I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.
Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.
I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....
Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?
This is my first real experience with the military and as much as I've tried to prepare over the past several months, it all caught up with me when my son left. The emotional impact caught me unawares, I did share those feelings and I'm really sorry to have made you feel uncomfortable. My main goal, too, in participating in this forum is to be better informed & make new friends so I can be just as supportive & strong for my son. As he goes through boot camp, I intend to learn everything I possibly can because I want my son to be as proud of me as I am of him.
I am in awe of your strength and think you have much to offer this group. I can only hope by your example to one day be as strong & supportive.
Hope you'll give this weenie another chance to try :)
Oh gosh...don't think you made me feel uncomfortable!!!! I'm good, just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one not feeling as emotional as most people did. I honestly expected to feel more upset..but I think my pride for what direction he is taking his life overpowers everything.
I'm an info-junkie & here to learn as much as I can about his new world. Pretty awesome experience for him I think.
Take care & reach out whenever you need!
Weenies are fine. This site is for everyone. Sometimes we are strong. Other times we cry at a drop of a hat. Of course, you'll learn to keep it together when your son ask you how you are doing. Remember they worry about us too. Supporting each other is the reason for this site.
A couple of things:
1. Often the state our emotions is indicative of where we are as mom (not necessarily connected w then going into the military but leaving the nest in general) - we spent 20-22 years being the mom - now what am I? Our relationship is changing - I wish I could relive (not permanently of course) those cherished days when he was a carefree/stress free smiling little guy. I don't know about you guys but I get those moments all the time - all choke up - how did the time go by so fast? Sometimes we go the other direction - darn, why can he grow up faster - so his dad and I can kick back and enjoy babysitting all those grandchildren we should have by now (w any luck and some cooperation of a few young ladies - I have two sons).
2. We are so used to having connectivity at all times (text, voice mail, email, skype, Facebook, etc) and up to date info on their status that we have to go thru an adjustment on communications. It takes a while but you'll get use to it. And you'll survive.
No you aren't alone, I didn't cry so much when my son left for bootcamp. I felt the same as you. I think what was the hardest for me was the fact that he was unavailable for so long, but I still wasn't devistated it just sucked because I was so use to being able to respond. I actually broke down more when I left for Great Lakes to watch his graduation from BC, I was way more emotional than I had ever been, part of which was because I felt so proud! It is weird to see the respect you and your new Sailor will get. Something I had never even imagined, and I was also very emotional when the huge door rolled up and all the Sailors walked in. But I didn't cry through the entire graduation either.
I will admit seeing him off at the airport after graduation was the absolute hardest for me...I bawled and so did my mom, totally caught us by surprise.
What I love about this site is that I get questions answered and learn more about the journey that my son has signed up for. Military life is new to me, and I had so many questions but so few answers. This site has helped to answer so many questions. Gave me tricks and tips for BC graduation, what rules I had no idea about, like public display of affections while in uniform, what is and isn't allowed. This site is also helping me to know what different rates and requirements are.
I think you will fit in just fine, and you will find it will be beneficial. What is your son going to do after BC? My son is in for Hospital Corpsman and he is in the SAR (Search and Rescue for Corpsman) program.
You are not alone!!!!!!!!
Right now the hardest part is waiting. Sadly BC sucks & I'm sure he's pretty miserable. Making it through this is going to make him a different person.
I have a feeling graduation is going to be the emotional time. We are more passionate about what our kids do than I think our kids are.
Chas is going into Aviation Electronics. Not sure if that's the right fit for him...we'll see :)
It's definitely an adventure.
I have to agree with everyone who says that we all react different. After I read that you had said your son was 23 and sleeping on your couch, I, too, would have been like you - ready for my son to go. My son graduated high school in May, joined in July and headed out the door for boot camp in Oct. The biggest thing I have gotten out of this site is the Molly's Adopt a sailor program. I help them out every month and love it. I have found some of the other groups there are folks in there who clearly know everything and must correct everything that others say. It's sometimes hard in that aspect. I found the most support when I joined the PIR group on Facebook. From their I have found a lot of great/supportive people. A lot of them - like you with older sons too!
Molly's sounds like a great program. Wonderful way to give back.
And yup....I was VERY ready for him to move on with life, but not so much as his dad was:)
It's not always easy to have the shoe on the other foot. I have been on this site for 4 years. The same group people are still here. We are asked the same questions over and over again. Often, if we don't reply asap - people chew us out. People expect SOMEBODY will answer, SOMEONE will take care of it. Well, who are those somebodies? We are just moms like everyone else - with real feelings. I am sorry if anyone said anything that made it difficult for you. Good luck to you and your son.
It's ok BunkerQB - it's not you! I've not ever asked a question on this site, but when others ask, I will state my experiences and there is 1 particular person who just happens to be in more than 1 of the same groups I am in and even when it's MY experience or MY son's, this person corrects me. I don't know how they would know, they aren't there. I can only speak of my experience, but to correct me when they aren't there is frustrating. I've left 90% of the groups I was originally in and will be dropping 2 more as soon as my son is out of A school, which will hopefully eliminate this person from being such a problem! But, without this site, I wouldn't have found Molly's, which I love!
Those folks are everywhere :)
Each journey is different & each brings a different piece to the puzzle. Whether it's for 2 days, 6 months or several years - we all play our part in this & hopefully something we have said & done will help someone else along the way.
Keep smiling & hang in there!!!
Molly's does a lot of good. I have to confess that I enjoyed sending the packages to specific sailors more. For example, a sailor wrote to his mom specifically asking if she could send something to one of his buddies who had gotten absolutely nothing in a year. This mom came to us and ask if anyone was interested in helping since she and her husband were on a tight budget (due to the economy what else?). Of course, a number of us jumped and put together a nice package for this sailor in need of a care package. I know the Blue Star Moms do a fantastic job - there are local chapters all over the US - in case you are looking for more groups. Many questions you have I might not be able to answer but I can definitely point you in the right direction. My son finished his commitment to the Navy in 2012 - things change. Additionally, he went in after graduating from college as an officer - he was older, more mature, had been away from home. My information relating the the enlisted personnel is from this site, from talking to all the moms/dads in my geographical group. In my San Fran Bay Area group, we have members from all walks of life, officers & enlisted. We all get together, no distinctions. Those who can provide more and are up for it would host more meet and greets. People contribute what they can. Being older myself (65), my husband and I have some expertise/knowledge that some of our younger members (40s & 50s) don't have. We are always glad to be of assistance to our N4M friends. All are welcome in the group regardless of where she/he lives. BQB.
when my husband was deployed to iraq we used to love sending boxes to the soldiers who didn't receive anything, always made my day :)