I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.
Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.
I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....
Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?
I cant have children of my own so my closeness to my stepson is beyond what i can even imagine with my own child. My stepson was 10 when he moved in with us, about to turn 19. i was raised in a very emotional family so it hard for me to adjust to change my feelings and worries. my stepson leaves for BC in 11 days. I stay quite strong in front of him however, I have had a few teary nights with my husband who is a Desert Storm Navy Vet. He keeps telling me that this will be such an amazing experience for him. I know it. I want it for him. I want to be the strongest person for him. I want to be more like you even. I admire that. I am praying that God give me that peace when it is time to part. Thank you for sharing. It reminds me to stay strong.
Thank you and thank you again for sharing. :)
There is nothing wrong with a few tears (I just don't let mine see them :) , It will be amazing for him and hard on you. You will have the strength to let go. It's amazing how we can find that strength when we need it. My husband is probably the biggest reason I could do so. He kept telling me to be strong to help our son be strong. God is always with us as well. I pray a lot and remind myself that it's in God's hands. My prayer life is SO much stronger than it was before. :) Every time I start to worry I pray.
I met my husband when I was 19 and he was in the Navy. He taught me to "Never say goodbye", ALWAYS say, "See you later". We use this still today. :)
I am relatively new out here but I can tell you, you are not alone!
I also cried when he left, and am anxious to get letters and hear his voice and cant wait to see him. But I am not falling apart. I have already started cleaning out his room.
I am so excited for him and proud of him! This opportunity is not about me, but about him!
On the same page with you,...
I know this is a long time after, but I just got on the site for the 2nd time ever since my son left 1/2014.
I saw this comment and it just clicked. I also feel the same way. My husband is a Navy vet (Sub) and so I guess I just have a different way of looking at this. Yes I miss my son, (he's very much like me, he doesn't call much and is very independent), but I know he's doing great. I guess I just feel he's doing something important instead of sitting around and getting into trouble like I see others he graduated from High school doing. This is his journey and we support him 100% and are very proud of his choice that he made. I have never been the Mom that holds your hand to do everything. I'm the mom teaching you how to do it yourself and then cheers you on your way to doing so.
Sorry to ramble on so long. I was just very pleased to read that someone else seems to feel the same way I do.
Amen, Ang3and1! This is such an awesome thing they are doing, for whatever reason!
My daughter leaves today. I am going through so many emotions. I really wish that I was like you. I think that it makes it easier for them if you don't show them all of the emotions. My daughter is very worried about how this is going to affect me. The last thing I want her to worry about is me. It takes a very strong woman to provide the strength that you have with your son.
Stepup242, my son was very worried abt me too. No matter how much I tell him not he does. Of course I fret and wish he could call and write more, but I trust in the fact his in good hands! I raised him to be independent. My mom didn't raise us that way and almost crippled my older brother. So I wanted different. We all have good days and bad. Together, we will all get through this, stronger for the experience!
It's really great that you can look at the way your mom did things and decided to do it differently with your own son. At some point, my sons decided that THEY had to make choices for themselves and their future. Isn't it difficult to say that your brother might have been inclined to let go of the apron strings? So, having a mother who wouldn't let go make it easy for him to lay back and let your mother be the fall person regardless of the decision. I guess what I am saying is your brother could have made his own decision and take action. Moms tend to be protective (over protective) because they can't stand to see their sons/daughters get hurt, be disappointed, become a failure.
This is not a criticism of your mother, your brother or you. I am always fascinated by the differences in outcome based on upbringing, personalities of the parents, particularly the mother.
BunkerQB, you pretty much nailed it. Don't get me wrong, I had an awesome mom! But there were definitely things I observed that I wanted to do different.
Yup! We miss our guy greatly but are thrilled for him and yes it's their journey. I am not a helicopter Mom, here when he needs me but otherwise he's strong and doing well. Ours graduates 9/12, yours?