Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[Kathleen]

I am excited for my son's decision, commitment and future.  I miss him like crazy  - sure...but he is continuing to grow and this is a huge step toward his ultimate goal.  No tears here.  Not to say that the flood gates won't open up when I see him at graduation.  BUT...they will be tears of love and pride.  

[scubagirl]

Welcome to this group.  Great attitude.  I know this is the best decision my son has made in a long time.  He is 22 and decided college was not his thing at this point in his life and they Navy was what he wanted to do.  Tears of pride at PIR.  Can not wait to see him in October in Groton at B.E.S.S. graduation.  One more step in making a future for himself. 

[Shelley]

My son is 21 and just like your son decided college was not for him. I couldn't have said it any different.  It was a relief to me when he finally decided on a direction that he himself chose and spent almost a year preparing for.  Good luck and best wishes for you and your son!

[Gracie]

J@29junkie, I just wanted to say that yes, you do fit in! Without going into a lot of detail, I will just tell you that my Son was away from me during some of his HS times. (not a bad thing-a good thing) He did a great deal of maturing & was here from May - July when he left & we had incredibly fun times making up for all those not so good times, so...all that to say, any tears (which to this point hasn't been many) are in celebration that he has finally come into what he wants for his life. I am so incredibly happy & excited for him. I know I'll cry buckets on 09/19 having both Sons in uniform. I am in the same boat, no tears & loneliness, just excitement for this new journey for all these wonderful young men & women who've chosen to serve our great country.

[mshubbs]

My son left last Thursday,  I truly know how you feel, I just got his package today and that along made me feel great, Just keep telling your self that this is his journey and know that you are not alone. I have cried just about everyday i think is's normal because we love our kids so much,, Keep the faith and be strong i hope it will get easier for you. God bless 

[michaelmommahuleo]

i cried all the time but i come from military background and i now my aunt never shed a tear that i saw but her words were i know its the best for him........ my son was also my best friend he is now in A school and i rarely get to speak to him maybe an hour a week i still miss him dearly but the tears are fewer and i know its his life dont feel heartless people are different you just know hes strong enough 

[patty]

I am right there with you.  Our son had decided to join many years ago and was so excited to go.  That made it easy for us because we knew he was following his dream.  Your right, this is their future, not ours.  We raise them to be independent and therefore we have to let them spread their wings.

When does your son have PIR?

PS your not heartless :)

[Kootiebear]

My daughter does not leave until August of 2015.  I agree that everyone reacts differently, but I also agree I feel out of the loop sometimes.  Maybe because right now we are frustrated with our daughter.  She will turn 18 in December and we are butting heads a bit about her meeting her responsibilities.  When she went to MEPS in August she was gone for 48 hours.  Yes it seemed strange for my husband and I not to see her but I think we are used to her being gone either for work, school, volunteering or Navy responsibilities.  Actually she was the one who freaked out about being in a hotel room by herself.  She called my husband and I a lot in that time.  We told her it was a taste of what she will experience next year when she goes to Bootcamp.

[charleston]

My son left August 20 and I did not cry. I know this will lead him to a good life and so does he. He will also be close for A school so that may be another reason. I did cry a few days prior but that was because I was going to miss his humour and wit. And his hugs of course! :-)

[Cheryl59]

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[BunkerQB]

CHERYL59, please delete your comment.

[BunkerQB]

You don't have to rush it if you feel yourself falling back to being weepy. It happens. It's part of saying goodbye to their childhood and their need of you. As moms, a part of us will always want to have those days back. But give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.