She decided to join the Navy....

[Susanw004]

Hello everyone!

My daughter has recently informed me that she will be joining the Navy.  This is something I did NOT expect from her as she is what I call a "girly girl".  She has done her homework on the Navy, she knows it will be the hardest thing she will ever do.  But she is determined to make something of her life and this is the path she has chosen.  She is 17 and will be graduating from high school in May.

When she first told me (and she was scared to death to tell me), I was shocked and kind of angry that she would want to do this.  However I didn't let her see that.  I have been 100% supportive and encouraging.  When she is not around, that is a completely different story.  I am sad.  She is my only child and I can't imagine her being gone so far away and for so long.

Tonight, for the first time, I sat outside and bawled my eyes out.  You know...the ugly cry!!  She wasn't home.  I keep remembering her a small innocent child, playing in our pool and calling me "mommy".  This is the memory that continues to go through my head when I think about her leaving.  Are there stages of emotions, like there are with death?  I would love to hear other mom's stories about how they felt with and dealt with the news that their child was going into the military. 

I look forward to getting to know all of you other moms out there as time goes on.  Thank you for reading, thank you for supporting each other and God Bless!

Susan

[Anti M]

Yes, there is a Navy dads site, and there is a site for DEPPERS run by Craig who is retired Navy.  Your son could get a lot of straight answers on Craig's site.  

http://www.navydep.com/forums/index.php?s=b2e3542eca572692251f2a90c...

[lemonelephant]

His dad can join N4M and check out Dads on Moms.....com (we welcome all loved ones) and/or join http://www.navydads.com/.

[momofone]

I have noticed that you take a quote from a post and put your own spin on it. I don't know how other moms feel about it but speaking just for me, I find it somewhat rude. I did not say I speak for every other Navy mom and you are not superior in any way just because you didn't have any reservations about your sailor joining. Every loved one has a right to their feelings and this forum is supposed to be a place to share and find support. If you don't encourage free speech and choose to criticize everything I say then that is your issue. I will not edit my thoughts because I want my son to know the truth. Why? Because he needs to make this decision in spite of my feelings. If he chooses to go this way despite any reservations voiced by his family, then we will all be better off. Doing it because it was really something he wanted to do will make him more successful and give him strength. In the meantime,  I will talk to other moms about their experiences because I am in uncharted waters and am looking for answers.  Yesterday, I spent time talking with a friend of mine. She has a marine officer who is deployed and one who attended the navel academy. She is a nurse who works with soldiers and their families. I got a lot of good information from her which I will keep to myself- its one thing for you to come at me, but I won't allow you to go after her, too. 

So I have a choice to make. I could leave this forum and not use it for its intended purpose or stay and have to defend myself against the likes of you. I find it a strange choice since I was under the impression that we were on the same team. 

Is there a way to block someone on this forum? I really think we should unfriend one another. 

Peace be with you!

[Bethin NY (Ship 11 025)]

Mom, PLEASE do not leave because of one person.  We ARE on the same team and we are here to support each other in any way we can. I agree that not everyone is pleasant, but the majority of us are just like you.  We are Moms that are trying to figure out our place in this new life that our kids (or husbands or boyfriends or wives or girlfriends) have chosen. For some of us, there are real concerns that they are doing the right thing.  For others, they seem to be 100% sure that this is the bees knees.  Regardless, we are drawn here because we love & worry - nothing to be ashamed of in that.  Sorry you are experiencing the negativity that sometimes happens - just ignore it and know the group  WAS formed to help each other.

[Anti M]

I agree, there are so many folks here that you can find those who you click with.  That is where the groups really are a good avenue of support as they're more individualized.

Hey, there are people here who annoy me, and I know I annoy the snot out of others.  That's okay.  I'm here to support my sailors.  So are they.  Doesn't make me want to be friends!  

[momofone]

Thanks for your kind words. I think I got so fired up because it isn't the first time she did this to me and others as I read through the posts. It was implied that I was weak because I have concerns which is the farthest thing from reality.  The reality is that I am a bit of a bad a$$ who makes her living as an investigator who knows that nothing is as it seems. I remember well my parents' reaction when I went to the sheriff's academy...we have life experiences that we should share with our young people. Yes the decision is his, but more than anything, it should be a well-informed one. 

I find it a beautiful thing that we, as Americans, run toward the disaster. When our country calls us to service, we say "I will go."  We should never take lightly their sacrifice nor that of their families. 

Having said that, my concerns are real and based upon my life experiences. I hoped this forum would give me good information, and for the most part, that is what I have been given.  

I fully support all who serve and those that support them. 

[Concernedad]

My son also suddenly came home one day and declared he was joining the military. It came out of nowhere and I thought it might be a phase. He had college scholarship offers and I would have preferred he go to college, then military life later if he still chose to. However, that's not the way it worked out. 

What I would suggest is,

Do not be rushed by the recruiter. There job is to get recruits, and many use poor sales techniques to achieve their goal. However, do understand this Navy is rather full and if you read what's going on with our government and possible shut downs, getting in later, may become even tougher.

Understand, even if he were to join right away, in all likelihood, he will be waiting a year to enter, so don't put everything else on hold.

Have him sign up for college even if he's not sure as to his direction. My son actually got in a year of college before shipping out. What it meant to him was going in as an E-2 at a higher pay rate. Nothing wrong with that. 

If you are not happy with what you are hearing from a recruiter, talk to his superior. Just understand, they will treat your son as an adult and take instructions from him, not you. 

Know that there are other parents who felt just like you are feeling now. It took me quite a while to come to grips with my son's choice, but I recognized that the life was his, not mine. If I chose wrong for him, I would have been responsible for his failure. I recognize now that my son really had no direction. Good or bad, the Navy has given him the chance to grow up. Not a bad thing at all. 

Good luck

[momofone]

Thanks for sharing your story. It was as if my husband wrote it- pretty much what his thoughts are. I won't stop him if it is what he wants, just wanted him to spend more than a few days to think about it. It was a shocker, though.
I appreciate you taking time to write!

[Hlaurab]

Awww....Susan. I can relate. My youngest graduated from bootcamp May 2013. I was so proud of her! She is currently in San Diego. To be honest, it's a good thing that we don't hear from them too much in boot camp. I am the type of person to want to fix everything and baby her. I would have been a wreck to hear about the long hours, the pain adjusting to the boots, the gas chamber. There were many tears on my side. But there is nothing like the feeling at graduation!! Your daughter will be just fine! She's made a wise decision!

[kathierob]

Anyone out there have any advice for a mom who is new at this my son has been away from us for two weeks now. It is hard to not know what he is going through  Thanks Kath

[Tab ship 14 div 019]

I feel your pain for sure! I was totally surprised to learn my daughter wanted to join. She left 2 weeks ago for bootcamp :(. Its been very hard, but I'm so happy for her. She was very strong and excited when we left her at her swearing in. We are all  looking forward to her graduation (44 days!!). My advice to you is, really enjoy the time you have with her before she leaves. The months just flew by and before we knew it she was flying off to chicago. Good Luck to you both!

[Chris]

My son enlisted nearly eight years ago, I still cry. I am extremely proud, he couldn't have made a better decision.  I encouraged him to join, I miss him terribly none the less.