I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.
Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.
I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....
Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?
This is probably my biggest complaint w social networking and "support" groups. Everyone wants someone around when they need help but only a handful stay around afterwards to pay it forward. I don't have a solution.
Here's what gets me...
There are over 91,000 members of N4M. 91,000!! But you go to the Sailor Mom Stories discussion and find 110 discussions. 91,000 parents and only 110 stories that they want to share? Hasn't your Sailor been somewhere interesting, done something exciting, earned awards, been promoted or met Kal 'Kumar' Penn?Remember, "Its not just a job, its an adventure"? Where's the adventure? I for one, want to know everyone's adventure! Please stick around and share the good stuff. If all that gets shared is concerns over push divisions, phone cards, colored envelopes, wisdom teeth and crying over boxes of dirty clothes, then moms like 29junkie aren't going to stick around. Boring! Maybe more positive stories will ease the concerns of the moms in need of support. Share the adventure and maybe it becomes more about our kids and less about us.
Ok, off my soapbox.....
Great point CryptoDad. As a mom with a SR in BC I really really really appreciate the experienced moms and dads that stick around in the BC thread and answer the same questions over and over. I'm not sure I have the patience to do that but I'll certainly be sticking around N4M to share joys and sorrows with other Navy moms and dads.
I agree w CryptoDad, too. I wish people would stick around.
I also feel that way about groups. I have questions about some things on an overseas deployment. I was told to "Join XX group," which i did. Then i noticed there hasn't been even one post in that group since the end of 2012. When i look at it, i see the last two posts were from people kinda looking for help, that no one answered. So much for that group. :((( I do realize people have probably lost interest in that group cuz their DS or DD are no longer stationed there, but, still makes me sad.
Speaking for myself only, one of the problems is, it is the same questions being asked over and over again.
I think there should be a required page you must scroll through then accept at the end before you can get to the discussion pages. There will not always be a small group who do stick around to answer the same questions over and over again. Thank goodness for someone like lemonelephant who does it time and again.
As for other topics, it does seem true that people gather the information they need, then never bother to pay it forward. Perhaps someone should start a thread about that very thing and it should be stickied to the top.
There are tons of dead threads and boards around here. Perhaps a cleanup is due as much of the information posted is probably dated anyway.
It is ironic that a board about not fitting in, is the biggest thread.
Several years ago,
I never got an answer from the Navy For Moms admin on the above items.
When a member is approved by the N4M admin, a message should go out with the approval that they should read their own profile page. An explanation of how the site works would be nice.
I have other projects in my life now. My son has been out for 3 years. Others will need to do the clean up. Concernedad & Cryptodad, has been my pleasure to get to know you two.
I feel the same way. I am so happy for my son and fee like this is such a positive step in his life. I kind of feel bad as well. I don't think you're heartless at all.
You're not heartless. I'm not a cryer and my son isn't comfortable with tears and goodbyes and doesn't understand why other family members can't be happy for him. It's difficult for parents to let go. I've been cleaning the house and feeling weird about life so I suppose I'm coping in my own way until I get over it. I have a daughter graduating from high school in a couple months too so I'm trying to figure out who I am if I'm not taking care of kids. Change is good....uncomfortable at first, but good.
I am with you. My hubby leaves soon and I'm not upset about it at all. This is his dream and I couldn't be more proud to see him following it. I know it will be hard on us and me on some days, but to me the bottom line is this makes him happy and that makes me happy. To be honest I'm much more excited about all the opportunities for us as a family and his mile stones then sad about him leaving. I do worry about how he will do in boot camp and about how long it will be before i can spend the night with him again. I feel like you shouldn't feel out of place. There are lots of women like us but i believe we are just the quite ones.
I love your attitude littlesusanq! With your positive support your husband will do just fine. Best of Luck to him in boot camp and I hope the time goes by quickly for you. When he leaves, just remember that each day you get up you'll be one day closer to seeing him!