My 19 yr old daughter just left for boot camp on Tuesday and I was fine until that last phone call.... Hearing the tired tone in her voice and knowing what was ahead of her- it just broke my heart. She stated that I wouldn't hear from her for at least three weeks. Wow, I thought it was only two weeks! I would love any suggestions for getting through these next few weeks of no contact. I thought I of starting a journal so I would remember things I wanted to write or say to her (about funny things that happened, etc). But every time I think of her or see her picture, I get emotional. I am so proud of her but miss my girl! I am very happy to have found this group. :)
Start writing letters now. Seal them and number the outside of the envelope. By the time you are able to send her mail, she will really appreciate having these letters from home.
Watch the videos that are posted around here somewhere showing what she will be going through. It's much easier to handle when you can understand what she is experiencing. Also, this will give you questions to ask her about her experience.
Count the weeks, not the days. Keep track on your calendar by Fridays. It is much easier if you keep yourself busy and think about what week she is in.
Don't count on those phone calls or letters or it will drive you crazy. Some SR's get more phone calls. Some get less. However don't assume getting calls or not getting them means anything good or bad. Repeat after me, "no news is good news".
Once you find out your daughter's division and possible PIR date, join that group on this website. It really helps to be able to discuss and get information from others going through the same thing.
Don't believe everything you hear from other mother's posts. When my son went through Boot Camp, one of the mothers of their brother division (or is it called sister division? I don't even remember now) kept posting all sorts of negative stuff about my son's division. None of it turned out to be true, but it bugged the heck out of me the whole time.
Remember, we've all been through the same thing. She'll be fine. She'll be done before you know it, and she's safer at Boot Camp than she would be in a college dorm.
Thanks so much for the advice! You have given such great things to do :) It does help to hear from other parents who are or have been through this stage. And you are very correct about better than a dorm.. my other daughter is in college and that is just as stressful (if not more sometimes).
Tori'smom...I KNOW your pain. My soon to be 19 year old, left back on the 12th. Knowing what's in store and not being able to talk to her was HARD! Then when her division did get to make calls, I did not receive one. Turned out she had watch. I just got the make up call this week; 3 weeks in. That first week was VERY hard. Then as I continued my research on this site and reached out to other parents, the pride came in heavier.
I truly embraced the "No news, is good news". Because if you do get a call prior to that it very well could be a "I'm being sent home" call. And knowing how much my baby wanted to do this, I had to stay strong to encourage her! LOTS of prayers helped. Stay busy, it's true. I wrote all my encouraging words in letters and did as Concernedad suggested, just held them until time to mail them. I put all my struggles in a journal.
I truly know your pain and I can say (for me) it did get easier, but that first week I cried at EVERYTHING. Just keep telling yourself, this is for her, this is her decision. The pride that they feel for themselves is something unmeasurable.
I finally received letters and 1 call this week. She wrote that there are stressful days, but the experience is so great. She says it's all surreal, she still can't believe that she is doing this and she is really proud of herself. Just imagine your daughter and the journey she is on from your baby to a US NAVY SAILOR!
I know my words do not ease your pain (or fears) but this support system is great! You are NOT alone!!!! HOOYAH to our future sailors!!!!
thanks so much! i do believe the pain will get easier.. hearing from other parents has already made it a little more bearable. And I know once the communication begins that will make it easier.
And I love that she is doing something she has wanted for the past two years. She agreed to do a year and half of college before going in... she said she just couldn't wait so we couldn't get her to finish up her two year but she has plans to continue on as soon as she can. She is going in as a coreman (is that right? she going in medical section). I am now trying to learn all the terminology... as a Navy mom I have to know them.. LOL :)
Again thanks for your help and I hope your daughter continues to grow into an incredible sailor!! We have raised great kids!! :)
Hopefully she's going to become a "corpsman" and not a "coreman" which would be a whole different thing.
I would guess a coreman would require digging holes" ...and maybe a sex change?
LOL!!! Thanks for the correction... that was hysterical! I better start brushing up on my terms. Definitely don't want to be telling people she's a coreman!! Thanks for the laugh :)
The first batch of letters I received was truly food for my heart!!!
My daughter was enrolled in college and decided in August not to go, I admire her for recognizing she wasn't ready for that yet. She instead is following in my footsteps, although I retired AF. It took me a while to accept her choice :) But she is truly doing what I couldn't! I chickened out of the Navy option! LOL
I bet your daughter is adjusting well. My daughter shared that the first day they got to wear their uniforms she felt 'official'. I love the sticker comment below...we only get stronger! Your daughter is growing with strength as well...
I am just beaming with pride over here and I am ALMOST to the halfway point. For me, watching the CNN youtube video on the Battlestation's eased my fears and I think that might of been when my pride started to overcome my fear. Thinking about the "I'm a sailor" call and how proud she will be of herself!
HOOYAH Tori'smom...WE got this!!!!
Your daughter sounds like my daughter... college just wasn't her cup of tea at the moment. And it does take awhile to digest that as a parent. I was glad she at least got a 1 1/2 years done. I am so proud of her strength and desire to do something so life changing... And that sticker below is fantastic! Each day is getting better, thanks to people like you giving great advice and stories!! thanks
"... she has plans to continue on as soon as she can."
That will come after she completes her formal training and has settled into her first duty station. At that time she can look into the Navy College Program. The NCP will give her $4000 a year to take college courses on her own time. Too few Sailors take advantage of this benefit.
thanks for the info... I will keep that info so she can look into it down the road!!!
love this! Thank you ;)