunkerQB]

Give yourself a pat on the back. You are letting go. It's really important at this very moment in his life; otherwise, he will never develop his own sense of self and be a man. Because of your situation, he has become your emotional partner and support system. This will be hard for you until you realize you too will have to take the road ahead by yourself. You look very attractive and you sound like you have other things going for you. What not take an online internet course to better yourself too? Maybe even relocate to someplace with more opportunities - if not for yourself, then for your 11 year old son. Good luck.

[msu4ensics]

Thanks.  I plan to eventually move back to Arizona (unless God has other plans for me).  This town was just a place to get back on my own two feet after a bad relationship.  However, I have 3 college degrees as it is (not saying that I couldn't use more, haha) and I work for an attorney.  It's just really hard not knowing (I mean, I kind of know but it's different for him).  I just received his address today so I am very excited to write him and find out how he is doing. 

[jle0377]

My eldest son just graduated from school in June and left for bootcamp yesterday, August 22nd, and I miss him terribly.  My 12 year old son cries randomly and my 8 year old son just keeps repeating that he misses his big brother.  My son's fiance is living with me as well and she feels a little lost without him right now.  We haven't gotten an address to write him yet, but he did say he would call again in 3 weeks...I've talked to my son almost every single day of his life, so this is definitely hard for me.  I am proud of him though and can't wait to hug him again.  He did tell me he wouldn't be back after bootcamp graduation, so I'm sad about that as well.

[caseys40]

It WILL get better, but it takes a bit....your next hump will be getting your "kid in a box" without the kid. That will come within a couple of days, it contains the clothing that he wore when he left. No note or anything just the clothes. My son graduates in 3 days up in Great Lakes, Ill. and I'm back to crying again. I didn't know about any of these Navy websites until 2 weeks ago, so I was left to deal with my emotions on my own. There are sooooo many wonderful people on here that will help you get through this difficult time. There's always someone to listen and give words of comfort. There's also the Navy recruit training center on facebook that you can join...look for your son's ship and division number and you can speak to others that have loved ones in the same group. Just remember that you definitely NOT ALONE on this journey....your next feeling will be the most proudest mother you ever thought you could be. Make sure you write him tons of letters, at first he may write and say he hasn't gotten any letters from you, it takes time in the beginning for them to get their mail, but keep writing. I missed my son's first phone call home, he left a voice mail, and he was choking back the tears and it BROKE MY HEART INTO A MILLION PIECES. I actually missed 4 phone calls from him, and he left June 28th. The first time I actually got to hear his voice and talk to him was last Friday after they completed Battle stations. My first words to him were, "Oh God, I love you!!!!!" It was wonderful to hear that "Hi Mom!" And, it was the best 20 minutes and 35 seconds of my life to talk to him!! Hang in there! We're all here to help you through!

[msu4ensics]

I just got my son's box on Tuesday. I was so excited thinking there would be a note inside but nope, no note. They also made him send home all the hygien stuff I sent with him and it was only travel size stuff but I thought that was kind of weird. By the looks of how his clothes were it looked as if he rushed to get his clothes off. I still haven't received a phone call yet and I make sure I take my phone with me everywhere...literally. I'm afraid that as soon as I leave it sit somewhere that's when he will call and I will miss it. I can't wait for his call. It sure is different being on the other side of basic training.

[msu4ensics]

Thanks for letting me know about the PIR 10/14/2011 page.  I got the generic letter yesterday.  You know, the one that our soldiers just basically fill in the blank, haha.  He was allowed 4 lines at the end of the letter to write what he wanted to say.  Sounds like he is doing good.  Said he hasn't been yelled at yet (it's nice to know that it seems like he took my advice and is keeping his mouth shut and doing what he is told).  Seems like he has already made some friends. He has even been given a nickname already...Dobey (the creature from the first Harry Potter movie, I don't know why they named him that, haha).

[msu4ensics]

I will not lose it.  I keep it in my purse everywhere I go.  Yes I know that's kind of corney but I can take it out and look over it again and again.  When I joined the Army the best advice I was given before I went was to keep my mouth shut and do as I was told.  I just passed it on to him.  I made it through basic without most of the drill sgts knowing my name.  haha

[BunkerQB]

Scan it and email it to yourself. Save email.

[msu4ensics]

Hey, there's an idea.  Never thought about that.  Thanks