She decided to join the Navy....

[Susanw004]

Hello everyone!

My daughter has recently informed me that she will be joining the Navy.  This is something I did NOT expect from her as she is what I call a "girly girl".  She has done her homework on the Navy, she knows it will be the hardest thing she will ever do.  But she is determined to make something of her life and this is the path she has chosen.  She is 17 and will be graduating from high school in May.

When she first told me (and she was scared to death to tell me), I was shocked and kind of angry that she would want to do this.  However I didn't let her see that.  I have been 100% supportive and encouraging.  When she is not around, that is a completely different story.  I am sad.  She is my only child and I can't imagine her being gone so far away and for so long.

Tonight, for the first time, I sat outside and bawled my eyes out.  You know...the ugly cry!!  She wasn't home.  I keep remembering her a small innocent child, playing in our pool and calling me "mommy".  This is the memory that continues to go through my head when I think about her leaving.  Are there stages of emotions, like there are with death?  I would love to hear other mom's stories about how they felt with and dealt with the news that their child was going into the military. 

I look forward to getting to know all of you other moms out there as time goes on.  Thank you for reading, thank you for supporting each other and God Bless!

Susan

[sheila]

My daughter id the same thing. She is my only one too. I feel your pain I just keep telling myself she is going make herself a good life. I will miss her so much all I want to do is cry. We have had nice long conversations since then and I have made her a photo book.( you can do through wallgreens) I wish you the best

[LindaB]

Susan,

  Your daughter will be fine...My only son joined the Navy 15 years ago...And he loves it. He is still in. He was 19 when he went in. When you see her after boot camp, you will notice how much she has grown in joining. I cried too...but we have to let them fly in order for them to grow. It will be an amazing experience for you both. And a great career choice!! 

 

Linda in Texas

[Angelina]

First off let me be honest..yes it is a very hard decision but something the officer said at my husbands swear in has stuck with me and has made me very proud.."only 1% in our entire nation risk their lives and give up their freedoms to serve this country regardless what the reason is it is still 1%." And as hard and sad the decision is there is a sense of pride bc she is doing something most people won't do. So to her thank you for your decision and definitely many prayers to her when she is in basic. It is going to be hard on both her and you during this time bc little contact will be made and she will be tested but she can do it! And you can do it too! You just gotta keep busy and think positive and always be supportive ! Good luck to you and your daughter!!!(:

[Lauryburg]

Hi, Susan! Just wondering if your daughter ever got around to joining the Navy and if so, how's it been? For you and her? Anyhow, hope everything is well!

[mav715]

Your daughter will be just fine. She sounds like she's done her homework. I commend her for the decision and wish you and her all the best, it won't be easy but nothing worth achieving ever is - just love and support her, that's all you can really do. It won't be easy for you either, but she seems to be very happy and excited about her decision. Trust me, I've been there. My daughter is a Marine. She did her homework and I'd never seen her so excited in my life after she joined. I pray for her every night and one of the proudest moments in my life was being there for her at boot camp graduation. Our girls are awesome as is every other who decides to wear the uniform regardless of branch.

[Marianne K ~ Ship 14 Div 005]

Hi Susan - my son (also an only child) decided in 10th grade that the NAVY was for him also. He shared with us no problem but from day 1 I was terrified. Having a child leave home for college is one thing but to join the military (any branch) is a whole different ball of wax. We were 100% supportive but from the time he told us until when he left (just this week 9.17.13) I dreaded the day when he would "leave me".  It seems to be a mix of the normal cycle of life and being terrified that your child won't "make it".  Deep down I know he is capable (as I think they all are with the right drive behind them) but yes, it is the biggest thing they will do thus far in their lives.  One piece of advice is this website. I was signed up and aware months ago but didn't really feel I needed the support until this week. I was wrong. Should've been reading and watching videos ages ago. So watch videos and read and read and I promise it will at least ease your mind a little and perhaps make you feel more prepared for what is to come. I thought that maybe he should've watched before he left but that depends on the kid I guess. Being a senior is stressful as it is, so maybe watching some things together is good. My child was not communicative about things while he was DEP (delayed entry program) so if I had been looking here, a lot of my questions would've been answered! Let me know if there is anything else I can do!

[Bethin NY (Ship 11 025)]

Marianne,  This was a wonderful post ! I too am struggling with our Boy leaving on Oct 3.  I hope we've been sucessful at appearing 100% supportive, as the Lord knows I sure don't always feel that way. I lay awake alot @ night fearing that something will happen & he won't "make it".  I then feel guilty  because I know a little piece of me would selfishly embrace that.  I hope he doesn't get that vibe as I know this may be a wonderful choice for him.  He had 3 yrs of community college with no real direction, was working @ Walmart changing tires & hating it.  I pray the Navy will help him find a direction and make a successful life.  I know that someday he will have to be on his own - his Dad & I won't live forever, so I want him to be a productive, self supporting adult that knows how to make good choices. Too bad there is nowhere in NY for Sailors - my heart hurts knowing that he will never live with us again, but I am trying to ignore that and focus on what is good for him , not so much what works for me :)  Thank goodness for this website - at least I feel like I have a grip on what to expect.  The great unknown is MUCH scarier !

 

[Marianne K ~ Ship 14 Div 005]

I know that guilty feeling Beth! I found myself crying on and off the day before he left (took the day off work to spend with him) and I thought he had caught me crying but he said he didn't - they see what they want to see just like we do! LOL

[momofone]

My son dropped this bomb on me a week ago and I have been spending hours a day trying to get information. He had the same discussion with me about making something of his life etc, and I have told him everyday how proud I am no matter what he chooses to do (Navy or college). I think he is scared to go out into the world without a plan and I also think he wants to see and do some things before he settles into a job and a family. He wants a break from school but wants to feel like he is doing something big.

We have told him that he may not make any decisions until graduation.

[momofone]

Sounds like your daughter had a plan and had been thinking about this for awhile before she turned 17- not so in our case. Our son had never even mentioned it until his friend came back from marine BC. It would be less than responsible for us to not have him take some time to really make sure that this is what he wanted to do. Every kid is different and no one else's mama should tell you how to respond. The navy will be there in the spring- in  the meantime he can study for asvab and get his college apps in. Fortunately football has prepared him physically for the challenges ahead. 

[PeachyNavyMom]

I have to say I agree with your decision. after all you are having him pursuit all avenues he is interested in, getting informed, so that he may make the best decision possible. I say, well done, just keep encouraging, supporting, and motivating him to find his best path. 

In the mean time, I am sure I do not need to say this, but get yourself as informed as you can. click every link, read the very helpful links this site has to offer, if he has seen a recruiter ask them questions, you get the idea. Although like I said I am sure you already are. I wish you and your son the best. 

A little about me, my son didn't quite finalize his decision untilend of 2012. then we were at the recruiters January this year. He went to BC June 26, graduated 8/23, is now in A school, and just started his classes to be an IT last week. He was a four year NJROTC in HS, but never made a final decision until then. He sometimes though he would go to college and I had him filling out apps and going after things. He ultimately thought that for him the Navy was the best fit. I am so proud, but sometimes I wish ... things could be different. I miss him terribly. He is happy though, and I am being honest about that. He really is. That gives me strength, knowing he made his own decision, after exploring other avenues. To this day things are set up for him to do a University transfer with USC. 

Just wanted you to know I think you are doing the right thing by having him wait to make his decision. 

[momofone]

Thanks for being a voice of reason! I feel like there is so much pressure to decide RIGHT NOW - like it's not going to be an option in six months. The recruiter was telling him he had to decide by today (he just met the kid for the first time on MONDAY). The recruiter told him he only had 18 spots- try explaining to your son that the recruiter has a quota and we don't have to be part of it RIGHT NOW. I intentionally did not go to the first meeting. If he is going to make an adult decision, I think it is important to let him walk into that office on his own. He is only 17, so he knew better than to sign anything. (We will both go to the next meeting...)

Like you, I will struggle with missing our child but if I believe it is what he wants and he is good with his decision, I will adapt like every other Navy mom.

This website is a blessing and I am so glad to have the opportunity to research and talk to other moms. (is there a NAVY4DADS website? lol.)

Thanks for your support! Wish your son luck and I will pray for strength for you!

PS- He has no desire to get on that plane the day after graduation. He will DEP until the fall and spend one more summer at the lake, with his girlfriend and his parents who will miss him very much....